Clowns to the left of me..

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Jokers to the right..
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Here I am.
It never occurred to me until just now that if that line was uttered while standing alone, you would be the clowns and jokers that were being referred to.
And so I remain…
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First off the bat I have to point out a little bit of sprucing up that occurred here over the weekend. The esteemed league of ‘Maximo Supremo’ has gotten a facelift, and has given a much needed esthetic boost to the front page here. In my mind’s eye way back in August this is what I wanted to do, but then again, my mind’s eye also envisioned an online store as well.
You know what they say about Rome being built in a day though, and most certainly if the Romans were trading bike maintenance and baby sitting duties to get the empire constructed, there’s no wonder it ended up taking longer than a day.
Anyhoo- if you swing through those parts and pick up a little something for yourself.. Anything from a beanie to a bike frame, please tell em I sent you.
Speaking of which, my homies at Portland Design Works have just launched a video series for their line of products, the first being for my favorite little tool that could, the 3Wrencho, because 15 mm nuts rule;

In other news of those who help keep my lights on, El Cap-I-Tan Sporty Pirate from Soulcraft Bicycles (pictured here getting radtarded) had some info that as one in his debt, it is my duty to broadcast;
“Hey- if you could let people know on Wednesday’s post that Soulcraft will be attending the SF Bike Expo, that would be swell. We will be selling our usual merch as well as a bunch of new and used parts that we’ve accumulated over the years. Make sure you come early, because as the day goes on and I get more drunk, I’m not as open to making deals. In fact, I like to do my “eye for an eye” bit where I add whatever amount is asked for in discount. For example, people who don’t recognize a killer deal, who just can’t help themselves and ask for $10 off, in fact have just added $10 to that killer deal. I’m not an angry drunk, it’s just that my business acumen becomes that much sharper when I drink. And a free beer to anyone who mentions your post (12 people max).”
Ok folks- there is beer, and bikes, and killer deals. I suggest you get in the starting blocks now.
In news concerning cyclocross style athletic pursuits, the powerhouses from Bike Monkey Magazine have pulled out yet another stop in their bid to take over the Bay Area with the upcoming Cross Palace race;
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I understand that this race is going to have some unprecedented qualities to it, most notably of which is going to be an indoor/outdoor leg of the course through the actual Cow Palace building.
The last time I was there I saw a monster truck show with Loudass, so it’s with great anticipation that I might be able to share the same space that was once occupied by Truckasauris Rex.
However, as luck would have it, travel plans will possibly find me in the Southland, rubbing elbows with the beautiful and the vapid, so we’ll see how it plays out. If you are anywhere nearby, I whole heartedly recommend you get in to check this out, as it’s gonna be a goodn’.
Captain Dave, though not a ‘goodun’ by any stretch of the imagination, does in fact have a sharp set of eyes as he sent me this shot of a poor soul enjoying a terafirma snack wearing a pair of Evil socks taken from here;
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Nothing gets by that guy.
Speaking of Captain Dave, he recently pulled out the stops to get an honest to goodness EVIL website put together, so if you find yourself with a further hankering for obscenities and rude gestures after visiting here, stop by on the regular.
Word has even come down that a new, huge order of said socks is in the pipe which just might be available through him shortly.
I should mention that way over there in the big city of New York, the heads are opening their hearts this weekend with their annual Cranksgiving freak out. Have fun and lend a hand;
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Cause sometimes the ner-do-wells really do, do well.
Frank the super honch from I.M.B.A. (get yourselves a membership) emailed me with a clip for the ages;
“Dare I say somewhere Neil Blender has a tear in his eye and a desire to ride 20”.
-Frank “

Dare you say indeed. Tate is the kind of fellow who might not go as big as his counterparts, but he’s a visionary, and to me, that’s worth more than all the tea in China.
And I think that might be alot of tea.
I got a long overdue email from our friend George (who, it should be noted has a new virtual home) in which he sends all kinds of warm fuzzies;
“Just ran into a dude in a Bud sweater and he was a real asshole. Thought of you.
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Fuck Aspen
G”

I guess this means of the people in line to donate a kidney to me, George might not be one.
Ironically, just moments later big Jim from The Unholy Rouleur sent me this little bit of awesomeness;
“Stevil, attached is a pic with one of the two Unicorns of Awesomeness that were awarded at the cross race I promoted last week.
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They went to the Best NooB, or first time racer. You can also see the Best Single Speed medal. The one Awesome Unicorn is trampling it. As Awesome Unicorns are wont to do.
The only bummer is I couldn’t find one of these puppies in rainbow colors, but there’s always next year.
Just thought you’d appreciate this trophy.
Jim”

Call me crazy, but I’m beginning to sense a theme here.
Alright folks, I’m gonesville. As I said, I’m breaking out again this week, so we will catch you for regularly scheduled programing on Monday, November 23rd.
Keep the home fires burning.
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12 Responses to “Clowns to the left of me..”

  1. Beijing Ben November 17, 2009 at 10:22 pm #

    it is a LOT of tea. more than you can imagine.

  2. Chezedog November 17, 2009 at 10:25 pm #

    mouseovers bad!

  3. dfl brad November 17, 2009 at 11:21 pm #

    the clowns were the second best team in the city!

  4. kennykaos November 18, 2009 at 9:24 am #

    in the pic of that guy fallin on his face, everyone is going oww accept the one guy in the helmet and hes laughing, hahaha

  5. East Bay Ed November 18, 2009 at 12:45 pm #

    Babysitting? How about tonight?

  6. Levi Johnston November 18, 2009 at 9:04 pm #

    With the hatred that is generated, naturally, from my day job, I resent that Neil Blender is being used as a marketing come-on (cum-on for the perverted) for a BMX video. He is a rare cultural treasure (maybe), and, although friends with Lance Mountain, from what I can tell is not cursed with that 777 Christian business. Thus, fuck you & 666! BMX = Motley Crue. Skateboards = Necros.
    Not now, but I have started using a text-based browser to view the site because of those annoying right(-wing) margin ads–up Ian Stuart!

  7. gorgeous November 18, 2009 at 10:00 pm #

    I’m not sure if the bud sweater or the asshole part reminded me of you, but lets chutes for the ladder.

  8. Bluenoser November 19, 2009 at 3:58 am #

    I’ve a feeling that those guys ridin’ and fallin’ in the picture ain’t no guys. But I could be wrong.
    -B

  9. kepsel November 19, 2009 at 9:30 am #

    Double props to Tate!!

  10. LJ November 20, 2009 at 6:36 pm #

    Though this has nothing to do with the post …. I’ve been meaning to ask … does the title of this blog have any connection to the Archers of Loaf?
    If so, I salute you … if not, well its ok … I’ll still buy crap from you …

  11. Stevil November 20, 2009 at 8:53 pm #

    On the nose, LJ.

  12. Duncan November 23, 2009 at 9:10 pm #

    C’mon, Levi–really? What was comparing Tate to Neil trying to market? If someone sees a similarity in inspiration, are they obligated to buy something? Is there a marketing team up between Volume Bikes and G&S? I’ve been down for Neil forever, since I saw that video of him at a “streetstyle” contest where he spraypainted a face on the wallride during his run. Some BMXers like Necros, too.