Beatings that were previously reserved for red headed stepchildren need to be re-directed to the Utah state legislature.

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While picking up on various Tweets and Twats and Facespacebookpages on my Ham radio last week, I came across this bit of news that I am absolutely reeling from.
Utah just became the first state in the U.S. to criminalize miscarriage and punish women for having or seeking an illegal abortion.
Upon reading this article I said this;

This is insanity of the rarest vintage. As I expressed in a ‘congratulations on your new baby’ card that I sent to the legislative chambers, “Oh Utah.. I love the way you go that extra mile to make yourself the laughing stock of the union. I mean, Texas? They’re naturals at it, but you… You put fourth that extra effort that makes you shine.”
I am dumbfounded that something like this would even be conceived (no pun intended) let alone followed through upon, but then again, as the article points out in the introduction, this is the same state that proposed to honor gun manufacturers on Martin Luther King Day and considered the elimination of 12th grade to cut back on education spending.
I recieved some commentary on this subject from my old friend Jen who I first met back when she was a super honch bike racer for Independent Fabrications. Initially I was going to cut her email up and post specific points, but the whole thing is relevant, so I let it be.
She writes;
“I live in Salt Lake. I am appalled. If I ever decide to have children I would certainly still want to exercise, and we all know that for me that means to ride my bike. Many women I competed with on an international stage trained, with lowered intensity, through their pregnancy. Under this law a miscarriage could be considered criminal.
What this does is convince me of two things. One, if I am ever in that situation I would certainly drive as fast as the speed limit allows to California, home of political asylum and sanity, to seek medical help. Two, I would probably quit my job and wear a disguise each time I left the house – that way I couldn’t be identified if I slipped and fell on the ice (reckless) or got in a car wreck, or even drove by the liquor store (which is I’m sure what most of this is secretly about).
I love living at the edge of some of the best skiing in the world and I have made some sacrifices to do this. On a day-to-day basis I go largely unaffected by the ridiculous religiously motivated legislation that plagues this state. I truly believe the ACLU will succeed in fighting this law, or at least the vague wording. This is once again an attempt to slide in a legal back door.
My favorite scenario is: a man beats his partner who is pregnant. She is poor and afraid and doesn’t leave him. She miscarries. She is prosecuted for criminal homicide for staying, while he pleads to assault because it’s easier to prove she didn’t leave than it is to prove his beating caused her to miscarry.
Like many of these laws, it will take someone actually being “caught” and prosecuted to see how it will play out in court. For now it is reactionary; based on one case. I have a feeling it will be expensive and difficult to prove, and they can barely pay for public school here, let alone high-profile cases with very little physical evidence.”

So like the point with which the article concludes, it is up to us to spread the word and hold Utah accountable for being the misogynistic buffoons that they are.
This is all about PR. The state legislature backed off their proposal to eliminate 12th grade when it was ridiculed in the national press. Dropping a year from high school led to “perception problems” — because of The Onion! — but national media has been silent when the state enacts one of the most dangerous abortion laws in U.S. history. That silence ends right now.”
The power of communication via the internet is proven. For example, just recently religious wack job, Arthur Mijares’ efforts to change the name of California’s Mount Diablo to ‘Mount Reagan’ were shut down, due in part to a huge number of opposing supporters on a Facebook page.
When the word spreads, and Utah is seen by the world as a state run by fools, I like to suspect that this misuse and abuse of the system will be squelched and thrown into the garbage where it belongs.
Here Utah, I have something for you;
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Might any of you remember back on the old blog when someone stood up and bellyached about how I should “just stick to bikes”?
Well, if you could see me, right now I’m dancing to my “you’re not the boss of me” song.
Anyhow, speaking of the old blog, in a rather ironic turn of events, Swobo has stepped up and become one of my newest advertisers.
Now I will recommend you go buy some goods so that they can continue to pay me for my awesomeness.
Another new advertiser is good old Nate from Monkey Wrench Bicycles, seen here getting eleventeen different kinds of rad;
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As you can plainly see in the Monkeywrench blog, they specialize in everything dirt worthy, vintage and pristine;
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This of course isn’t to say that they don’t double as your favorite LBS as well, so should you be remote and looking for brilliant oldness, or be local and looking for some common newness, Monkeywrench is the place to go.
And as you know, I’m not saying this because they pay me to. I’m saying it because I believe in them and what they do.
This is the basis for my advertising practices. The people who I showcase are not only masters at what they do, but are dear friends, and I am damn proud to be flying the flag for each of them.
In this regard I am the luckiest person around.
What I present to you now for your consideration is an email I recieved from my legal councel in regards to my use of the Samhain skull on the ever popular Downzig shirts;
“Both Samhain and its successor Danzig use the same horned skull image originally drawn by artist Michael Golden for the cover of the 1984 comic book The Saga of Crystar #8, published by Marvel Comics);
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There is no way Danzig can claim to own the intellectual property rights to this image, since he stole it from Marvel [and in fact, if you look at Danzig’s website, he does not assert a TM or © to the art]. This has clearly been below Marvel’s radar screen for the past 25 years. The worst that will happen is that you will get a cease and desist letter from the counsel for Mr. Glenn Allen Anzalone, which would be about the coolest thing that could possibly happen.”

Man, I love having friends who are smarter than I am.
And rest assured, if I did get a cease and desist order, that would be my next shirt.
Or perhaps I’d just take the easy route;
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Not that I would have to go to these lengths considering I spent a short stint in the band back in 1988;
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But if that’s the case, perhaps I’ll just save myself the grief and go into production with this one that cap,cüzie, and sock designer extraordinaire Brado threw together for me;
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Whatever the case, the product that comes down the pipe next is gonna be marginally radtarded.
Of that you can almost be guaranteed.
Now as you might have guessed by Friday’s mini-tirade concerning the NAHBBSTHTBHEEWICTFATS (North American Hand Built Bicycle Show That Happens To Be Hyper Exclusionary Except When It Comes To Finding A Title Sponsor), I have a funky taste in my mouth, and find myself extraordinarily apathetic.
However there was one bike that was displayed last year, that in my humble opinion should serve as the show’s epitaph.
I.E. “Game over. The best bike has just been built.”
It was Rick Hunter’s ‘All Day Sucker’;
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(Photos obviously shot by our friends from Urban Velo).
The fact that this steed didn’t sweep the competition still remains a mystery to me, but as they say ‘opinions are like assholes. Stevil tends to be one.’
Of course this bike suits my particular esthetic because I don’t particularly care about garage-born full suspension bikes, $5,000 townies, Johnny-come-lately builders or the advances in fixed gear freestyle technology. I like a bike that would comply with an all day adventure, regardless of where that might take you, built with attention to the umpteenth detail by the hands of a true craftsmen, ala the Soulcraft Dirtbomb.
I swear I saw a similar bike made by either Mike DeSalvo or Brent Steelman at one point recently, but I’ll be damned if I can find it now.
Anyhow, not only is that the kind of bike that not only gives me a soul boner, but seems to be a pretty damn fine cherry for today’s post as well.
So what have we learned here today? I’m a luddite whore, Danzig should sue me, I have stuff to sell, and women apparently deserve no rights.
That right there is a pretty piece of gum for Monday.
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23 Responses to “Beatings that were previously reserved for red headed stepchildren need to be re-directed to the Utah state legislature.”

  1. cary March 1, 2010 at 7:55 am #

    ANT had one of their folding bikes stolen in (literally) 60 seconds. I’ve never been prouder of my city.
    Cable lock?! What were you thinking?

  2. Fat Chance March 1, 2010 at 8:09 am #

    I have had zero power due to the mega storm that rolled through the east coast last week- zero power and zip on the heat for the last 4 days-but as soon as I got some juice back this was the first place I needed to stop by to get my fix.
    Ahhh, better.
    Can I paypal funds for a set of socks instead of going through the long process of the check out? Or should I just stop whining?

  3. richAround March 1, 2010 at 8:32 am #

    Having seen Danzig BITD, there is no way that photo was taken without Glen standing on a step stool.

  4. Jim March 1, 2010 at 9:12 am #

    >>>I have had zero power and no heat
    I recommend hill intervals, and Sportsbalm Hot. That’ll address both problems.
    Oh, wait a minute… you weren’t talking about the inadequacy of your riding, were you?

  5. pedalman March 1, 2010 at 9:33 am #

    How did the Neanderthals (mormons) end up controling one of our most beautiful states? I propose legislation to remove them from Utah and set up a mormon reservation in…uh, how about mars.
    p.s. pictures of beautiful cross steeds and riders bunnyhopping barrier’s, just what my snowcrusted brain needed!

  6. nettles March 1, 2010 at 9:52 am #

    why do so many custom bikes use a layback post; shouldn’t that issue be addressed while building it? but other than that that bike is killer.

  7. tylernol March 1, 2010 at 10:00 am #

    hey Texas is not that bad! There are lots of other crappy states like Missouri, Mississippi, and Alabama .

  8. Stevil March 1, 2010 at 10:04 am #

    http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states/texas

  9. Matt M March 1, 2010 at 10:12 am #

    Sign me up for the cap,cüzie, and sock designer extraordinaire Brado’s shirt. Please.

  10. reverend dick March 1, 2010 at 10:15 am #

    _uck you, we’re from Texas!
    And we learned manners, so we know how to treat the ladies nicely.
    That is all.

  11. Malcolm March 1, 2010 at 10:52 am #

    MWC = BEST shop ever

  12. Duffin March 1, 2010 at 11:12 am #

    Whatta a post. The asshole politicians that run Utah are getting crazier, Glenn Danzig stole the famous skull image from a lame-ass comic book (Crystar?!?) that naturally I now want to own, and I am dazzled by that mating Unicorn shirt and want it to become a reality. I’m ferklempt.
    BTW, if you want to own Crystar #8, too, dig it:
    http://cgi.ebay.com/CRYSTAR-8-Very-Good-Comics-Book_W0QQitemZ230441799301QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item35a766ce85

  13. Stevil March 1, 2010 at 11:59 am #

    Bought it…

  14. Scott Larson March 1, 2010 at 12:08 pm #

    Hey, my wife is from Lincoln NE and I was able to visit Monkey Wrhech Cycles this last summer. A oasis in a sea of corn. Nice ride out to Pioneer Park to see the elk and bison with my daughter on the tag-along. She was sporting a new MonkeyWrench sticker on her tag-along which was attatched to my Rusty Rocket and when she kicks it into high gear we can really scoot.
    TTG
    Santa Fe
    NM

  15. Blind Bobby March 1, 2010 at 12:12 pm #

    Stevil:
    You are quite simply RAD. I went to college in Utah…school was a good excuse to ski 150 days a year. Even then (I am missing a toe so I can’t count high enough to remember how many years ago) their legislators couldn’t find their ass with either hand and I have more common sense in my missing digit.

  16. devin March 1, 2010 at 3:07 pm #

    Sure looks as if Glen has some thing shoved up his ass or may just need to poop?

  17. warthog March 1, 2010 at 9:57 pm #

    I can’t think about Utah without thinking about the scene in Repo Man where Otto gets in the Malibu with
    J. Frank Parnell.
    J.F.P.: “Did you ever feel as if your mind had started to erode?”
    Otto: “No.”
    J.F.P.: “Ever been to Utah?”

  18. rik van hooydork March 1, 2010 at 11:47 pm #

    nate can bunny hop your mama

  19. Brij March 2, 2010 at 12:40 pm #

    RE: The All Day Sucker. I have the same response as you Stevil–there are so many possibilities with such a ride and I suppose it’s a bit retro without being self-conscious about it. Funky fresh and functional. I came across a similar bike, not quite as cool, but the same approach:
    http://www.hampsten.com/bikes/strada-bianca/
    I’m obsessed with the fat tire road bike I guess that makes me old…

  20. Colin M March 2, 2010 at 7:52 pm #

    That is one ugly baby. Really really ugly. That is why we red heads should not procreate.

  21. Jim Beam March 2, 2010 at 9:15 pm #

    +3 on the unicorn’s doing it shirt. Seriously, I’d like 3 of them. Please.

  22. Chezedog March 2, 2010 at 9:19 pm #

    Used to live in Utah. The landscape was awesome, the government, not so much. I’d heard things were different now, especially in The City, but I see the current lawmakers are just as dumb as the ones who made it illegal for the Great Salt Lake to rise above a certain level…

  23. uma March 3, 2010 at 9:43 am #

    A unicorn THREESOME? Oh that’s just kinky. Everyone knows unicorns are monogamous. Oh wait… Jim Beam meant he wants THREE shirts. Oh haha
    As for sticking to bikes, um… you did. Women ride bikes. Utah legislature is trying to make BIKE RIDING ILLEGAL FOR WOMEN in Utah. This I cannot abide, no more than I can abide a woman being charged with manslaughter for miscarrying her unborn child.
    The “Mormon Colony” idea sounds like a fine idea, except… Isn’t that what SLC was supposed to be?