Vivo in intenta est morior sulum dies.

So how about Saturday’s “One for the weekend”, huh?
I’m still kinda reeling from that piece.
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I can always count on JGH to deliver the goods.
Unless of course ‘the goods’ happen to be a bag of cocaine, or a suitcase full of money, in which case it’s safe to assume he will keep it for himself.
To kick off today’s post, my friends at Wend alerted me to this bit of very exciting news.
Truth be told, I’ve long had my suspicions, but without the rigorous testing by those with lab coats and clip boards, I couldn’t ever be certain. The jury is still out on whether or not these same findings will apply to the polished turd that is Chinese PBR.
Now then, as occurs from time to time I find myself sitting on top of a random array of correspondences from the good people who are scattered across this great sphere like so much loose pocket change thrown overhand from a 25th floor balcony, so I figure there is no better time to get into those than right now.
Right out of the gate I have gotten word that a very talented friend of mine who is responsible for a huge amount of design work around the bicycle industry has recently lost one of his primary contracts and as a result is throwing his hat back into the freelance ring.. Whether you know it or not, you are aware of his work and the impact it’s had on a huge array of companies and products. Should you find yourself perhaps working for a company who is in need of a profoundly skilled designer, please, as a favor to not only yourself, but to me, shoot him a hello.
Plus he kinda has the whole Milo Aukerman thing going for him, which I’ve always found comforting;
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In news of creative transport, Billy got ahold of me with a clip that I had posted back in the Bummer Life days, but it’s good enough that we should bring it back for another go around;
“hey stevil,
check this out…
aparently its from a movie called “carts of darkness”

thanks for the blog
billy”

To the core of my being I appreciate that the only dialog in that clip is “some people think I’m nuts.”
Now, what on earth would give anyone that idea?
Keeping the videoesque good times alive is this offering from everybody’s favorite school teacher, C to the MFO;
“This makes the awesomest song ever awesomererer…It’s like the party I’ve always wanted to go to. I like the chicks with no rhythm clapping on the motorcycle and the bass player with a skullet….Also the guy that is dancing around with apparently no job with his silk shirt open…That would be me I think.”

As I pointed out to CFO, The only thing that could make that party better would be a homemade water slide out of the attic window. Of course the same could be said for just about anything.
He Who Will Remain Unnamed sent this bit of propaganda from CX Magazine detailing how not only should everyone take cyclocross seriously, but more specifically those who ride without gears;
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The interview is with the individual who prevailed in the one speed category at last year’s Cyclocross Nationals in Bend, who goes by the name of JT Fountain.
In response to his insights I say, “I agree with the whole costumes thing, but to each his own. As for the rest of it, I say this.
Granted, he’s been racing for all of two years, so any amount of perspective is relatively limited.
“I wonder if it might be reflecting negatively not only on singlespeed ‘cross, but on cyclocross in general.”
Like there are old ladies or politicians or cardinals in the Vatican aware of what hijinx transpires within the confines of any random number of bike races, tisking their fingers in our general direction? Does he really think that anybody actually gives a shit?
If this is the case, I can say without hesitation that no, they do not. What I do know is that without the history that brought the qualities he feels deters respect from his sport, the idea of riding a singlespeed wouldn’t even be a glimmer in his eye, for you see, the whole idea of racing singlespeeds was born of an exhaustion of this very attitude.
Like it or not, it’s what he apparently dislikes most about this particular discipline that is its legacy.
From here, it’s a natural transition to an email from Captain Dave
“Oh my, this is about as funny as it can get.
Tired Gay succumbs to Dix in 200 meters

I’ve said it many times before, I feel quite fortunate to have found a whole group of friends whose senses of humor got stunted at fourteen years old and in turn appreciate the fact that I am cut from the same cloth;
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This image of course illustrates how one most efficiently lights one’s own flatulence.
Had I not been blessed with this fact, I would spend an awful lot of time alone.
Mr. Blacksocks knows what I’m talking about. He also sent me an email of the short and sweet kind.
“Why I like cycling..
It’s the only way in the world that you can look like this and still be badass…”

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It’s true. Some of my biggest heros have happened to look like clowns.
So here we are at yet another conclusion of All Hail The Black Market, and with it, more opportunities to ride shopping carts downhill, rip a beer bong with a bunch of nearly nudes in a shower, or laugh immaturely at a seemingly penis related play on words. Whatever you do and however you chose to do it, don’t take yourself too seriously.
After all, it is that action that results in a fast track trip to looking like a total jackass, and unless this is your intent, it’s just best to give it a wide birth.
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17 Responses to “Vivo in intenta est morior sulum dies.”

  1. dpow August 2, 2010 at 8:32 am #

    Want to be taken more seriously on a single speed in cross? Hop in the PRO race and win it. Otherwise, put some clown shoes on, take a beer hand up and have some fun, buddy.

  2. Ghostship Matt August 2, 2010 at 9:23 am #

    JT is burning bridges on both sides here. Take single speeding more seriously? Really? What ever happened to having fun on your bike? Dude, when you’re ready to chill out and have a good time, I’ll have a beer ready for you. But as long as you’re gonna be all young-republican about the whole thing, I’ll still have a beer ready….I just can’t guarantee that it won’t be primed with a paint shaker.

  3. chunksworth August 2, 2010 at 12:31 pm #

    watch the whole carts of darkness here
    shit was kinda depressing, but i learned a lot about proper cart choice.

  4. Erik August 2, 2010 at 10:01 pm #

    Haven’t checked but I would bet JT is from Boulder or at least planning to move there soon.

  5. Hurben August 2, 2010 at 10:01 pm #

    I believe that’s Phil Anderson, he wrote the book on being a badarse.

  6. Teamfubar August 3, 2010 at 5:37 am #

    No, no, no, that JT is right. We DO need to get rid of the “weird, wacky outfits” in SSCX. All those clowns in skin-suits and full kits have no business being on a singlespeed.
    God, you’re riding a SS for Christ’s sakes…it’s supposed to be like when you were a kid on your one geared bike. Why do the fun police try to fuck it up for everyone?

  7. bikemike August 3, 2010 at 6:21 am #

    hey jt, lighten the fuck up. douche.

  8. Mary August 3, 2010 at 8:47 am #

    If I hear that you’re “just getting ready for cross” one more time I’m going to dump out your bottles and let the air out of your tires.
    Also, I thought meatball sandwiches were for everyone?

  9. Tiny Hands August 3, 2010 at 10:43 am #

    Silk Shirt’s job is to fight off all the speed induced spiders.
    And a band playing at an old farmhouse or in a cow pasture = every weekend in Alabama. God damn I miss those parties.

  10. -dan August 3, 2010 at 1:35 pm #

    carts of darkness… i have the perfect hill just down from the house.
    teamfubar is correct, people need to quite taking the fun out of riding bikes.
    -word verifyer-
    “fiddlers first”

  11. Bluenoser August 3, 2010 at 4:04 pm #

    Remember me? I’m the guy who bought your Handup sketch. So I believe in fun in cx.
    You guys have to figure this shit out soon instead of beating each other up.
    We figured it out with hockey eons ago. Is it a pickup game or a dead serious game with refs you’re going to? Get it straight before you play.
    And if you watch long enough Mr. Silk Shirt does actually sing into the mic.
    -B

  12. Stevil August 3, 2010 at 7:54 pm #

    Thank you Mary. You have renewed my faith in humanity.
    -word verifier-
    “seeping about”
    Indeed I am.

  13. Mary August 4, 2010 at 9:23 am #

    Dear Stevil,
    You have twice personally responded on my comments. That really means something to me. I know you’re engaged, but is that like, um, serious?

  14. Stevil August 6, 2010 at 7:15 pm #

    Mary, we always have Utah.

  15. gar August 12, 2010 at 5:40 pm #

    Did anyone notice the driver of the Dark Cart looks like the lead from Ram Jam? Maybe dude is a time traveller as well…

  16. JT Fountain September 16, 2010 at 10:26 pm #

    Hi there everyone. I’m the douche that everyone loves to hate, mentioned above. I kinda knew I’d make some enemies in sharing my perspective on SSCX… that’s ok, I can handle it. One thing that didn’t come across in the interview, either because it was edited out or I forgot to verbalize it, was that I’m all about having fun… while trying to be competitive at the same time. I think competitiveness and fun can go together. And although I only had two years of racing cross under my belt, I had been familiar with the sport as well as having been a single speed mountain biker for many years. Actually, the single speed thing goes all the way back to when I started bmx racing as a wee lad. I’ve always felt like my SS mountain and cx bikes were extensions of my bmx years. By the way, I do think some people care about the sport of cx… maybe not the types Stevil mentioned, but those out there who have yet to join the club, but might be interested in trying it out. And the issue I have with the SSCXWC is that it claims to be a race, but most of the “racers” are really just riding in a costume parade. Yes, one could argue that a skinsuit is a wacky costume, but there are many ways of twisting things in this regard. I know others share my attitude and perspective… I also am aware of those who seem to despise my views, as on this blog. It’s one thing to judge a person based on what you’ve read, but I would venture to guess you might have a different view if we were hanging out in person, maybe rallying bikes around in the dirt. Oh yeah, I race my ss against the geared guys here in the Inland Northwest(not Boulder), and have a blast doing it! Bottom line – as soon as I’m no longer having fun on my bike, I won’t ride… and I’m still riding it. Thanks for reading. Pedal.

  17. Stevil September 17, 2010 at 9:23 am #

    A difference of opinion does not an enemy make JT. Thanks for your insights.