Buckle up for a totally mediocre ride.

Here we are at the apex of the week. It’s all smooth, downhill coasting from here. What could possibly go wrong?


Except for that I guess.
Kicking things off- as long as Rick Perry has soiled two days of posts, we might as well keep the good times rolling;


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It was certainly not for lack of trying however, as the ride included (for those in the know) the fairly treacherous scramble down into the little town of Canyon known as ‘Pinehurst’, as well as descents reaching upwards of 50 miles per hour, all while this was keeping me safe from harm;
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Of course I didn’t notice this until after we had returned home, otherwise I would have locked my bike up in the backyard and spent the afternoon hiding in the closet.
I am certainly grateful to my guardian angel who at this point has most definitely thrown up his hands in exasperation and walked off the job, giving himself a few days of much deserved rest and relaxation.
Speaking of which, a seasonal celebration is happening in Chicago this weekend which I was told about by Mikey;
“Maybe one day you will come get a taste of Chicago cyclocross. We are rad but dont have mountains. You’ve got a place to stay and loaner bike if you ever find it within yourself. I even have Internet access and running water.
I work for West Town Bikes. We are a non-profit that does a crap load of good in the community. Winter times is hard in these parts so I need to raise some money. We have a race this Saturday and we have a party afterward. I know you like flyers and crap so here it is;
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Post it or dont.
Cousin Mikey”

I will post it. As a matter of fact, I just did.
I know I keep saying it, but one day intend on traveling this big screwed up country of ours to attend parties, and races and sully the environs of those who have offered me a safe corner on their floor. When that day will be, I don’t know. What I do know is that this is something I would very much like to do, and as soon as I recover from this holiday’s financial hit, I will start saving money again to make just such a trip a reality.
That’s not to say I bought my friends and family an array of lavish gifts. I couldn’t even afford humble ones. I just bought boxes and wrapping paper this year and am giving the gift of imagination.
There’s really no greater gift, and we all know, imagination is a terrible thing to waste. If it weren’t for those particular synapses firing, we would rarely see any art that doesn’t suck, which thankfully we do.
Luckily Steve came though with just such an example;
“howdy, I saw this artists show yesterday and loved it, it made me think of your work and therefore I thought you might like it 🙂
Rachel Goodyear;
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cheers
Steve

Rachel is like, one of my personality’s dream girl, and you know she’s probably crazy as hell.
Good for her.
Some time ago I received a transmission of one of my Australian counterparts with a request to spread some info about a thing they are doing. Since that’s what I do, I agreed;
“If you have a chance to cram this into your blogtacular wares, Angry & I would appreciate getting the word out for our next and craziest/best gravel grinder yet.
Starting at 1am, riding all night on undulating gravel roads and finishing as the sun rises. Thanks to some very enthusiastic strangers we have also secured a checkpoint just after a 12% climb, where riders can restock on water, coffee, food and dry off in case of rain;
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Details.
Some photos from the recon last Friday.
Cheers,
Blakey.”

Now, as the curtian begins to drop on today’s effort of wordage, I will include a correspondence from a real, honest-to-god woman who rides and races and genuinely loves every minute of it;
“Re: I win!
But I actually got 3rd. But really, I win, as you can see by how excited I was just to get on the box;
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UCI Elite Women’s cx race Podium – Nobeyama, Japan. Nov 2011.
Typical scene at a cross race;
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Sorry I have no bike beerbong photos for you…might wanna solicit Lana’s help for those.
Lovez~Manbreaker”

I like that Manbreaker. Of all of the people I look forward to seeing on my occasional trips to Minneapolis West, she smells better than almost all of them.
Anyway, I’m always happy any time I am graced by her presence, or even an email containing what I automatically assumed was an image of the last remaining bits of Tom Hanks’ former co-star;
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While today has been an easy descent, and though it was inevitable, I feel as if it’s reasonably clear that this would be the part when we just ran head-long into the wall.
It really was just a matter of time.
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3 Responses to “Buckle up for a totally mediocre ride.”

  1. Keith Earickson December 14, 2011 at 9:38 am #

    I bet he did poop in space.

  2. Crank December 14, 2011 at 9:53 am #

    Was that a custom “Paul”(R) component ham leg holder? When will it be at interbike? Can I get one, and will it be anodized? Also, the hell with the Xmas crowd. Run off the road twice today by blood thirst Xmas bitches. Why can’t you do more to get women off cars, and onto bikes?

  3. Trey December 15, 2011 at 4:49 am #

    It can be eaten right off the hoof, but it’s better smoked.