Every office space needs a swinging tire and a basket of bananas.

As the chaos of life continues to swirl around me, I will pound out a rhythm out on the keyboard and see what transpires.
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To maintain my heralded position as the feyball weblogger who has gotten the scoop and premiered the last two Red Fang videos, I’m gonna stick with tradition and do it again;
(Note- There was 200 views when I wrote this, and now there’s 25,000. I guess I missed the scoop.)

You’re welcome.
Moving along, Warpath formerly of The Soil Saloon and presently of NYC Velo emailed me a heads up for an upcoming shindig they are hosting;
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It promises to be a good time and I hear they won’t even mind if you show up wearing your pajamas.
That’s actually a lie. I didn’t hear that from anyone. I just made it up, but now that it’s on the internet it must be true.
On that very same weekend, and continuing on the topic of dirtbag celebrations, Kenny sent along notification that he’s involved in his very own;
“Hey master of disaster,
My friends are putting on a race sunday the 29th here in the murder capital of America, would you mind posting it on your internerds blogosphere? Here’s the website.
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Thanks dude!
Kenny Kaos”

Who is Kenny kidding? He doesn’t have any friends.
While trolling the book of faces recently in an effort to find a mistress, I came across a photo shot by H.J.T. of the Southland’s Langtown event that sums up everything that is right with the world;
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If ever you need a reminder of exactly which side our bread is buttered, please refer to this image.
Now then, as you may or may not recall, sometime in the last two weeks I cleared out a bunch of emails I had sitting in my inbox, after which I was feeling pretty high on myself. Little did I realize that I had only scratched the surface as I was still uncovering transmissions from the summertime. Case in point is this one from Mike;
“Hey Stevil
Hope your summer kicks nads! Mine has been damn fine and surely got radder today when I stopped during a ride to have a wobbly pop with a legend;
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I’m sure Rick enjoyed the company and he passed on his blessings for all us bitches with a penchant for two wheeled debauchery.
Cheers,
MikeH”

In honor of the king, I would one day like to visit his resting place and burn an unwillingly restrained hooker with my crack pipe.
It’s a little known fact, but towards the end of Rick James’ life he became quite fond of the mountain bicycling. Often times he could be seen wheeling around Marin on his bicycle of the same name, so the guy couldn’t have been all bad, right?
Speaking of Christian mountain bikers, after Wednesday’s inclusion of the dreadful ‘Peloton‘ trailer, I was inspired to dust off this old chestnut which I had originally posted some time in 2010;

It’s like ‘Rad’ but with mountain bikes, Jesus and a black guy.
Is it because this is a topic I care about, that every bike movie made is the worst thing ever? I’ve seen lots of movies about art, being drunk, philandering or all three that I love dearly. Why is it that movies revolving around a bicycle as a central theme are always so terrible?
Please let me know. Operators are standing by.
I think today we’ll finish up with a pinch of business and I will mention that I have a smattering of smaller sizes of both small and medium AHTBM ‘black metal’ shirts, as well as a few small Downzig shirts that I am blowing out for ten bucks a piece. I have to make room for some new product, plus I want to carry as few items as possible during the upcoming move I keep jibberjabbering about;
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Secondly, I will re-remind anyone who cares that the 2012 AHTBM kit order deadline is quickly approaching with just a week and a half to go.
That’s Febuary sixth, so do your worst because after this run, they are done.
If you don’t care to look as impossibly dashing as this individual, that’s your business;
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Demonika makes for a pretty good ready-made model. I would include an image of myself wearing the kit but I’m sworn to including only one gorilla image per post.
It’s Friday… Do what you do.
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21 Responses to “Every office space needs a swinging tire and a basket of bananas.”

  1. Chris Jensen January 27, 2012 at 6:27 am #

    for WK, we calculated the time difference from belgium to be 8am Central time, which is 9am Eastern time. someone may want to discuss this with NYC Velo

  2. One Eyed z January 27, 2012 at 6:51 am #

    There is a bike shop close to my house that is showing the UCI Worlds CX women’s/elite Men’s races live on Sunday. But they want $25 to sit in their shop and view it… at 730AM. (I guess they are providing beers & foods)
    I think I’ll skip that, watch it live on my computer for free. Then I can drink my own beer and eat my own food in my underwear.

  3. Charlie MF January 27, 2012 at 7:39 am #

    Perhaps this disdain for all feature motion pictures bicycle is because they they do not posses the elements of art, drunkenness and philandering. Make up some story boards and get the process going, Stevilberg.

  4. CatalinaGriffin January 27, 2012 at 8:09 am #

    Every body remembers that humen’s life is not cheap, nevertheless some people require cash for different issues and not every man gets big sums cash. Therefore to get some loans and just student loan should be good solution.

  5. Pablo Picnostral January 27, 2012 at 8:21 am #

    There’s a good bicycle movie. Jour de Fete, with Jacques Tati.It’s subtitled, if that puts you off, but he’s a mailman, which is kinda like being a messenger, and he’s drunk, which is also kinda like a messenger. Also, 2 Seconds, while not a great film has a hot French Canadian lesbian as a protagonist.
    I like movies.

  6. pablo picnostral January 27, 2012 at 8:24 am #

    oh, and Breaking Away was pretty good.

  7. Stevil January 27, 2012 at 8:31 am #

    Agreed. Breaking away was tremendous, as was the more recent ‘Triplets of Belleville’, but those certainly seem to be the exception to the rule.

  8. pabblo picnostral January 27, 2012 at 8:32 am #

    One of the greatest movie scenes ever, and it stars a bicycle:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXhRPnh1JSU

  9. fomenter January 27, 2012 at 8:46 am #

    Demonika and that kit look fetching on Chuckanut Drive.
    Or am I misidentifying that pavement?

  10. case January 27, 2012 at 9:02 am #

    Just got myself a top and suspended pants of the more beautiful kind.

  11. trounder January 27, 2012 at 9:31 am #

    Thank you AHTBM for once again sharing the most awesome powers of the Red Fang.

  12. ervgopwr January 27, 2012 at 9:35 am #

    Re: bike movies?
    A: bike people are kooks.
    Furthermore: People are evil, corporations are people, ergo, coporations are evil.
    More seriously, it probably has to do with the lance effect. Any American made movie suffers from trying to escape old one nuts shadow. How can you top the story of cancer/7TDF’s? Can’t do it.
    Such then Breaking Away, (even American Flyers) and thus Triplets (being French) are excellent films as they existed pre-lance and non-american.
    Until the film is made of the Joe Parkin (has nice hair)/Dog in a Hat story. That would be awesome.
    /film disertation

  13. Luscious Dick Tacoma January 27, 2012 at 9:41 am #

    What is Pee Wee’s Big Adventure if not a bicycle movie? And a GRAND bicycle movie at that? Plus it stars Newt Gingrich as Francis.

  14. HW Thrasher January 27, 2012 at 10:51 am #

    there’s lotsa talent lurking in that Langtown photo. A keen eye will spot Rapha’s Cole in the striped shirt. http://www.rapha.cc/cole-maness
    viva Langtown.

  15. pedalman January 27, 2012 at 11:30 am #

    If I had 5 grand to spare, I’d pay Red Fang to make a bike movie.

  16. kennykaos January 27, 2012 at 11:34 am #

    as for the race stevil promoted for me, i forgot a crucial piece of info, the murder capital of the US is philadelphia haha

  17. bub January 27, 2012 at 8:50 pm #

    Bike movies suck because they try to copy the Rocky story line or try to put a Disney spin on things. Can’t there be a movie where the bad guy wins… i want a movie where the main character sells his soul to the Devil. then the movie shows him winning races, snorting coke, fucking whores and everything ends happy as can be. maybe the Devil isn’t so bad after all should be the moral of the story…

  18. hans January 27, 2012 at 10:14 pm #

    Bike movies:

    • The Bicycle Thief
    • Breaking Away
    • Stars and Watercarriers
    • A Sunday in Hell
    • Pee Wee’s Big Adventure
    • Quicksilver (Kevin Bacon!)

    um… dang… brain freeze…

  19. Stevil January 28, 2012 at 2:09 am #

    I’ll give you The Bicycle Thief.
    As I said, Breaking Away was awesome.
    Stars and Watercarriers, A Sunday in Hell I would consider documentaries, and while are both very good, (it would be necessary to include ‘Joe Kid On a Stingray’ or ‘Race Across The Sky’, or the incredible ‘Hell On Wheels’ as well), I am referring to a fictional storyline. In this day and age, I don’t think it could be done with justice.
    Lastly, even though the movie was about finding his stolen bike, I never really considered Pee Wee’s Big Adventure a ‘bike movie’ per se, and Quicksilver was terrible.

  20. David S. January 28, 2012 at 4:17 am #

    Rad Racing for life!

  21. Brij Lunine January 30, 2012 at 4:15 pm #

    You pretty much covered it Stevil–can’t think of any other feature cycling films worth seeing. At least Breaking Away and The Triplets are really awesome. But these two are so painfully bad–every single thing is wrong with them. If we tried to create a parody of a cycling film it couldn’t be this bad. May I just point out that the title, “Potential Inside,” is redundant. Where else does potential lie? WTF? Grumble grumble.