Good gravy, it’s another post.

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And for those of you who are curious, Google’s taking forever to come up with an answer, so at this point, I’m still unsure.

One thing I am absolutely positive of is that a couple of months ago, Maximo Supremo residents Surly Bikecycles made the contact in order to ask if I would enjoy spending time atop one of their circus freak Krampuses (Krampi?). I said “sure. I like bikes“, to which they replied “might you have the parts with which to build it up?” At that stage in the game I looked in my big plastic bin of extra bits and pieces, and saw nothing but Rock Shox suspension posts and Caramba Double Barrel cranks.

Pretty sure I don’t, nor do I want to strip my bike to poach parts or have money to buy a kit for this project” I emailed back.

Things were looking grim.

Some time passed and eventually I got a note that said “if we send you a complete would you ride it and say nice things?

I don’t recall exactly what I said in response but it was along the lines of that I’d ride it, but I couldn’t promise nice things to be said.

After all, when this bike was unleashed on the world, I didn’t quite know what to make of it. I would understand its practicality if one lived in a zone of dried creek beds, desert sands, and/or expansive horizons begging for untethered two wheeled adventure, which I do not. I am now, as I always have been, a boy of the forest, and its bountiful ribbons of smooth and seemingly endless singletrack. In my immediate area, expansive horizons (not being watched carefully by The Man) are a rarity indeed, and desert sands don’t exist for hundreds of miles in any direction. That sweet, twisty singletrack however, I have covered.

In time I ended up taking possession of the beast, (in a ‘permanent loan’ type of capacity) and assembled it with the care and attention of the second rate bicycle mechanic I always have been. Making a tweak of a brake rotor here, and doubling up the grease in the headset there, I finally arrived with what is the finished product;
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In my many years of owning bikecycles, and even given my friendship with the dirts who started the company, as well as those currently in its employ, I’ve never owned a Surly before, so it stands to reason that after all is said and done, I should be in possession of one, that if were a person, would be a professional wrestler casting a suspicious eye towards my particular brand of whimsy.

As I was riding it, one passage came to mind tipping a hat to your standard run of the mill mountain bike review that went something like this-

The Surly Krampus handles like it was on rails… If said rails were made of cheese brauts and Black Label.

This is not your mother’s nimble race whip, nor is it your father’s fat bike. Strangely, it’s something in between. Kinda like a vegi burger with bacon, and riding it was something of a brand new experience. Items to note, the bars are about twenty five feet wider than any bar on any bicycle I’ve ever touched, let alone ridden. Why, they’re so wide that when I took an obligatory shop of my beloved Ergon Oakley 3s, the opposite grip is beyond my camera’s depth of focus;
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I mean, I guess if that’s such a thing. My high school photography classes were a long time ago.

Doing powerslides through the doorway in my basement will certainly prove to be problematic as well;
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Anyway, and naturally, of the many things what makes the Krampus unique, it’s the big, big tires;
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I would also like to mention that typing that last sentence sent me into at least a five minute trance thinking about the old Honeycomb theme song;

The upshot at this point is that it really is a ridiculously fun bike to ride. If I had some money to burn, would I willingly go out of my way to buy one? The jury is still out on that, as I’m still in my courting period with it, but things are looking a lot like probably.

We will continue to get to know one another and see how things play out in the coming months.

We might get married, or we might break up for irreconcilable differences. Like, that I’m not enough man for it. Rest assured, all of our ups and downs will be documented here.

Now then, let’s get onto other matters at hand. The delight known as Katy, pictured here, looking fierce as always;
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-made contact at the eleven and a halfth hour of writing this post with a plea;

Hey Stevil!

Could you help me sell some Pegasus kit?

We need to hit some minimums by Monday (the deadline for pre-ordering). Could you post the link to your facebook, or stick it in your gob? I mean, blog.

Yes I can, and I would be happy to. If you’d like to check the kits, and you didn’t click on the above link, please go here.

But Stevil and Katy, how do I know what I’m going to look like in said brand new and utterly badass Pegasus kit?” you might be asking…

Well lucky for you, I did some half assed Photoshop to answer that very query;
Photographer:  Paul Jordan Stylist:  Mary Jordan
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*Man purse, gigantic hair brush, and pink cell phone sold separately.

So there you have it. You know what to do.

Then, Ben from Handsome Bicycles included me in a mass email simply requesting ‘I spread the proverbial word’ about a party they’re co-hosting this evening with Chrome.

Being that I enjoy some form of correspondence or another with such requests, I opted to write an email to myself for him;

Dear Stevil,

Thank you for always (with the exception of that one time) posting the flyers we send you for our events in such a timely fashion. I know that you don’t have to do it and we very much appreciate that you take the time to help out where you can.

Anyway, we’re hosting another event at the Handsome store in downtown Minneapolis this evening, and it would mean a great deal to us if you could help spread the word;
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Thank you very much, you are very good looking, and when we make our first million dollars, half of it will be yours.

Best wishes,
Ben

That Ben is truly a stand up fellow… So if you are going to be in Minneapolis tonight, and are itching for some high fives, the Handsome shop is clearly the place to be.

And speaking of which, but not really, but kinda- there are just a few months until the Interbike Trade Show and Circle Jerk® happens once again in Las Vegas, Nevada and as always, exciting developments are developing.

Besides the fact that my disco ball pants that I ordered for the occasion just arrived, inspired by the jagoff who last year not only called me sexist and reported me to both the Bicycle Retailer as well as The League of American Bicyclists for posting this flyer, I started a brand new campaign;
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Those nipples…

I can tell you two things about this year’s festivities. The first being that is that it won’t be happening at The Double Down again. Unofficially the very first Underbike party occurred there in 1999;
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That was fourteen years ago, and it’s only gone downhill since. Of course back then it was just called ‘The Blue Collar Party’, because it was the three of us involved in Blue Collar Bikes at the time who hosted it, but the point was the same. Then things went south.

Remember five years later when Oakley had their red velvet rope affair there?

The place is dead to me.

Sure, we had a good time last year but even with ample warning, when the bar ran out of beer, I knew it was time to erect my proverbial mast and set sail for new and exciting locations.

The second bit of information is that it probably won’t be happening here either;
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But that part isn’t yet 100% confirmed.

As always, the answers may or may not be found in Google.

Provided you have easy access to your own magic marker.
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11 Responses to “Good gravy, it’s another post.”

  1. Ian Marshall June 14, 2013 at 5:16 am #

    How time flies.

  2. John June 14, 2013 at 5:30 am #

    One of the many ways I know that I’m old: I hear or see Oakley and immediately think “The grip company?” before realizing that now they do eyewear, clothes, bags, shoes, God knows what else, but not grips. (As far as I know, at least.)

  3. hellbelly June 14, 2013 at 5:49 am #

    Great score on the Krampus! When I saw this thing last year I thought it was the first bike in Surly’s line up that echoed their hooliganism efforts of old. No offense to their legions of adventure, fat-bike, randonneuring fans, but I missed the vibe of the original 1X1 and the Instigator (which I still own). Go ride and get nuts. Even as much as generally despise 29er’s (except the Kona Honzo), I want to check one of these out. Oh, wide bars…I will not wax poetically about their better control, blah, yada, etc. Instead, think of them as more leisurely, laid back and cruiserific for your forest shenanigans.

  4. Velorambling June 14, 2013 at 6:20 am #

    All Hail The Black Marker Except you used red in the info graphic.

  5. cary June 14, 2013 at 6:23 am #

    needs more Corn Dogs!

  6. Double D All-Time June 14, 2013 at 9:03 am #

    Oakley 3’s? Honeycomb commercials? I just stepped into a “mentail” time warp. What’s next? Skyway Tuffs and Count Chocula? Yes, please.

    • El Gecko June 14, 2013 at 10:06 am #

      I’ve got Tuffs on my Surly. No joke.

  7. tommy tippy cup June 14, 2013 at 9:27 am #

    What the last guy said!! Oakleys and Honey Comb…Awesome!!

  8. Tman June 14, 2013 at 9:33 am #

    Thanks for hosting that first one, it was an oasis in a sea of corp. mediocrity. I have a blurry remembrance of a cab ride outta there with one of those Surly freak whom I call a friend and a guy that rhymes with Swirl.

  9. misanthrosteve June 14, 2013 at 7:15 pm #

    I would consider being snitched to BRAIN or League of American Bicyclists a sign that you’re doing things the way that they should be done. Ever forward Stevil.

  10. Nived June 15, 2013 at 5:40 am #

    I enjoyed watching Geno get after people for having beer in the parking lot,, Then the Bouncers got after the parkinglotpunks,, Pretty sure that my ears are still ringing.