When I’m alone, I’m the handsomest one in the room.

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By the way, in case you hadn’t yet gotten the memo, stock photos are the new false reality.

That’s another way of saying that today’s post will be all about me, and probably mostly all not true.

Good morning to the three of you and welcome back for another episode of short attention span theatre. On deck today we have a few very important matters to address, the most of which are my new glasses;
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I bought them on Friday in preparation for the art show I was hosting that evening. When my co-conspirator Paul said the glasses made me look like a guy who knew some stuff that he’d want to know, I knew they were a success.

Anyway, on Friday evening we converged upon the gallery to rub elbows and make fancy-pants art chitchat;
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As the evening wound down however, what made itself clear to be the most important directive was to take photos of other people wearing my awesome new glasses;
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It was as if they were made in a factory in Heaven by God Herself.

Waking up on Saturday feeling a bit worse for wear, I had to pull myself together by the crack of 1:00 to make it to Marin for the newest in the Meet Your Maker bikecycle ride series;
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There promised to be camping, and riding, and friends, and beer drinking, and hijinx, all of which I am very much fond of.

Upon my arrival, who should be the first I lay my eyes upon but this guy;
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That of course is Chris Chance hisownself, and among all of the makers, the nineteen year old bike nerd in me was happiest to see him.

Anyway, Mark and his crew from Paragon Machine works put this shebang on, and as folks prepared to ride the bikes;
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he made his announcement;
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The first to depart were the fast people. The second to depart were the fast people who like to stop occasionally to drink beer and throw rocks and stuff. That was my group, and we did all of those things;
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But then in the midst of all our reindeer games, I came across evidence that someone had thrown an outlaw bike event (not shown are one section that said ‘Pedal Harder’ and ‘Almost There’ as well as a finish line, which was what tipped me of that is was done by bike riders). Ordinarily this sort of thing wouldn’t phase me, but the assholes in question not only spraypainted the road in this state park, they apparently have no concept of history;
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I’m dumbfounded.

But it would seem that based on their geographic location, and segments, I have found the culprits right here;
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It’s hard for me to believe that anybody is really this stupid, but based on like, everything, it’s clear that they are.

Anyone who has ridden at China Camp knows it’s an amazing place, and provides what’s arguably the largest concentration of legal singletrack in the entire Bay Area, so it’s is hugely disappointing to see that cyclists are the ones behind what amounts to plain old vandalism.

I’ve been in touch with Friends Of China Camp (who do amazing work, by the way), and offered my services to help clean it up, because whether the offenders believe it or not, in the eyes of The Man, their selfish act makes us all look bad.

Anyhoo, back on track… We continued our ride back to camp where others had already arrived and there we stayed until falling into eventual slumber;
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Being one who wakes up with the roosters, (when, or if I sleep at all), meant a dawn patrol to watch the sun rise;
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And so it was, as well as will continue to be- Until everyone else awoke, in my solitude I remain(ed) the most handsomest.
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13 Responses to “When I’m alone, I’m the handsomest one in the room.”

  1. Hurl Eversonic October 6, 2014 at 5:29 am #

    Yeah! Church of Misery! Looks like your prediction of all the beautiful people showing up to the art jam came true. Also, maybe some of these SS dinks work with that guy from Sony from wayback?

  2. Largo October 6, 2014 at 5:51 am #

    And hence the term Stravassholes.
    However, very cool to see Yo Eddy’s pa. Whilst working at the only bike shop in my home town, an older couple walked in and proceeded to check out our dismay of fancy new Ritcheys,Rocky Mountains and Miyatas.
    Being the friendly sort, I spent some time chatting and discovered they were from Massachusetts. “Our son makes mountain bikes too” they said. “Really” says I, what brand? “Fat Chance, have you heard of them”?
    Makes me feel good all over.

  3. isabella October 6, 2014 at 6:33 am #

    next time, i’m riding with the crew that stops and throws rocks and stuff

  4. kimbrolio October 6, 2014 at 6:57 am #

    Whoa, is that Tommy Guerrero?

    • Stevil October 6, 2014 at 7:31 am #

      The rollerboarder? Yeah, he lurks from time to time.

  5. Bobo Clown October 6, 2014 at 7:02 am #

    SS? Seriously??? WTF???? So totally beyond lame!!!! Thanks for calling these losers out. Like you, I am beyond tired of idiots making a mess of public lands and giving law-abiding cyclists a bad rap.

  6. Aden October 6, 2014 at 10:31 am #

    love that last picture at night with the moon looming over the campfire! Also, I’m glad that the opening went well. Will your art be up all month?

    • Stevil October 8, 2014 at 10:41 am #

      It will indeed be.

  7. trama October 6, 2014 at 10:53 am #

    googol glass might have a chance, if they were so formed

  8. Double D All-Time October 6, 2014 at 2:03 pm #

    Guerrero. Living Dirt.

  9. Samsquanch Gingerbeard October 6, 2014 at 5:56 pm #

    Sweet pics. Sharp as a tack and they corroborate your story pretty well. Dig it.

  10. Jman October 6, 2014 at 8:46 pm #

    People…while I’m sure no one here could possibly understand the challenges and adversity faced by those going through life with a Small Scrotum, it remains unclear why anyone would want to call attention to it by such a public display..( I suppose it does however explain the whole strava team thing).

  11. Brian October 7, 2014 at 4:47 pm #

    I love that Chris Chance is out of hiding. My Yo Eddy, though retired, is hanging on my wall. The finest piece of art I own.
    As for sharing your glasses, welcome to the pink eye club.