Phoning it in.


Because it’s the end of the year, I spent most of yesterday working on my model, and then had Bernie’s closing last night;

I didn’t have much time to write a proper post. Instead, just like everybody does, I will conclude 2016 with a selection of what I feel to be the years most whatever offerings from the AHTBM Instant Graham.

Can you taste the excitement?

Starting somewhere in the middle, we have the following;

Held down a little masher with @squidbikes and @norcalcx today. No baby animals were injured, but a lot of strawberry martinis were.

A photo posted by Stevil Kinevil (@allhailtheblackmarket) on

Sneaky.

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To do list: Hail Satan. #PlaneTimeKiller

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Steve Albini, watching cat videos.

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You know why Sophie’s pants are all worn out like that? Because she listens to a lot of Iron Maiden. (‘Iron Maiden’, and ‘Killers’ naturally, because she knows the only real Maiden albums are the ones on which Paul Di’Anno sang), and when listening to a song like ‘Running Free’, how are you not going to air drum the shit out of your thighs in time with Clive Burr’s rhythmic fury? Seriously. If you disagree, then you probably think Van Halen existed after 1984, both the album and the year. Anyway, she and Sean from @vynlbikes came over yesterday and I have some photos of a couple of their whips up on the AHTBM website today. They’ll make you feel pretty good. Not as good as the timeless badassness of ‘Wrathchild’, but pretty good nonetheless.

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My favorite thing in the garden. #CatNerd

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Non-selfies are the new selfies.

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“Sande gets sideways at Sandy”. Digital photo, 2016. $12,000

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“You know what would be sick? A little trail right next to the trail.” Nope. Not on my watch. #KeepSingletrackSingle

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Slo-mo knife thrö. That little bug almost got waxed, but not on purpose.

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Happy Go Skateboarding Day. May all your shadows look like a scared kitten wearing a Magneto helmet and riding two hoverboards.

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Step eleven in reclaiming one’s sanity- Find a quiet place where you can be alone and focus on your pulse. Think about what it means to be alive and while all of the banal bullshit of the day to day doesn’t matter, it still does, because that’s a part of being a human animal. Think about the way your dog or cat smells, or the sound of your kid’s voice. Think about the last conversation you had with somebody you loved before they died. Talk to your parents, or your grandparents. Breathe deeply, and make a commitment to be a better person. Or to eat more bacon. Or to make a tape recording of all of your farts for a year. Or whatever. I don’t give a shit. It’s your life. Reclaim your sanity how you gotta.

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Never stop jumping fences… Or, you know… Whatever you have to do to get to the other side.

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Two life forces.

A photo posted by Stevil Kinevil (@allhailtheblackmarket) on

A much better photo of these two fellas from this past Sunday. When I was a wee lad of seventeen, they epitomized Northern California skateboarding. They came from two different regions, and had two different styles, but to my mind, were cut from a very similar cloth. Despite the aforementioned slam on the beer bottle, resulting in an ass-sized hematoma the size of my ass, I’m still flying high from getting to spend the afternoon goofing around with two individuals who have helped inspire me to charge for well over half of my existence on this blue marble. And to think- all of the fun was had in an overlooked, and otherwise ignored corner of a parking lot. Aside from maybe stumbling across an abandoned briefcase full of money, it couldn’t have been a better day. #Thankyouskateboarding #RickyWinsor

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Today’s Hairnet Ride was kind of a drag.

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Dunno. Rocket played. I danced my ass off. It’s 5:00 in the morning and my ears are ringing. The potion is a venom.

A photo posted by Stevil Kinevil (@allhailtheblackmarket) on

Sometimes in order to get a fairly decent action shot, you gotta get yourself run over.

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When I was twenty three I took my last $500.00 and boarded an October flight to Frankfurt, Germany. For three months I toured skateparks around Europe, looked at art, drew in my sketchbook, and spent a fair share of my time there sleeping in bushes, or on trains. Eventually, as I made a pilgrimage to Egon Schiele’s hometown of Tulln, Austria, I spent a day in Innsbruck. Wandering around aimlessly, I stopped into a shop to steal a toothbrush, and that’s where I came across this postcard of a painting called ‘Aquarell’ by Horst Janssen. I bought the card, stole the toothbrush, and realized I’d tracked dog shit into the store. One day I will return to Innsbruck and make amends for my youthful transgressions. Also, I expect this image to get flagged within minutes for a host of reasons, but mostly because art is scary.

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I’m the melancholic lord of torment, the remains of a ruined soul, evil presence from an empire’s doom.

A photo posted by Stevil Kinevil (@allhailtheblackmarket) on


Which pretty much brings us to today;

So there we have a random visual and in some instances, written smattering of a few ingredients that for me anyway, helped make 2016 not as terrible as 2015 was.

That said, I’m more than a bit freaked out by the immediate future. I loathe what is happening in our government and by extension across the world both politically, socially, and environmentally with every fiber of my being, but as I’ve declared a number of times in recent days, and a thing which I think is worth repeating, is I have to remain hopeful, because without that, I have nothing.

Here’s to 2016’s conclusion, and to what are hopefully brighter and more promising days ahead.

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6 Responses to “Phoning it in.”

  1. Largo December 23, 2016 at 8:54 am #

    Technically, what you gashed your leg on is known as a Robar coupling.
    Now you can rest easy.

  2. pedalman December 23, 2016 at 9:46 am #

    painted fan blade bolts! I can see I’m in for another trouncing.

  3. Rob December 24, 2016 at 7:59 am #

    The card Aquarell

  4. Nevid December 27, 2016 at 4:02 pm #

    Thanks for all the Memories

  5. meli December 27, 2016 at 10:59 pm #

    nice balance to evil world, instaevil. love th e fotos.

  6. Momsue January 6, 2017 at 8:18 am #

    Adore the photo of my grandcat!