“Kickboxing. Sport of the future.” -Lloyd Dobler

Before I get into anything, I feel the need to offer a standing apology to Boulder for my years of harassment for taking cyclocross too seriously. As a reader pointed out, we here in the Bay Area apparently have raised the importance of the mundane to a whole new level of absurdity.
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Photo by Janna Brayman Krawczyk


(The second photo from the article I was unable to obtain rights to, however I feel as though it is fashion statement that will certainly be all the rage this year in Portland.)
Certainly the streets will run red with blood of the fallen over this debate, and I can only hope that in the end, the righteous will stand tall in victory.
Or at the very least, wobble cautiously on their own two wheels.
Secondly, in news from the home front, let me remind you that I have a new shipment of cycling caps in, as well as a slew of other goods that you should buy up there in the All Hail The Black Market market;
*Alert* My store has been hacked and it appears as though money has been directed to some douchebag’s account. (A different douchebag than me.) For the time being, hold off on any transactions. Or just do some math and Pay Pal money directly to stevil@allhailtheblackmarket.com. Crap.
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Just ask yourself. W.W.D.V.D?
On other fronts, back in Febuary, there was a post over there on Drunk Cyclist that continues to make me laugh.
No wonder they are one of the top fifty most most influential bicycle related web logs.
From ace photog Luke, I got a link to an assortment of shots taken at a recent dirt jump freak-out at Road 34;
“Stevil!
Marinate on these honey hams for your eyeballs.
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Photos I shot at last Saturday’s booze infested Road 34 JumpJam in Ft. Collins, CO. Feel free to use them & abuse them however you like.
Keep it sexy,
Puke
ps: love your site”

That is mighty nice of Luke to send the fruits of his labor for us to enjoy. I also appreciate that his subject matter is willing to throw themselves around as they do. It hurts my body just looking at it.
Speaking of which, as I said previously, I had the pleasure of getting out on a long and meandering road spin with a few friends this past weekend. One of the folks who was rolling with us was a young gun who races in amongst the NorCal High School League. Years ago, when I was younger, and the kids in the league were less skilled, I had no problem ever turning the screws on them while either in the heat of parallel competition, or on a casual ride. These days however, as with most people I find myself riding with, they have only gotten faster and stronger, while I on the other hand, stand desperately clinging to any level of fitness possible. Well, Saturday Alex paid me the ultimate complement when he said something to the effect of “you’re pretty strong for an old guy.”
Kids really do say the damnedest things, but I’ll take what I can get and I thank him for the accolades.
For Alex and his observations, I offer this blast from the past;

Now as long as we are still on the topic and their questionable sanity, what should I get but a correspondence from George;
“At the fruita 18 hr race in duo. Stoked broke and sore. Hope your weekend kicked ass too! G”
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Are you hungry like I’m hungry?
Everybody’s favorite documentarian of the End Times Suckapants, has sent on some recent shots from
Slaughterama, that if you don’t have a penchant for, perhaps a pulse check is in order;
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From such an event, I highly doubt that I would emerge with either my soul or my virginity intact.
Now, just because, how about a photo of GSD?
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Photo possibly by Miki Vuckovich, but I’m not positive. Either him or J. Grant Brittain. My apologies to the photographer.
It was rumored that his moniker stood for ‘Garry Sleeps (in a) Ditch.
Now in closing, I have to offer the following high five for one of my esteemed advertisers, Mr. Christopher Igleheart and throw up an image of some of his beautiful (and naked) segmented forks;
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For those of you who might be too young to remember, these forks were synonymous with the cultish Fat Chance bicycle company, and continue to be beloved by anyone who’s ever thrown a leg over a steel mountain bike.
And remember, spending time in a metal shop bare foot should be left to the professionals.
Or as the case may be, the profhessianals.
As I pull the plug on today’s post, I ask.. No.. I beg you. Whether you choose training wheels, or to simply stride, we are all of one singular family. We can, and should ‘just get along’.
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14 Responses to ““Kickboxing. Sport of the future.” -Lloyd Dobler”

  1. Tom May 12, 2010 at 7:34 am #

    As a Boulderite (and AHTBM team member) and I fully support all your comments about Boulder. Most take themselves WAY to seriously.

  2. defoliant May 12, 2010 at 7:37 am #

    I surprised my kid by taking her to the park after removing both training wheels and pedals. Only mildly traumatic. Good thing Mom was nowhere around.
    The lead photo of the tyke race must be in my stomping grounds, what with the Penn EZ-up and all.

  3. MM May 12, 2010 at 7:44 am #

    Hey man, don’t laugh at those balance bikes. My 5 year old is ripping around on his pedal bike now and NEVER rode a day w/training wheels. The barely 3 year old rode w/o training wheels a week before he was 3! They work well…

  4. Jason May 12, 2010 at 10:21 am #

    Nothing better than a wiener sandwich.

  5. reverend dick May 12, 2010 at 12:27 pm #

    With 3 kids under my feet, and a hugely inflated sense of personal righteousness- I feel qualified to lay this issue to rest.
    Split the difference (and save yo scrilla) by taking the training wheels and the pedals off your kids’ 12′, slam the seat, and turn them loose for 2 days. Reinstall the pedals, crack a beer and deal with one or six falls while they relearn the brake and they’re golden.
    Done.

  6. chunksworth May 12, 2010 at 1:11 pm #

    The Independent Republic of Boulder can eat a wiener sandwich if you now what I’m saying.

  7. Grant Brittain May 12, 2010 at 2:31 pm #

    GSD at Shell Bowl was shot by yours truly, thanks!

  8. Nathan May 12, 2010 at 5:14 pm #

    Yes grant brittain commented on your blog. If your not pumped I am.

  9. Tman May 12, 2010 at 5:24 pm #

    My motto is TRAINING WHEELS SUCK! Kinda like the adults that buy a Harley or Gold wing and add the “strap on” T-wheels!
    LilT is ripping on his Strider at 3. Of course I may be biased, the founder is a pal and I have been known to schlep them myself 😉
    Don’t forget teh old Mpls drunken adult Strider race that I believe the Alt put on? It was covered in the dark ages back at HTATBL.

  10. lauren May 12, 2010 at 5:48 pm #

    how long did it take you to put all those bars across the eyes of all those non smiling children.

  11. Stevil May 12, 2010 at 6:58 pm #

    Nathan,
    ‘Pumped’ doesn’t even begin to describe it. Thank you Mr. Brittain. Thank you.

  12. Doctor Denver May 12, 2010 at 7:59 pm #

    I have a bunch of friends that live in Boulder. I think I am the only one that doesn’t green up before and during every ride. Maybe I’m the serious one. I’m certainly not the fastest. Bunch of stony, awesome, biker assholes.

  13. reeed May 13, 2010 at 3:57 am #

    hannah-o and alex-o! look out world!

  14. Levi Johnston May 13, 2010 at 8:35 pm #

    I almost commented yesterday, but I grew bashful. With a little liquid courage, I add this unhelpful comment: GSD was KING, even if his repertoire consisted of nothing but bonelesses and sweepers (with a T-shit sleeve, towel on his head). Fucking punk!
    Almost as punk as the Big Boys Zorlac deck.