The world doesn’t stop spinning for nothin’.

Just ’cause I have myself a special day full of dancing, dining, and profuse sweating, I can’t assume that everyone else on this blue marble gives a care, and for that I don’t blame them. However, being that this is my website, I get to write about pretty much whatever the hell I want, and right now, I’d like to talk about my recent wedding function.

If I were to describe it, I would probably take the route that I usually do, which as you know would be one of vagueness.

My bride was a picture of grace and beauty, while I was a picture of a train wreck.

She handled herself with sophistication and class, while I was a bumbling idiot. Though that being said, I wore a suit for what probably was the fourth or fifth time in my life, and was shocked by how much it felt like that which I would assume to be a straight jacket.

“Keep your knees bent”, I kept reminding myself.
Heaven forbid I would be one of those grooms on America’s Funniest Home Videos who blacks out mid-sentence, only to fold like a book and grind their faces down the slacked legs of the ceremony’s officiant. The walls were closing in, I was finding it hard to breathe, and beads of sweat trickled down my back, which only made me that much more aware of how uncomfortable I was. You see, I loathe weddings. I always have. From the time I was a young child I had no use for them, and over the course of my life, have steered a wide berth around anything even closely resembling one.

That’s not to say that every wedding I’ve ever attended was a miserable experience, but I would be lying if I said that any of them were the first place I would have picked to be.
“So why would you do this to yourself?” you might be asking and the answer to that I suppose, would be because I love that girl. That is how I knew this to be the real thing, because there has hardly been a woman in my life that I would even consider attending a wedding with as an observer, let alone as the participant. I feel like I have grown up a little bit these last few weeks, which of course inspires me to want to get drunk and go running down the street with no pants on more than ever.

…Which actually reminds me. Of the handful or so wedding speeches that were delivered by my friends (including one by my own father), I think a solid two thirds of them involved me being arrested, drunk, or both.

I kept my head just slightly turned from my new mother and father in law the entire time.

Anyhoo, before the wedding kicked off, I linked up with Mr. and Mrs. Pirata Magnifico, GenO, and a long lost friend named Dave Devlin.

This was noteworthy to me, because he and I had been good friends for a long time, and for some reason the bottom just kinda fell out of it.
There was possibly a single misunderstanding and a few lapses in communication, and five years later we still weren’t talking.

Notifying me that he would like to go on the ride with us, I met up with him on the morning in question on a socked in and rainy Golden Gate Bridge.
As we rode together for the first time in years, we had our issues sorted in less than 300 yards.

The resolution made a very important day in my life just that much more so.

From the North side of the bridge the five of us ascended into the clouds and spent the next few hours riding around the gravely fire roads and trails of the Marin Headlands;
Mrs. Pirata Magnifico forgot her helmet, but it was ok, because we all know that nothing bad ever happens to the beautiful people;
We all stopped from the rad getting just long enough to stand in the rain and get a photo taken;
And then we continued;
It was a great way to kick off an amazing day, but at this stage in the game you are probably falling asleep in your soup, so we will move on to more pressing matters.
Back when I was in Vegas for what at that stage in the game was the last Interbike to be held there (if you haven’t heard, a switcheroo took place and it’s actually going back there again next year) I met a young woman outside of the Ceasar’s Palace. I was quietly enjoying a cocktail with friends and she was running around in circles, going totally bananas and expending more energy in that single moment than I had to burn over the entire weekend. Anyway, she eventually approached me and introduced herself. It seems as though she is the brains and brawn behind a Chicago-based project called Thought You Knew.

You see, she’s in the process of making a calendar featuring some sassy local women folk who are not only not hard on the eyes, but also happen to be integral members of the Chicago area bike scene.

As Ms. Alexis expressed to me, “basically TyK is a bunch of chicks sick of being judged by the boys. We got all uppity and did a calendar, then decided to have it actually benefit something, so 100% of sales go to The Chicago Women’s Health Center.”
So dig it.. If you have a bit of dough to throw down for a calendar chock-full of babes, or better yet, would like to attend the November 19th release party at The Coop in Chi-Town, get on the good foot and sleep well knowing you are supporting an amazing cause.

In hind sight, this is the third pin up calendar I’ve plugged over the years and the third calendar release party I am forced to miss do to my geographic proximity.
Despite the fact that I’m a married man now, the thought of that still makes my heart hurt a bit.

Jeff from The Bike Jerks gave me a shout toward the end of last week with a request to throw up a flyer for a throw down occurring directly;
Don’t forget.. Moneyapolis is the place.

In closing, I would like to post an email I’ve been sitting on for a spell from Josh of the Geekhouse Cross Team;

“Hey Stevil,
Greetings from MA. After our fun filled evening at Night Weasels we here at Geekhouse Racing want to say thanks and hope to see more of the AHTBM out this way.
I have attached a team pic from the Gloucester Grand Prix as well as one of our very own “Big Air” Bob Morgan rocking some pretty sweet socks;
Keep on S(p)ining,

I know it might seem fairly insignificant to some folks to simply present someone wearing a pair of the socks I made, but look at it like this- Not only did they throw some hard earned cash down, but they decided to wear them with the most garish kit this side of Liberace’s lounge wear, and then follow up by sending me an email documenting the whole thing.

As I stated, it might seem silly to some, but it means a great deal to me and I thank Josh, Bob and the entire Geekhouse team for their efforts.
Also before I forget, and while we’re on the subject, I’ve been on the horn with Michael from Sock Guy, and I’m just a short span away from having a new style of foot bags that I am very excited about. I can’t tell you any details, but I can tell you that they match.

Or at least they will until you loose one.

With that I bid you farewell until Friday. For my part, I’m gonna do something that inspires my bride to hit me with a rolling pin;
1974 002.jpg
After all, that’s what wedded bliss is all about.

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Leave a Reply

22 Responses to “The world doesn’t stop spinning for nothin’.”

  1. Teamfubar October 27, 2010 at 4:58 am #

    Congrats on the wedded bliss Stevil.
    On our group ride on Sunday, one of the women on the ride about shit when I told her I’ve been married for 17 years. I hope you get to have the same experience someday.

  2. bRado1 October 27, 2010 at 5:07 am #

    Congrats to you both. cue the “electronic” sound effects

  3. Troy B. October 27, 2010 at 5:47 am #

    Well a very happy and warm Congratulations to your both Mr. Stevil! Welcome to the other side. May your marriage be filled with love, humor, romance, most of all understanding and when necessary forgiveness. May your joy last forever 🙂

  4. Sov October 27, 2010 at 6:55 am #

    Why does Gene always wear them tights?

  5. The Green Mamba October 27, 2010 at 7:05 am #

    Mozel Tov! I’ll put the his and hers towel set in the mail without delay.

  6. kurtz October 27, 2010 at 8:17 am #


  7. 333 October 27, 2010 at 9:58 am #

    Na zdaroviya! AHTBM.

  8. irishpunk59 October 27, 2010 at 10:33 am #

    congrats as well and hey I keep forgetting that you are such a dead ringer for Magnum PI would also maybe like to know that the Boy and meself attempted to ruin the local cross race not one hotshot racer accepted a barley pop hand up and none seemed to like the airhorn and oh yes jumpsuits were worn

  9. scottyp October 27, 2010 at 11:23 am #

    Well Done!
    I am happy for the two of you! and because of your birthday party 2 years ago Laurel and i will be on those same steps soon, we will tell the parents this afternoon. so thank you.
    P.S. posting Cross photos on flickr again, tell a friend.

  10. cary October 27, 2010 at 12:13 pm #

    I’m sitting here eating a few veggie hot dogs reading your “wedding post” thinking back on how long I’ve been following you like a stalker on a school yard. First I’d like to say, I’d get more enjoyment out of these veggie hot dogs if I were to shove each one up my ass rather than down my throat. At first I thought it would be funny just to write that but now that I have actually bitten into one I really mean it. I’m going to stick one in my butt.
    Second, I remember working in a bike shop in 04/05 and stumbling upon the launch of HTATBL and thus following you and it until life stepped in and made you take the plunge into self awesomeness. Along the way I got a look at the life of ‘Stevil’, not just the caricature of you but you. I’m a smart fuck and could read between the lines. From year 35 to 40 I felt your pain, pleasure, triumph, doubt and love. And got to meet your love. This friendship is only vicarious, a 21 century admiration on line yet as strong as if we live down the street from each other. I’d let you take a bullet for me.
    I know a lot about the human movement through existence. Most of it learned in just the last 9 months and I think you’d agree that life is better when shared. Yet best when shared with someone that looks just like that chick on TJ Hooker….no wait I was going somewhere else with this but something crossed my mind. Umm, lost my train of thought, ummm, oh yeah. You got the girl now don’t fuck it up! No that’s not it, wait it’s coming to me. This is it,; congratulations, you deserve her, you’re a good man.

  11. Stevil October 27, 2010 at 12:29 pm #

    I just wrote this response to Cary, but I now feel the need to share it publicly as well.
    This rivals some of the speeches that were given by people who have known me for years and years and years. Looking back on the last five years, I am totally blown away by the support and the friendships that have developed over my time at the virtual helm. On the outset, I never thought it could be possible, but now in hindsight, realize that not only is it possible, but it’s more real than anything I’ve ever experienced.
    I offer my most humble thanks and genuine appreciation to the folks who have dug in and stuck it out with me on this ride. Up until the ‘Bummer Life’ happened, I lived my life as a closed book, and somewhere along the way, it got cracked wide open, and made glaringly public. My fear was that it would and could easily be used against me. The trust and friendship that has been shown to me has proven that those fears were unfounded.
    To all of the readership, friends and strangers alike, thank you for your support and true kindness that has been and continues to be shown to me.
    It’s worth more to me than I could ever express.

  12. Big J. October 27, 2010 at 1:15 pm #

    Congrats. Hold on to the ride with both hands. It gets twisty with alot bumps that will give you butterflys in your stomach. Just settle it down with the suds that your so good at praising.

  13. Ashley October 27, 2010 at 3:34 pm #

    A day I thought I would never see, so incredibly happy for you guys! And So happy you re-connected with Devlin, haven’t thought about him in eons.

  14. Patbastard October 27, 2010 at 6:55 pm #

    welcome to a rather enjoyable slow death, a better tax break, and a constant reminder that you are a lucky man. Ugly as hell, but lucky.
    Wish you two all the best.
    So, by now she’s seen your N.A.M.B.L.A. membership card?

  15. devin October 27, 2010 at 8:12 pm #

    Congrats on the nuptials enjoy the bliss…

  16. yam October 27, 2010 at 8:51 pm #

    For you:
    A wedding dance.

  17. Cyclotourist October 27, 2010 at 9:29 pm #

    Congrats, StEvil! Marriage is great. I’m 18 years into it and don’t regret it at all. Parenting on the other hand…
    I can’t top anything Cary wrote, so will say this: Order some wool socks!

  18. Tim Jackson October 27, 2010 at 9:56 pm #

    Dude, I’m gonna forever kick myself for not being able to make it to the Bachelor ride you were so kind enough to invite me to. I sure as hell wish I coulda made it.
    Sounds as though the rad was in fact gotten- and gotten good. Wish I coulda helped with the gettin’.
    I am super happy for you and the new Missus. She’s landed herself one fine furry filly. Hopefully she’s not gonna grow tired of your human Chia Pet qualities- word to the wise; don’t leave fur trimmings in the sink… they don’t seem to like that much.
    I’ll have to find a way to get there or get the two of you here so that a dinner can be eaten and enjoyed in honor of said nuptials.
    Welcome to my hell… I mean paradise of course.

  19. Snackey October 28, 2010 at 5:59 am #

    Arybody’s got their own way a showing they love a gurl. Congrats!

  20. Stevil's mom October 28, 2010 at 9:30 am #

    Just home from all of the Bay Area Excitement; what fun! Your marriage to the beautiful, gracious Demonika is surely one of Life’s highlights for us.
    Dad joins me in sending much love to you both. Be happy and bask in the glow forever!

  21. Jenny Oh October 28, 2010 at 9:36 pm #

    Congrats, dude – and wow, your parental units are the coolest! What a sweet message from Stevil’s Mom.

  22. Howard WIlliams October 29, 2010 at 11:02 am #

    Getting married has been the best thing I have ever done for myself. Since we appear to be cut from the same cloth in so many other ways, I assume that this will be true for you also.