These are the hands that heal.

Today I am going to start off with a bit of an ode, and an offering of thanks to someone who has recently come into my life. Rest assured, I will be ‘sticking to bikes‘ in a moment.

I have, like most folks who have lead a rough and tumble relationship with their bodies, long had trials and tribulations with the functionality mine. Due to years of wear and tear and a general disregard for sustainable living, I have an ever increasing awareness of the resulting aches and pains. For every one of those times I marveled at the fact that slamming from coping to the flat bottom of a half pipe didn’t hurt, or I was able to walk away from a weekend of flinging my bike and body around with reckless abandon, I am experiencing a unique and specific pain now.

Most recently (well, last August) I awoke to find that I was unable to raise my right arm above much higher than my shoulder, which made high fives of any sort an impossibility. After an array of therapy involving Pilates, chiropractic treatments, acupuncture, Ostiopathy, and pain killers, I still found myself dealing with a nagging grief which I couldn’t shake.

It finally was when speaking with my friend Joe about the matter that he referred me to a chiropractor named Laurie Klein, and her Oakland based practice Back In Balance.

I approached Laurie with reservations because I have had a few bad experiences with chiropractors. Most notably when one I saw told me due to a fractured spinal process that I should give up riding bikes altogether. Also because the sound my neck makes when it gets cracked makes me want to throw up. However besides being an accomplished chiropractor, Dr. Klein also practices what is called A.R.T, which stands for ‘Active Release Technique’. My times spent on her table have been painful ones, and on this point I can’t lie, but out of desperation I had to put my trust in her. She is a spitfire of a human being who I have no doubt could whoop my ass in a bar fight if push came to shove, but I relented and allowed the injured ball of raw clay that I am to be at her mercy. In just three sessions she pried me out of the grasp of injury, and in doing so, gave me a new lease.

I enjoy both her company and the therapeutic agony which she provides. If you happen to find yourself with a hitch in your giddey-up, and might could use some of the artistry which Dr. Klein so capably can provide, give her office a call and prepare yourself for some wellness.

A thing that might not necessarily make you feel better, so much as make you look better is the oft mentioned AHTBM Smokey and The Bandit replica jersey, the order window for which closes today;

If you don’t want objects of your affection throwing themselves at your feet, I can’t hold it against you.

If the idea of good fortune befalling you at every corner doesn’t interest you, that’s your business.

However if you feel like you could handle emoting pure desire from the very second you threw it on, then you at least would be in good company;

Photo of Souphorse courtesy Carson Blume.

Order now, or forever hold your pieces.

Moving onto other stuff kinda, Ben from Handsome Cycles got in touch with a deal that they have going with everyone’s friends to the North (or South if you’re in BC, or East if you’re in the rest of Amerkuh, or West if you are in the Pacific Ocean), Portland Design Works, which he presented for us like so;

“We got a killer promo going with PDW for Bike to Work month. Buy a Devil complete from either Handsome or a Handsome dealer and get free PDW Whisky Grips and Cufflink. At this price you can’t afford not to invest.”

Personally I haven’t used the Whisky Grips, (though I frequently grip some whisky) and I rarely wear pants, so I can’t say whether or not those items are the business, But I know that neither PDW or Handsome are no slouches when it comes to conceiving and actualizing, and this is a screaming deal that can’t be beat with a bat.

Speaking of things that are Handsome, have I mentioned that we have collaborated on a limited edition version of their skid-worthy Shopbike?

These come in 16″ for smaller folks, 18″ for middle sized folks, and 20″ for more stretched out folks, and when dressed up with an array of spare parts found in your collection, looks something like this;

The stock version and the AHTBM version are identical with the exception that the latter has a back and dark grey paint scheme, and will come with an array of decals with which you can dress your baby up however you please. And speaking of which, I made my personal bike dirt-worthy. On yours you can throw slicks, or drop bars, or a banana seat, or a gallon of ice cream. The world is your oyster… We’re just here to give you the jackhammer with which to open it.

Say, did you know that the 2012 NACCCs are beginning this coming Thursday and will stretch through the entire weekend?

It’s true. They are. Sean even sent an email about it;

“Hey Stevil, were having a bike messenger race in RIchmond VA on memorial day weekend. Love it or hate it its happening and we’ve put a lot of work into throwing a good time and organizing very exciting pissing contest for everyone. The NACCCs have been many places but never at the Capital of the Confederacy and we know how to party;
I would really appreciate it as a long time reader of your words if you would pimp this flyer on your website. Take Care!
-Sean McCormick”

That Sean is a good egg, and I suspect that their considerable efforts will pay off this weekend. If you happen to reside in the area, swing through and get in on some action. Worse case scenario is you’ll pass out and somebody will ride you home on their cargo bike.

From the mean streets to the wide open spaces, we will now span time and space, and get a mention from Chopper for an opportunity for some lucky soul to go to the wilds of Idaho and engage in some rad getting.

Here is what I have to say about this…

Everyone out there has a syndrome or disorder, one of the worst of which is the Singletrack Deficit Disorder. Worse than erectile dysfunction even worse than hemorrhoids, STDD can be down right serious if left untreated. Fortunately, there is a cure. Which is why we here in Sun Valley have offered up a limited supply of the “Sun Valley Singletrack Remedy”.

Watch the video, go to the website, and enter to win “The Remedy”, killer all expenses paid trip to Sun Valley to ride bikes with us for an entire week.

All you need to do is tell us about one of your friends who has STDD and we will cure you both and bring both of you here. When your friend wins, you win. You both get cured.

Thanks Stevil, the way I see this is you get a ton of nomimations for you and one of your readers gets to come here with you for a trip of a lifetime…and you can stay at Chez Chopper if you don’t want to stay at the resort. I have a hot tub and a burro.
See you in July my friend”

So the two options are this-

You vote for me, and I will draw one name out of a hat at random to share this dream date with, or I will draw one name out of a hat at random and send a postcard to you.

Either way, I will be splashing in a creek and spraying beer on people.

In closing a short and sweet PSA from El Gato;


For some reason this site made me think of you- Where The Fuck Should I Go For Drinks?(dot)com.

I don’t know why. But it looks pretty radtarded.

El Gato Fritz”

Now would you look at that?

I wasn’t expecting to learn anything today.

While my hands are far less capable of healing anything or anyone than they are at doing The Hand Thing;
They most certainly can grab a handlebar and direct me to a nearby watering hole, and at least in this circle of derelicts, that in itself is generally considered a form of healing.

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Leave a Reply

6 Responses to “These are the hands that heal.”

  1. Bob C May 21, 2012 at 6:25 am #

    ah huut, ah huut, ah huut, ah huut, ah huut, ah huut….

  2. Loudass, Esq. May 21, 2012 at 12:24 pm #

    There are plenty of places that you can get “active release” in Oakland, and it doesn’t have to be from a chiropractor…

  3. Largo May 21, 2012 at 1:55 pm #

    You mean being in your 40s doesn’t have to hurt???

  4. DB May 21, 2012 at 8:38 pm #

    I am so gonna have ‘hand thing’ nightmares tonight.

  5. Jim May 24, 2012 at 3:00 pm #

    Good on ya for discovering someone doing A.R.T.. Here in Davis the go to is Dr. Michelle Chu ( She took me from limping around on my bad days to pretty much no pain. One of the reviewers on Yelp says, “She also was able to eerily figure out that I mouse with my right hand even though I’m left handed, and that I have hip issues due to tightness in my calves.”
    So yeah, it hurts like hell when someone digs into your I T band and tells you to bend your leg. But oh man is the result so worth it.