High Five Day is the new Hump Day.

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Now that the log that was Monday has been successfully pushed into the abyss and is happily on its way to sea, let us get on to other matters at hand.

Being a simi-profhessianal douchebag bike blogger (same dif), I spend an inordinate amount of time living my life (as opposed to other’s lives- the playboy billionaire being my personal favorite). Aside from life living, I do a whole lot of raking of the internet garden to pull out various little goodies to insert into future posts should I find an appropriate place for them to live.

Well, as it happens, I’ve compiled an array of reasonably good stuff, or if you will, broken toys, with no place to call home. With all of these proverbial orphans on my desktop, my computer looks like a cartoon closet, every time the door of which opens, all manner of clown shoe and bowling pin comes cascading out, knocking me on the head.

In an effort to engage in some cleaning, I’ve opted to make today’s post primarily one of dumpage, starting with the first one and ending with the last.

Kicking things off, I’ll start with a off color joke I heard recently;

The company Vagisil® originally wanted to call its product ‘Pussy Cleaner‘, (sorry Mom) but found that that particular title had already been trademarked by Burt Reynolds’ mustache;
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You’re welcome.

Then I came to find a couple cyclocrosscycling hero shots, much like this one taken by the esteemed Kent Baumgardt;
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First we have number one, taken by Lyne Lamoureux;
photo by Lyne Lamoureux
And then we have number two taken by someone I’m sure, because we’re looking at it. Sadly I can’t give credit, but if the photographer or a friend of the photographer, or a friend of a friend of the photographer is reading these words, make the contact, and I’ll fix things up in a jiffy;
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Though this one’s not of some poor sap burying his head in shame, the following from Marty of Gheto Cx could be considered the calm before the storm;
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No glue, know problems.

Some days you ride the bike, and some days the bike rides you.

On this day however, it’s clear who was riding who;
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And look at that sad sack in the lower left hand corner looking away at the precise moment the rad got got.

At least the goof ball in the hi-viz hat knew what was up and offered a polite golf clap.

Then, I came across this photo shot by Aaron Zwaal, who with this one single image has secured himself in my heart as my most favorite non-dead photographer;
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And hey, how about this photo of Jan, who regardless of his past as a doper or whatever, will always stand as one of my favorites;
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Personally, I don’t care if folks cheat in the bike racing game. Certainly if I were to whole heartedly subscribe to that notion, I’d have to discount Coppi, Tchmill, Abdoujaparov and so forth, which I refuse to do, because they were awesome.

Drugged or not.

The next bit was sent from Col and Steve- a couple of kindly blokes from across the pond, and it’s a story about a hirsute gentleman named Ed, who I’m reasonably sure is physically incapable of giving a shit about artisanal axes;

I’m inclined to believe that Ed would happily offer up a high five in acknowledgment of the day, if there were anything left of him than a head.
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14 Responses to “High Five Day is the new Hump Day.”

  1. Largo December 4, 2013 at 5:48 am #

    That vid made my December. Thanks for that.

  2. Double D All-Time December 4, 2013 at 9:43 am #

    Holy shit on a shitake. That video is incredible…

  3. jr December 4, 2013 at 2:10 pm #

    So no finished moto?

  4. crustycup December 4, 2013 at 4:19 pm #

    Yeah, more like BROfessional.

  5. Cush December 4, 2013 at 6:02 pm #

    Every high five I’ve never given in 43 years of life is now given to Ed. Twice.

  6. Haywood Cyclery December 4, 2013 at 6:16 pm #

    I learn a new word every visit.

  7. sergio huerta December 4, 2013 at 6:19 pm #

    Whuhh was that!? Cool weird, I dont even know what to say!

  8. sergio huerta December 4, 2013 at 6:22 pm #

    Not sure about doping, it makes the whole race scene and culture a sham. False idols lend no credibility to humanity, not feelin it. I dont judge why they do, did it. It just leaves me feeling like its all just a drug fueled advertisement for corporations not about cycling or human capapbilities at all, whatever..

    • Stevil December 4, 2013 at 7:01 pm #

      If you’ve not seen the documentary ‘Bigger, Faster, Stronger’, it’s a must see, and goes to prove that as long as there’s money to be made, there will be those who do what it takes to win. Competitive cycling has never been clean, it’s just when people started dying during the 80s that it began being regulated. If you want to watch real bike racing that is just humans and their machines, go watch peewee BMX heats or a C’s Masters race (road, cross, whatever). That’s as level a playing field as I suspect you’ll find.

  9. Nived December 4, 2013 at 6:31 pm #

    Head plants and sand traps,,, make Cross Racing Funner,,

  10. Krafty December 4, 2013 at 9:21 pm #

    Best “short” ever. Beware of the trail horn….

  11. nowheels December 4, 2013 at 9:45 pm #

    In reference to the Lyne Lamoureux photo with the rider in the “RAD” kit. How does one pull off a face plant with one foot clipped in and the bike wheels down?

    • Tman December 5, 2013 at 8:09 am #

      Very carefully!…………………….and a trained bikecycle.

  12. pedro December 5, 2013 at 4:26 pm #

    Fairly certain that a ‘stache of Mr. Reynold’s caliber is more commonly known as a “Dick Duster.”