A new doctrine.

Yet it’s a concept as old as time;
newbible

Some might even call it a sort of Bible.

Really, it seems easy enough.

Remember back in the day- (The 20th of last month. Am I using that vernacular correctly?) when I retold that saga of the sad sack who in the middle of a mountain bike race tried to pick a fight with me?

I loved, and also hated that entire scenario, but it also made me reflect on another post we had stashed in the last several hundred detailing crybaby douchebag bicycle racers losing their cool;

I realize this was five years ago, but has this Helen’s rider ever been sufficiently hazed?
kook
And who was this ball capped lumberjack who stopped him from embarrassing himself even further?
kookgettingstopped
Photos by Mikey Wally.
I mean, sure- we talked a grip of shit about the depicted rider and his ilk in that one post in particular, but we never specifically gave him his own middle finger.

Besides that, there’s just so much going on here;
kookonlookers
I’m at an absolute loss. I feel as if I built a house that we’ve all been living in for the last five years and I just now realized I never installed a front door.

I apologize for this oversight. It was unintentional, and no one’s fault but my own. When giving grief for profoundly bad behavior, I will try to keep it to the level that the All Hail The Black Market readership has not only come to expect, but that they deserve.

Know that this won’t happen again.

Moving on in other news, Seth Rosko has just finished building this somewhere in New York City;
ohhell
And he’s just about the only person who knows exactly where, so we’ve got that going for us.

He’s sent me little hints and teasers over the last couple of weeks;
roskodrawing
roskoramp
All I know is that it’s a temporary installation, that will be up for a month, so get while the getting is good.

Or just head over to The Black Bear Bar in Brooklyn;
201501RL_Levis023
And admittedly, I didn’t read this article on the aforementioned drinking establishment, because I’m very important and don’t have time for such things, (see: can’t read), but can anyone confirm or deny that the coping is made from beer can forms?
Josh_HUF_Jenkem_Bowl
Because that would just be utterly fantastic.

Finally from David I received the following video with no note, or introduction whatsoever;

Just because I have declared within the pages of my own re-written version of The Bible (alternatively called ‘The Bibble’) that being a dick really is the one thing that folks shouldn’t do, doesn’t mean that nature should, or generally does, (ahem) give a hoot.
newlittleskull

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16 Responses to “A new doctrine.”

  1. pedalman May 13, 2015 at 6:09 am #

    The coping does indeed appear to be made from beer cans! I’ll never look at an empty the same way again. I really like the quote from the Black Bear bar article, “Moderation” is not a common word among pro skateboarders.

  2. Jeff May 13, 2015 at 6:20 am #

    And your beloved skateboarding is above such things, all mellow and cool. It’s society man, can’t believe you haven’t figured that out?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eS1wQkgULFE

    • Stevil May 13, 2015 at 6:29 am #

      Firstly, my skateboarding? What? And secondly, have I ever said that? No. I’m reasonably sure I haven’t. I’m not actually sure what your point is. You weren’t the guy in the Helen’s kit were you?

    • Case May 13, 2015 at 9:12 am #

      Pretty sure every one of those “fights” were between drunks or kids, as opposed to a sober adult participating in a sanctioned event. Not that it doesn’t happen between the same folk, I’ve just never seen it at an actual sanctioned skateboarding event.

  3. Largo May 13, 2015 at 6:47 am #

    Is Loudass really that tall, or is That Guy really that short?

    • Stevil May 13, 2015 at 6:50 am #

      Among all of the things Loudass would have done, attempting to keep that fella from embarrassing himself would have been the last.

      • Largo May 13, 2015 at 1:14 pm #

        A well-honed sense of justice no doubt.

  4. fatlip May 13, 2015 at 8:10 am #

    While we’re sharing shitty bird stories…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IU5h6Dzt_fE

    Ahhhh… nature

  5. Peter May 13, 2015 at 9:58 am #

    There seems to be considerably less Lardass in these photos.
    Also, Is that THE guy from our asshat experiences?

  6. Peter May 13, 2015 at 10:00 am #

    I meant Loud. Wish I could blame spell check.

    • Loudass, Esq. May 13, 2015 at 4:07 pm #

      Whoah there, partner, that ain’t me in those photos! Yo I don’t hang out with those guys, man, I ain’t go nothing to do with those dudes!

      • eb May 14, 2015 at 9:39 am #

        I saw your female with ’em too. I hear she’s been giving that shit out to all those graffiti guys.

        • Loudass, Esq. May 14, 2015 at 12:31 pm #

          Yo, shut the fuck up, Chico, man!

  7. Skyblukowski May 13, 2015 at 7:08 pm #

    That turd won’t be welcome during any of the fun post race gatherings which make the fun of racing fun and worth every bit of misery, so sucks to be him. He is no way the norm and not worth a thought. And those turd birds are the funniest thing ever, they’ve kept me and my wife rolling all week. Notice the Russian turd bird watcher doesn’t even crack for a laugh…

  8. Russell May 14, 2015 at 8:43 am #

    Men in skinsuits fighting? Only in the wrestling rink please.

  9. Ryan May 14, 2015 at 1:25 pm #

    I was having an awful day. That owl clip brought me back from the dark side. Hope your leg is feeling better.