Hey ho let’s go.


Or perhaps that should read, “hey ho, I’m outta here“, though it doesn’t roll off the tongue the same.

Pretty soon people are just gonna give up on me with my repeated absences, but hopefully by that time comes, it will be raining again, and we’ll all be locked down for another four to six to seven and a half months by the winters, and we won’t have anything better to do than to stare at one another anyway.

So yes. I’m about to board a bullet train to Gonesville once again, but this time it’s to the southern part of the state to attend to some business with my friends O Zorn!, who it should be noted have just recently released a video for their skull crushing track ‘My Anxiety’;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cISQp4xBAh0

Those who have paid any attention to my relation with this band over the years might remember that they actually performed at the 2012 Underbike Industry Mixer®;

Well, not only am I headed down to catch their upcoming live performance;

-But I’m going to sit at a round table with the boys (or some shaped table anyway), and discuss the potential of doing a few month’s worth of PR work for them.

They must be pretty hard up to have solicited my assistance, but here’s to making bad decisions, and hoping against hope that we can find a happy middle ground on which to push their band to heights previously unattainable by purveyors of noise such as they;

So that’s all a long winded explanation why I won’t be present here on Monday, but will be back with at least one barrel blazing on Wednesday the 28th of June.

Now, moving on to other topics which we can most certainly live without, as a society we are ironically both on the cusp of total collapse, as well as spearheading advances in science and medicine that just a few short years ago would have been thought to be completely impossible.

Poop doping perfectly walks the line between the two.

Yeah, you read that right.

For those too lazy to click the link and invest forty-five seconds to read the article, I’ll summarize for you.

After battling Lyme Disease for over a decade, a cyclist and microbiologist named Lauren Peterson gave herself a fecal transplant from a competitive cyclist. Contained within the sample was a microorganisim called Prevotella, as well as a second one called Methanobrevibacter smiithi- Both always found in top cyclists. As the article states, either Peterson observed a portion of the donor’s soul, or these microbes actually not only helped heal her, but have allowed her to train at a much greater capacity than she could before.

Fascinating stuff, but not nearly so much as how I’d like to imagine the actual transplant could have been executed;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p34j0atQdJo

If you have yet to see the above clip. Please do yourself a favor and watch it.

Though the movie it’s from is a beautiful one, the clip is one of my top seventeen favorite mind numbingly, and hilariously disturbing things ever.

Skipping from that topic on to news of cool people doing cool stuff (as if there could be anything cooler than poop transplants, which by the way I mentioned to my super smart nutritionist life partner, and she was unfazed saying poo is being used in a myriad of ways, not the least of which is to battle brain tumors. Go figure.) I received a note from Gary with a tale of a long and lonesome road, save for legions of parasites that were accompanying him;

Hey Mr. Stevil

Down here in South Florida (Homestead/Florida City area), specifically just outside of the Everglades National Park, my comrade Brian Richard and I got tired of waiting for the rains to subside Saturday morning so off we rode, in the rain.

Of course I flatted in the first mile and a half, so now we were changing a flat in the rain. Needless to say some of the areas we ventured into were a bit under water, but we still had a great time;

This also led to the excitement of having to drain my rims out post ride.

When you did stop riding for a bit the mosquitoes were so bad in certain areas you could not stop. If you did you were instantly covered with the blood thirsty little bastards. There isn’t enough OFF! in a single can to ward off the numbers that were coming at you. The only solution was to just keep riding.


Thought you might enjoy the pics mostly. Hope to see you at Underbike this year. Really enjoyed Who Rides The Tiger last year!

Gary

I’m a fan of adventures, but the kind on which I’m eaten alive I’d rather avoid. Alas, sometimes it’s a must and in those instances, it only serves as inspiration to ride faster.

I suppose with Gary mentioning Underbike I should also officially declare that the party is on hiatus until next year. I had big, big plans this year, but it was gonna cost me a ton of money. “No problem” I thought. “I’ll just use the site to help raise the funds.

This was all well and good until I realized the money I raised (assuming I could reach the five grand mark) was just going to cover the band. I would still be on the hook of paying taxes on the money as well as renting the band’s backline equipment.

In light of that, as well as that goddamned arts and music festival that happened last year which basically fenced off the entirety of Old Town, I decided to bow out of both Underbike as well as Interbike this year and instead go to Alaska with my dear old dad. Having just celebrated his 80th birthday, it seemed to me that spending this trip with him was many, many lightyears ahead of the show in terms of importance, though I think I can safely say the resulting bourbon consumption will remain exactly the same.

I apologize, but after eight years of these shenanigans, as well as somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty-one years of Interbike, daddy needs a break.

Fingers crossed that 2018 will land in Denver, at which time Underbike is going to come screaming back with the fury that only a skull crushingly loud band and a room full of dirtbags can bring.

Don’t believe me? I’m a man of my word, and it is with great anticipation that I will eventually exclaim to any and all naysayers, “hey ho, I told you so.

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3 Responses to “Hey ho let’s go.”

  1. Hurltron 5000 June 23, 2017 at 6:30 am #

    I reckon one of my life’s regrets is missing Underbike 2012 and the skull-shattering riffs of O’Zorn, though seeing Who Rides The Tiger last year offered a modicum of relief. Please greet Mr. Kielty, et al from the mid-coast. Carry on.

    -Hugapotato

  2. pedalman June 23, 2017 at 2:44 pm #

    It will never fail to amaze me what some people will do to go faster on a bike! On a side note I recently got involved with a local project to compost dog poop. Maybe “Poops” the cool new thing.

  3. bikenerd June 24, 2017 at 3:06 pm #

    Your presence at Interbike and the occurrence of Underbike will be sorely missed by all except Las Vegas PD.

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