For what it's worth, I'm not here at this bucolic location right now. I am in my mind, but in body, in the same old gutter I always am.
No, like always I conjured the title up in regard to a couple of missives I've received from around the way recently. The mail bag is particularly empty these days. No-one puts on alley cat or outlaw races any longer, or if they do, they don't holler at me about it. The preferred form of communication it would seem is to rapid fire memes back and forth across the exchanges with Instagram's little paper airplane icon, which I can't do shit with.
So it was nice to hear from two folks who've long sullied their reputations by consorting with the likes of this web project, the first being DPOW! formerly of BIKE Magazine, Planet Bike, PDW, Blackburn and others who messaged me the following;
"Stevil-
Daily driver in college. Didn't even lock it up;
You stealing a bike with a skull wired to it, Jah help you."
My daily driver was a Trek 970, I did lock it up, and it got stolen anyway, but I only am realizing now was because I had no skull attached to it.
Moving on to a considerably wordier transmission, the previously referred to JS reached out with some details regarding an annual melee some of his pals and he seem to get into every year out there in America's heartland;
"Stevil-
So this happened in Ripon, WI.
We have an annual grand tour (Not to be mistaken with one of THE grand tours, but many understandably do) of three local villages. They are, in order, Princeton, Berlin, and Ripon. You may notice the first letters of each locale, when placed next to each other, form the same three initials used to shorten the name of a highly recognizable beer...
And so on a gorgeous late summer day, we set off. The tone was a bit more sedate this year if I may be so bold as to say so. I believe there are two reasons for this, one of which is completely justifiable, the other may need to be revisited as the next year's event is planned. First, a friend freshly recovering from Leukemia accompanied us on an e-bike. It was all I could do not to wrap his 80lb frame (His body, not the bike. I do believe he only JUST outweighed the bike.) in bubble wrap for the trip. I cringed every time I looked over, but he had a great day enjoying the weather and the company. The second reason, really must be considered again as I've mentioned. Someone invited some grownups along this year. And while they were very nice people, um, well anyway, adults came along. So that.
BUT, not to be completely dissuaded from my intentions for the day, I kicked off the morning with a PBR or two to ensure I had sufficient carbohydrates to make the first 15 mile leg.
At that point, brunch and bloody marys and obviously the tour's namesake beverage in Princeton.
I made sure to load up another tall boy in the bottle cage, because obviously the 17 miles between stops can make a guy thirsty, and we headed out to Berlin.
Here is where I probably started failing you. I completely lost track of the fact that some photos would be fun and instead went all self-centered and selfish and just enjoyed the ride. Clearly a failure on my part. You have my apologies.
It was prior to reaching Berlin when my brother rode up to me and told me my bike sounded like a jalopy... And while he wasn't wrong, it's not like I really needed him pointing it out. I attributed it to a poorly serviced drivetrain but figured I'd deal with it later. (Insert your Shimano comments here as you see fit, because you wouldn't be wrong in doing so.) Fortunately I made it to the end without incident, but in dealing with it later you can see the clear example of my shitty bike maintenance habits;
In Berlin it was a stop for nachos and I substituted some different beverages to accompany the food.
After a margarita as big as my head and the aforementioned beer there, any thoughts of picture taking whatsoever were lost;
Fortunately it was an uneventful 15ish mile trip to Ripon to conclude the grand tour that is the PBR. And, unfortunately no amount of self imposed high effort hill climbs got me any more sober, all they did was tire me out. So note to self on that for future efforts.
Yes, there was another stop and more beer in Ripon. But you'll just have to imagine the assembly. The grownups left us after stop two so we were smaller in number but still in celebratory spirits, so I can confidently say a good day was had by all;
All that said, I'm already looking forward to next year. A few days after the event I had the good fortune to meet a local bar owner who also happens to enjoy cycling. He seems a right fun type of soul, and I believe between the two of us we can successfully get this thing back on the rails as a train of drunk degenerates on two wheels like it was originally intended. (Confession, that was likely not the ride's intended goal in the beginning. But I have been highly successful up until this point in dragging it there. I will not be denied again next year!)
There. You have some words and some pictures. They are all yours to do with as you see fit. Use some or none or all of both. And definitely feel free to make up your own words should you prefer, because they are almost certain to be better than mine.
JS"
That looks like a damn fine time, and while I certainly don't encourage riding and imbibing, it's a thing I enjoy, and also a thing I enjoy hearing that others enjoy, but like Benjamin Franklin, or FDR, or my grandfather, or someone once said, "all things in moderation, including moderation."
Moving on from friendly contact to clearing out storage space, I have a couple of boxes of them skateboard decks I've made the last couple of years. Firstly,
I still have a few of the MDC decks on hand (I'd screwed up the inventory so it said it's been out of stock);
I cut the prices on those, so right now they're a steal.
I have more projects I'd like to get underway, but my storage is limited so help me get these out of here.
Help me help you help me.
Now, having handled that, I'll begin the short walk forwards from the outer banks straight into the drink.
4 comments
I’d recommend to that one guy to replace his derailleur pulleys with the inexpensive Shimano pulleys that just use bushings instead of cartridge bearings the next time he has to replace his derailleur pulleys.
That looks like a bushel of fun.
It’s a little surprising that a game of “beer bungee” didn’t manage to self-organize the way it would whenever more than three messengers ended up in the same part of Golden Gate Park on a Saturday…
My balls have balls.
It’s kinda fun trying to decifer who the “grown ups” are in the pictures. Those kinds of events are the key to not going “full grown up”. Cheers!