Life keeps on lifeing.

Here we are, back together again.

Some days these days I've felt like a broken record. "This person died, that person died, another person died, blah, blah, blah." But this week was somewhat of a mindbender. I traveled to see my friend David who's not yet gone, but is scheduled to be, and I can't wrap my mind around it. 

Let me back up. So, in 2024 my friend was diagnosed with a rare neurological brain stem bleed that left half of his body feeling numb. At the time he wrote the following;

"Three weeks after selling Crows Feet, I came home from a trip to Colorado with numbness on the right side of my body. Soon after, I was admitted to the ER to discover that I had a brain bleed in the brainstem area of my brain. It resulted from a malformed cavernoma.

The subsequent numbness is a mystery but most likely caused from blood matter in the brain or swelling on a critical nerve.

Luckily, the nerve damage does not affect motor function or strength, just coodination and brain function."

Seems simple enough, right? However, in the time since, his condition has spiraled rapidly, and though he put in a heroic effort to re-learn how to walk, talk, eat, and generally exist, his situation has continued to degrade, so in December he made the decision to pursue an end-of-life directive later this month. Lots of folks know David through his role at his old shop, the Single Speed Worlds he helped coordinate in Bend, and/or being a world class mountaineer, instructor/guide/friend. Carl Decker told me that at one point, legend has it that he summited Shasta thirty days in a row. Ordinarily this would be suspicious, but if you know David, you know it might even be an underestimation.

He's lived 100 lifetimes in my one, and I'm so proud to be counted as his friend.

I don't know how to mourn someone who's not gone;

To see how many people came to celebrate him, his many accomplishments, and his existence on this planet was indescribably powerful, and letting him know I loved him before walking out the door was perhaps one of the most surreal experiences of my life. 

I think the best thing I could have done after this trip was conclude it with a visit with some of my other favorite derelicts;

Goddammit man. Life is just so beautiful, and horrible, and amazing, and unfair. 

All of the loss has put me on my heels. I am still trying to mourn friends who died in August, but then more died, and then more died. Every day feels like that sensation of almost falling backwards in a chair, but not quite. 

My emotional shell is brittle and thin, and always feels like it's about to crack wide open. One thing is for certain... My shrink's gonna have her hands full this week.

One real cool bright spot that happened while I was away was that Discord released the Steve Albini recordings of 'In On The Killtaker' which  up to that point, I'm not even sure I knew existed;

I read somewhere, something to the effect of that you could hear an audible stampede of white guys born between 1970 and 1985 rushing to their Bandcamp profiles when this was announced, and I can't say I disagree. 

Proceeds from this release will be donated to the Letters Charity, which Steve and his wife Heather were together deeply involved with (I presume Heather still is) until his death in 2024.

Stellar humans doing stellar things while helping to round out my music collection in ways I didn't know I needed. 

Having covered all of that- I'd like to remind folks that the previously mentioned B'ham skatepark benefit show happened over the weekend, and by the looks of things, it was real successful;

I was of the understanding that the work displayed was all priced to move but apparently at least some of it's available through auction. If you'd lime to see some of what was being shown, or throw a bid in yourself, get hot, super honky.

Now at this junction of the day, I guess I'll bring out the new episode of Revolting;

I estimated this morning that if Robot and I were on a road trip, and we were driving at 80 miles an hour, including this episode we would have talked for 17,600 miles.

Whether or not that time spent has been worthwhile is subjective, but it can't be argued that at the bare minimum, it's been a whole lotta lifeing.

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