What gets murdered in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

As we stand teetering on the brink of another many months of ridiculous, it’s only right that we should kick off with a few words from the estimable Brian Vernor;


Please note that at 2 minutes and 18 seconds Brian mentions the ‘beer hand down’. This is very nearly as touching to me as the wide spread recognition of dollar primes, which as you know have taken on a life of their own since our implementation of them at 1998’s San Francisco cyclocross Nationals.
Though try as I might, I haven’t yet conjured an efficient way of dolling out the drinks.. That is until now;
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I am in the process of developing my very own AHTBM beerdoleer, but until that time comes, I will rely on this one.
Any and all are welcome to join in on the smearing of last spring’s ruling banning hand ups, while making the day of any nearby onlookers. As a matter of fact, if you document such an activity and email your goods to Captain Dave, you might even snag yourselves a fine pair of EVIL socks via his brand spankin’ new contest.
Just remember.. You can’t clown the hand down.
For those who find themselves in and around Shrewsbury, Massachusetts early next month, perhaps a perfect location to get your throwing arm warmed up would be the Night Weasels Cometh bicycle related athletic pursuit. As you can plainly see, I was wrangled in to be one of the event’s sponsors, which I believe netted the promoters a broken toaster oven and a sock, so why not mark your calendar and show up to throw up?
However, before the wheels fall any further off this wagon, and while I have AHTBM product fresh on my mind, I should mention that I am currently in possession of (what might possibly be the last three) AHTBM/Pushbike roll top messenger bags;
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As I pointed out just after its launch, the bags on the left are the same one. The imprint is screen printed in black, reflective ink. I will probably be strutting around the big show with mine, so should we cross paths, ask nicely and I might give you peek.
They are hand made in San Francisco by a kindly English bloke, every stitch put in place with love. Get on the good foot, and show the world your colors.
Especially if your colors are black.
From the mail bag’s side of the tracks, I received belated birthday wishes from none other than I.M.B.A. super honch, Frank;
“For your birthday, I scoured the inter-webs for a bit of esoteric knowledge that will enrich your life. Instead I came across this:

Safe travels to Sin City, I have to say that I have not felt bad about missing the event for the last few years. I am actually quite proud of my lack of knowledge on the latest in cycling jim-cracks, gee-gaws and doo-dads, don’t miss the dry air hack that lingers for days, nor the aching calves from walking on poorly padded carpet. In short, I am old. But not as old as you (gimme a few months).
F.M.”

Well lookie here.. You weren’t expecting to learn anything today, were you?
Now then… Dylan sent me an email chock full of inspiration letting me know about a bike ride that took place this past weekend. It seems as though a young man named Frank was having his 90th birthday and in recognition of this fact, chose to celebrate it with a 90 mile journey;
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Many congratulations, and a very happy birthday Frank. You are cut of some mighty stout cloth.
The best I can hope for is that I’m capable of such a feat when I’m half his age.
Lastly, it is my pride and honor to announce a recent collaboration between AHTBM and the mysterious figurehead behind Blue Fruit(dot)com.
As I have mentioned repeatedly over these last many years in regards to the wingnuts from the Westboro Baptist Church (no, really. Click the link. It’s a good one) have gone on and one about God hating fags and whatnot. It is this line of thinking that has made be a firm believer that if God hates fags, then I am positive that she hates all kinds of other stuff, which is what finally motivated Captain Blue Fruit and myself to launch our own campaign.
Thanks to the hard work of the good people at Sticker Robot, (who, by the way make the best stickers on the planet. God Hates Crack and peel) the preliminary steps of our marketing blitzkrieg are now underway;
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I’ll have some of these with me this week, but if you wanna get your claws on some now, all you gotta do is go right here.
Each high quality decal measures a hearty 3×5 inches, so will be plenty big enough to shout your message loud and clear.
And here we are once again at the end, cats and kittens. I will be back in the void until next Monday, so in the interim, I trust that you will be in the trenches, handing beers up, down and to whatever side suits you. Though God probably wouldn’t care for it, it’s a safe bet that Vernor and his Japanese counterparts would want it that way.
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Leave a Reply

10 Responses to “What gets murdered in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”

  1. bRado1 September 22, 2010 at 6:09 am #

    AHTBM beerdoleer Fuck yeah.. need one!

  2. sean hurl September 22, 2010 at 7:11 am #

    I’m expecting a sticker hand down when I see you in Vegas

  3. ThadS September 22, 2010 at 7:51 am #

    HAHA, God hates hates speech. We all hate procedural crime dramas. So good.

  4. Crank September 22, 2010 at 9:04 am #

    Kinda ruins it for me using “god” for anything. Who’s god? I have two dogs. Slexsyadis ucks.

  5. Ken September 22, 2010 at 3:00 pm #

    http://youtu.be/r2w2TRxSLxw

  6. The Tourist that Cycles September 22, 2010 at 9:55 pm #

    God
    Hates
    Stickers

  7. Sarah September 23, 2010 at 12:38 pm #

    Frank and I have the same shoes! Go get ’em tiger!

  8. bRado1 September 23, 2010 at 6:35 pm #

    @ Tourist
    that’s good!
    God
    Hates
    Tourist

  9. Vaeringjar Eggeling September 24, 2010 at 10:32 pm #

    As Hegel would have said, pack fudge not guns.

  10. EK January 14, 2012 at 8:04 pm #

    re 90th/90 miles; that kid on the blue bike is gonna be tired