A post for today and forever.

Before I get into anything, and because I feel connected enough with the audience who thankfully chooses to come here so regularly, I want to publicly thank all of you for the support of this project over the last sixteen months.

I never thought I would see the day that I could still be maintaining momentum, and writing posts day after day and so throughly enjoying myself. That said, what I have to share is incredibly bitter sweet.
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Photo courtesy of Paul Downey.


To make a long story short, and to kind of preface what I have to tell you, I used to work for an art handling company who were, among other things, responsible for taking care of Doris and her late husband Don Fisher’s collection (together they own The Gap, Old Navy and Banana Republic, and possess and amazing body of artwork.) After regularly working in the San Francisco corporate office’s galleries, I became friends with a few people who work there, and have kept in touch over the years.

A few months ago a couple of my friends there entrusted me with the fact that their department, which was formerly ‘street wear’ (for lack of a better term) will soon be releasing a line of urban cycling wear.

I can hear you groaning from here, but my friends are good people, committed cyclists, and are determined to make this a successful venture. Apparently their boss has been paying attention to what I have been doing here, and they have offered me an incredible opportunity to be in their employ as a full time copy writer, as well as to maintain their soon to be launched website called ‘The Gap In The Curb’, the transition for which will be effective immediately.

What this means is that as of the 10th of this month, the lights will be going dark here, but certainly if anyone would like to follow my exploits at The Gap In The Curb, I would be most appreciative to have you along. I will be reimbursing the good people in the Maximo Supremo section any remaining ad monies over the course of next week, and will fill all pending orders, but I’m afraid after that, and as much as it hurts my heart to say so, The Black Market will be closing its doors.

Again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all for your support and friendship. It means more to me than I can say, and hope against hope, but I look forward to many more years of it.

Speaking of curbs and gaps, would you like to talk about fixed gear freestyle, or as the kids call it, ‘FGFS’?

I didn’t think so.
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A part of my ‘job’, if one were to refer what I do as such, is scanning the interwebs with my hobo sack slung over my shoulder. When I find a juicy morsel, I stow it away for future use. Sometimes I look at bike related sites, but more often than not, I look anywhere else I can for fodder. Like JPHNH texted me when I was asking for pointers on being a good journalist; “look where the douchebags are and go somewhere else.”

Not to give away my blogtastic secrets, but like Joe says, I do just that.
Unfortunately though, from time to time I will find myself wading through the circular bog of nonsense that is the bike world’s corner of the web and in doing so, recently came across some FGFS edits. It had been a while since I had seen any, so I thought I’d pop the cap on some Nyquil and see what had transpired in that world since I’d been away.

As it turns out, very little. The blistering soundtracks were still in place, as were the artistically composed shots, and clean editing. Unfortunately so was the complete absence of anything worth documenting.
Ordinarily I would embed a video here with which I would prove my point, but instead found one that is equally enthralling;

Now understand me when I say I love bikes… All kinds of them, and the more people who ride, the merrier the party. I’m not judging anyone by what type of bike they want to ride or how they want to ride it. I’m judging people for feeling the need to document every mind numbing moment of their hobby. I like to ride bikes, and in some instances, I can be fairly adept at it, but I’ve never felt a particular need to show the world my ability (or inability as the case sometimes is) via mini movies staring me.

Besides, and as I mentioned recently in another room of my webpire, watching any number of those edits anytime before or after the following (and previously regaled) clip of Ruben Alcantara is not unlike witnessing an individual plop down among the master works in the Louvre, set up an easel, and begin finger painting with their own feces;

Then again.. Maybe it’s just me. I would prefer witnessing something great.. Something unprecedented and maybe even life affirming than a poor, and barely comparable facsimile.

I suppose at the end of the day I just have to throw my hands up and say to each his own. I’m not terribly fond of soap shoeing, or autoerotic asphyxiation, but there are certainly those who are, and so I guess, good for them.

Just please don’t feel like you have to make a self congratulatory video about it.

Taking a moment to dip into the mail bag, A-Train made contact with a correspondence of the sort that makes my position worthwhile;

“Yo Stevil,
Your blog often mentions art that doesn’t suck, so I thought you might like some of this I-talian fella’s work. I think it doesn’t suck;
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Also, while locking up at school today (I’m the only kid in my 8th grade class with a driver’s license and I bike to school. Maybe that’s why Suzie didn’t want to go the winter dance with me) I found myself staring at this bumper sticker;
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Get one for your wife’s Lexus.
-A-Train”

Yep.. That’s all very good stuff indeed, and as soon as I finish paying off her Jaguar, I’m going to get her that Lexus for the bumper sticker.

Also, and while on the topic of visual fodder, right here in practically my own backyard I’ve been notified of an art related goings on, that has been expressed unto me thusly;

“This not bike related whatsoever.
but, in the event you want to fit this into one of your posts this week, i’d be super stoked on the promo.
i’ve got an art opening this friday night over at chimera arts on the westside.
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the show is –
half photography. (dead dogs in the desert and all things barren and lifeless).
half found-object work. (collective boxes of the broken off pieces of my life).
i intend to sell every single piece in the show on opening night.
(or at least that’s what dale carnegie suggested i plan for).
you can also tell me to go to hell. that’s pretty much what the show is about anyway.
~kelley~”

A show about going to Hell..
If you are in the neighborhood, you’d be a fool to miss it.

In other news of goings on and goings off, the second issue of Paved Magazine is now well within the throes of distribution and along with it, a couple samplings of my minimal efforts. Not that the effort on my part was minimal mind you, as the total of 591 words took me weeks of effort, multiple attempts and at least three bottles of Makers Mark. I’m happy to report though, despite my inability to use my words in any level of efficiency, I have just completed the third installment of my ‘Axis of Stevil’ feature and if I do say so myself, the third time was the charm.

This proves the theory that if you force a paintbrush into a monkey’s hand for long enough, eventually he will learn how to paint.

Though much like the Chimpanzees in Desmond Morris’s experiments, I too will soon do the bare minimum in order to collect my peanuts.
While we are on the topic of speed cycling and the inspiration found therein, following weeks of soul crushing rain, I recently found a window in which to go explore my own little slice of Belgium;
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The roads were endless, the farmlands vast, and the smell of fertilizer was at times overwhelming, but with my big boy pants firmly in place, I put my head down and took charge of the situation;
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It’s days like this one that make yesterday worthwhile, and tomorrow an empty canvas open to any and all possibilities.
And I don’t even feel the need to make a video about it.
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25 Responses to “A post for today and forever.”

  1. Snakebite April 1, 2011 at 7:03 am #

    If AHTBM is closing, that means my AHTBM jersey is now a collectors item! Unless, of course, this is a cruel April Fool’s joke. If that’s the case, well, then you owe me, well, nothing.

  2. Chezedog April 1, 2011 at 7:08 am #

    Hearty congratulations!
    And here we all thought that fine art handling was a waste of time…

  3. Devin April 1, 2011 at 7:12 am #

    The Gap in the Curb has April Fool stink all over it.

  4. JT April 1, 2011 at 7:16 am #

    As the Butthole Surfers said so many years ago, it’s better to regret soemthing you have done than something you haven’t done. Rip em up Stevil. Better to take an opportunity when it raps you upside your head and see where it leads than to let it swizzle on by. BTW, this better not be some April Fools BS…

  5. Chezedog April 1, 2011 at 7:18 am #

    Damn. So handling fine art IS a waste of time. Oh well…

  6. One Eyed z April 1, 2011 at 7:23 am #

    You got one sucker today. Got a text from a buddy that simply said “RIP AHTBM”. Oh Jones… you poor sucker. Ha! Nice work Stevil. I will have one more thing to give him a hard time about.

  7. jimmy April 1, 2011 at 7:23 am #

    i’m with devin on this one, april fools shit all over the place. believe nothing you read on the internet today, especially bicycle related offerings.

  8. frank April 1, 2011 at 7:58 am #

    I was excited at first for you. then disappointed with “the gap in the curb” web title not driving the joke home. Now I feel like only half a fool. which means I’m incomplete in my idiocy also.

  9. Lucky April 1, 2011 at 8:47 am #

    Nooooooooooo! Don’t do it! Those corporate bastards will steal your soul! The best part about April Fool’s is that I fall for shit all day long. Call me foolish, but it makes for an interesting day.

  10. ak April 1, 2011 at 9:04 am #

    That was better than this one – http://www.bicycleretailer.com/news/newsDetail/5276.html
    And this one –
    http://www.mbaction.com/ME2/dirmod.asp?sid=&nm=&type=news&mod=News&mid=9A02E3B96F2A415ABC72CB5F516B4C10&tier=3&nid=5524989038F942E48657E359CE5CE8AC
    And of course, way better than this one –
    http://velonews.competitor.com/2011/04/bikes-and-tech/product-recall-rapha-recalls-chamois-cream_166260
    Doesn’t Rapha know that we are all aware of their campaign against funny. Their un-humor stance has been widely documented and something like this is like watching McCain try and raise his hands over his head. Or using emoticons. Or your straight-laced, pleated-pant-and-loafer-wearing coworker wearing shorts, super tall socks and some kind of BMX race shoes. In white.
    Just sad really. And awkward. Like finding yourself hugging someone that you do not have a hugging relationship with…
    Though I think you ‘fessed too soon!

  11. bustin rhymes April 1, 2011 at 9:05 am #

    whatever dude, noone would hire you’re sorry ass.

  12. Stevil April 1, 2011 at 9:10 am #

    Not true Bustin. Someone did once, and I washed dishes better than anyone before me. I would also like to commend you on your absolute mastery of the English language.
    Stay in school, kids.

  13. daisy April 1, 2011 at 9:15 am #

    Advertising monies left over? Riiiight! The gutter is one bitch of a destiny that will not be denied.

  14. kimbrolio April 1, 2011 at 9:22 am #

    This ranks right up there with googling ‘helvetica,’ on the gag scale.

  15. Troy B April 1, 2011 at 9:36 am #

    Joke or not, I’m sure you’ll endeavor to bring authenticity and integrity to whatever you do.

  16. Josh RVA April 1, 2011 at 10:40 am #

    Hook, line and sinker.

  17. SuperDouche April 1, 2011 at 11:18 am #

    Most importantly (simply because I’m so important and can’t be bothered), what is that bumper sticker on your top tube? HAven’t seen that one, is it an old run, or so new I’ve simply missed it? I haven’t offended anyone in months commuting, must scare children soon to retain dirtbag status.

  18. Duffin April 1, 2011 at 3:36 pm #

    You cruel bastard. A week after losing CRC Coffee Bar, you stab me in the heart with an April Fool’s prank that really had me going for a second. Not enough to send anyone a “RIP AHTBM” text (ah Jonesy), but almost. Next time you’re in town, don’t be surprised if I sucker punch you in the hobo sack.

  19. Paul Harrison April 1, 2011 at 4:56 pm #

    Alright, whatever….April Fools or not, I bought a cross bike because of this blog and have loved every minute riding it on the trails that were previously reserved for the mtb. If it’s true I’ll miss my daily reading!

  20. Devin April 1, 2011 at 6:00 pm #

    Huh,, unreal on the bmx front

  21. daniel April 2, 2011 at 2:57 pm #

    yeah, bullshit, companies don’t pay you to advertise here!!!!!!!! Not going to catch me out with that one!!!!!!! fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice ———- can’t get fooled again!!!!!

  22. G April 3, 2011 at 7:46 pm #

    Thanks for the great work on AHTBM!! How am I going to waist time at work now that you will be gone? It’s hard to say this but, I am sure what ever you go and do for the man is going to rull. Congratulations!

  23. sarah April 3, 2011 at 10:27 pm #

    you jerk. i was fooled. and very sad.

  24. missile slice April 5, 2011 at 12:42 pm #

    Whoa, could this be the same G who trolls the BRAIN forums? The butchered homonyms point to ‘yes’..

  25. ted April 6, 2011 at 11:51 am #

    TL,DR