Two wrongs don’t make a right.

But two lefts do.
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I’m pretty sure that today is Monday, which means I’m pretty sure I have to write another post. If I’m wrong on the first count, then we’ll just look at today’s effort as a freebie.

I noted on Friday that I was attempting to clear off my desktop/out my inbox, but alas, I only barely scratched the surface, so for today, I’ll put on my stuff digging gloves and begin sorting the assortment.

Firstly, Thom from doubleyewdoubleyewdoubleyew(dot)Dirtwire(dot)TV made the contact regarding a mini movie project he just completed about a thing which is detailed in the following;

Stevil,

I just made this WIDEO for Chip Baker and The Honey Bikes;

Don’t know if it’s something you’d want to post on AHTBM.

Thanks, mang.
– t

Know not of Honey Bikes?

I didn’t really either until I Googled it;
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And in doing so I’ve come to learn that Honey Bicycles is staffed (officially and unofficially) by a clan of New Englanders with whom I’ve been aquatinted for years.

How is it that this was new news to you” you might ask?

I have a short attention span and pay little mind to anything save for the amount of coffee in my cup.

Secondly, and nearly more importantly, Chip Baker is this guy, (or was in 1995, anyway);
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Photo via Mark Dawson
And Thom is this guy;
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My point being, that Honey Bicycles’ foundation is built of those who are O.G., and/or completely insane, which pretty much is all you need to know.

And while we’re on the topic of O.G., while traversing between cat videos, pornography, and clips of people falling off of rope swings recently, I happened across one of the best cycling images I’ve ever seen;
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Down to its finest details, everything about this photograph sings the song of my people.

Especially the fact that there appears to be a beret wearing Redd Foxx enthusiastically observing from the sidelines;
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Even though my therapist has repeatedly told me that she feels as though I see Redd Foxx where I want to, in this instance I think I’m on to something;
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I wouldn’t be the first person to claim that celebrities have long known about time travel;
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Though I wouldn’t exactly consider Keanu Reeves a celebrity.

In closing, Joe got in touch with a bit of education regarding The High Five;
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In 1977, Glenn Burke ran onto the field to congratulate his Los Angeles Dodgers teammate Dusty Baker after hitting his thirtieth home run in the last game of the regular season by raising his hand over his head as Baker jogged home from third base. Not knowing what to do about the upraised hand, Baker slapped it, thus the two together invented the high five.

I noted that while this may have been historically significant, it still doesn’t scrape the surface on how historically the Portland High Five will eventually become.

For those who are unaware, this is a move I invented at the 2008 SSCXWC (and later taught to Jonny Sundt, upon which he declared the following);
portlandhighfive
The process is for the greeter to aggressively grab the hand of the greetie and slap the ever loving hell out of it.

The name comes from the fact that Portlander’s shoulders must assuredly be tired from constantly patting themselves on the back, so it can only be assumed that an assist would be not only appreciated, but necessary.

Which hand you pick is entirely up to you.
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7 Responses to “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

  1. pedalman March 3, 2014 at 6:06 am #

    Stevil you big dummy, you’re so ugly when you was born the doctor slapped your Momma. Sorry bout that, I felt a strong presense of Redd Foxx channeling through.

  2. Ghostship Matt March 3, 2014 at 6:19 am #

    Chip is one of my favorite people in the NECX scene. He gets it. And the next time you see Thom, ask him to channel Walken. Good times.

  3. SweetCheetah March 3, 2014 at 7:44 am #

    I too see Red Foxx everywhere. Nobody sees Lamont anymore though.

    • Stevil March 3, 2014 at 8:22 am #

      He was the ‘Meathead’ of the junkyard.

  4. Zach Schwarzbach March 3, 2014 at 8:52 am #

    I don’t know if you watch(ed) the oscars. During the montage of all the film industry folks who died in the last year I learned Hal Needham, Stunt Coordinator for Smokey and The Bandit, is among the recently deceased. Sorry to bum you out, but I suspect you would want engage in the bikerdouchebloggger equivalent of lighting a funeral pyre. xoxo.

  5. jomama March 3, 2014 at 9:14 am #

    Ha, cool to see ‘Blik’ clothing on Chip. I helped them a bit in PDX with their screening.

  6. wicknasty March 3, 2014 at 9:44 am #

    I thought the Portland high 5 was where you faked an up top high 5 with one hand and then slapped the recipient in the nuts with your other hand. Maybe that’s just the Wicknasty high five though.