One for a birthday.

Today I’d like to wish 685 a very happy birthday, and because he, like many people, are of the firm belief that Jesus put dinosaurs on the earth a thousand years ago just to test our faith, I present to you your proponent. He’ll kick the crap out of your beliefs nine days a week.

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13 Responses to “One for a birthday.”

  1. Anonymous September 12, 2009 at 11:25 pm #

    Suck it, Norris.

  2. Jeb Standard September 12, 2009 at 11:29 pm #

    Chuck needs a beating from the flying spaghetti monster

  3. Yrjo September 13, 2009 at 12:29 am #

    Yeah, Chuck. Don’t pray in my school and I won’t think in your church.

  4. -dan September 13, 2009 at 7:34 am #

    Check it, the monsters shaved his beard off.
    Much like Sampson, he lost all of his strength and conformed from a real life Karate Kid, with a panache for bustin’ ass and sparring with Bruce Lee; to social co-ordinator and spokesman for Jim Baker.
    Don’t let them take your beard away!

  5. pedalman September 13, 2009 at 8:48 am #

    Having survived multiple tours of duty in catholic school i can tell you Chucky-boy has got nothing on Sister Thomas Aquinas and her yardstick of fury. Her ninja like skill with the yardstick coupled with a ruthless verbal assault left many classmates as only broken,empty shells of the free spirited individuals they started off as. All in the name of Jesus. My advice to todays kids- run away!

  6. Chezedog September 13, 2009 at 10:18 am #

    “Our forefathers founded this country on biblical principles…”
    Actually, they came up the “separation of church and state” thing, Chuckie.

  7. cary September 13, 2009 at 3:34 pm #

    What the fuck chuck! I called the number ready to deliver a round house of insults but this number is wack. Hey wait a minute…too many letters. Lied to again.

  8. Nick September 13, 2009 at 4:00 pm #

    What a tool.

  9. Sean Hurl September 13, 2009 at 6:58 pm #

    I just close my eyes and imagine lone wolf mquade drinking a beer and jumping his blazer out of a shallow grave. Perhaps you (stevil) should give us this months chuckism from the calendar i sent you.

  10. BunE September 15, 2009 at 8:28 am #

    Testing our faith this way is sort of a dick-like move.

  11. Crank September 16, 2009 at 8:30 am #

    Long, long ago, when man first began to question why things go bump in the night, and bad things happen to good people, they invented me. I am god ( little “G”, as I come in many flavors). I distributed myself liberally around your little blue orb, sharing myself with many different cultures. I am so pleased to be able to sit back, and watch the killing, hatred, rascism, and suffering you cause to yourself in my name. I enjoy a glass of your sweet tears (on ice), after a long day of distributing trivial punishments. Now remember kids, when it comes to mass killings, adultery, and unjust punishments, I wrote the book. I killed millions of innocents in the flood, I impregnated Mary, another man’s wife, and I tested Job, a good man of faith, to simply win a bet with my right hand man, Lucifer. Well, the mideast cant wait any longer, gotta go, see you in a few years (not!). Your best buddy – god

  12. Troy B September 18, 2009 at 9:16 am #

    Sucka..Sucka..Suck Norris!

  13. Jeff September 21, 2009 at 1:25 pm #

    I don’t think I’d mind bibles in my son’s school if Ronnie James Dio personally sang the Book of Revelations to him. Now that would be cool.