You knew what kind of party you were invited to.


Don’t act surprised when you end up with a face full of mustard.
Lookit… Here I am putting my fancy business pants on and sponsoring my first alleycat race.
An alleycat in Bozeman, Montana of all places.
Do they even have alleys in Bozeman?
I doubt it, but I’m proud to be a part. A very small part, but a part just the same.
In alleycat flyer news, lucky for me, Prolly is on the ball and put this collage together. I look good cause he looks good;
If you are in any of those places, you know what to do.
It’s not just the alleycatters that throw down the bike events neither, nosuh. The BMX rippers have been known to throw down the occasional eeevent, too. Case in point? Thisun’ coming up in my own back yard;
And while we’re on the topic of the BMX, on Monday I regretfully neglected to post a flyer for a memorial jam in honor of the original Curb Dog himself, Dave Vanderspek;
You’ve heard the phrase “after they made him, they broke the mold’?
In Dave’s case, there couldn’t be a more profound truth.
It’s been a fair piece since we’ve had any discussion about that which tames the savage beast, so why don’t we get into a music minute?
A band that I’ve gotten well entranced by over the course of the last year goes by the name of The Gutter Twins and consists of Mark Lannigan formerly of The Screaming Trees and Greg Dulli formerly of The Afghan Whigs;
The Gutter Twins1_photo credit Sam Holden.jpg
For someone who is as intimately familiar with their previous projects as I am, to call me skeptical would have been an understatement. To combine the swirlingly bleak musical environs these two men have always been capable of creating, I thought would very likely result in a sonic black hole, but I was pleasantly surprised, and their LP ‘Saturnalia’ is one that shouldn’t be missed. In honor of Nick Hornby’s ‘High Fidelity’, I rate this as a top ten best album to take with you on a week long bender.
So I’ve been giving the beer hand down alot of energy as of late, and why not? It’s a brilliant little move that you will be seeing all across this great land by winter’s end.
I was hoping that there might have been a chance that someone would have snapped a photo of my inaugural beer down a week and a half ago, but as proven by my rudimentary diagram of the event, no such photo came to light.
Now Captain Dave on the other hand has the good fortune of not only having one photo, but as it turns out, a second, because people in Oregonlandia don’t so much as open a box of bar tape without a team of photographers documenting it;
hand down pdx cross.jpg
And how stoked was the dude from the Spin Doctors to be on the receiving end of the toss?
“..Little Miss, Little Miss, Little Miss caught the beer.”
Dayton got ahold of me with a specific hard time concerning me throwing up and not showing up to the last Soil Saloon event;
“Had fun @ the latest soil saloon.
Here is some grief for you missing it to go look at bags.
And here is a video of the sort of literary, booze fueled genius you missed:

ps thanks for posting that animation video. it’s been haunting me (in a pleasant sort of way) all day long.”

To that I responded-
“I raped and I pillaged stealing all the town’s loot.
Once the sheriff caught wind, and my time was at end, they shamed me
by hanging with only one boot.”
My talents were truly lost on an unappreciative toilet last Wednesday.
My old, and very dear friend Amigo #4 emailed in to let us know that his time spent in the soup line doesn’t get in the way of his good time;
“yah being unemployed sucks but on the up side while all those employed people spent their Monday working, I was out poaching my secret stash;
Then I sat on my fat unemployed ass and drank my other stash;
Im going broke but life is still good.
Thanks to Blacksocks I have a sweet helmet and thanks to Soulcraft I have sweet black socks. Ill see you at bike crank brother.”

You know, it really is all about the quality of life.
True, I’m just about as poor as I’ve ever been, and without every single person who reads this site not jumping up immediately to buy a cüzie, I don’t really know where rent is coming from, let alone my next meal, but I don’t think I can remember the last time I was this happy.
Personally, I would rather be happy than rich, though I’d be lying if I said being rich wouldn’t make me happy.
Greg from waaaayyyy up there in Alaska sent me an email, the warm fuzzies from which are only comparable to that of a Hallmark card;
“Hey Stevil,
Long time listener, first time caller. Just wanted to say we’ve been ruining it for the other racers for years. Then we hang around a burn barrel in -20 like drunken homeless guys with high dollar winter bikes.
Thanks for the morning wood,
Greg Matyas
Speedway Cycles
Putting the “fuck” back into riding”

You are very welcome, but I will have you know, my mother in law (for lack of a better term) is a very svelte little German woman.
A kleine frau, if you will.
So I mentioned the other day in the comments that I am generally opposed to vaccines. In America, there is an increasing link found between vaccines and autism, plus, as I stated, I am not necessarily trusting of an injection recommended by the government.
I mentioned that I felt as though getting colds, and flus and whatnot was a healthy part of being a human. We are born with immune systems, so I tend to not be afraid to let mine do its job every now and again.
A pretty good argument for my case is this here clip-

Damn.. However rare Dystonia may be, I’ll still take a week and a half of flu over a life time of seizures and misery any day.
I hate to drop that bummer on you, but I swear the fact that schools are urging parents to put that shit into their children is maddening. People are lining up for it, and with only a couple of exceptions, I don’t understand it.
Ok.. bike stuff.. Back to bike stuff… Raleigh Sally sent me this epic bit of info, which at this stage in the game is a day late and a dollar short, but I would bet that you’ve come to expect that from me by this point.
As long as we’re on the topic of the SSCXWC, I have to mention that Captain Dave has pulled out some stops in order to get the band back together, and peddled enough drugs at area school yards to afford me a plane ticket.
So this is what it feels like to be a ringer?… I most certainly will not be the fastest person in attendance this year, but I’m gonna have some tricks up my sleeve that leave a mark on some people’s souls one way or another.
By the way.. Did anybody check with Spooky Bikes to see if it was cool with them to bite their logo for that poster?
If you know what I’m talking about, then that proves that you’ve ridden bikes for longer than a decade.
Alright.. I’m thinking that just about wraps up another installment of How To Avoid All Hailing The Black Market Life, or whatever.

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Leave a Reply

22 Responses to “You knew what kind of party you were invited to.”

  1. Tim Jackson October 20, 2009 at 7:30 pm #

    Unholy crap… that animation bit was INSANE! CRAP on a CRUTCH! THAT took some figuring out. Shite.

  2. Jon Woodward October 20, 2009 at 7:43 pm #

    Dulli and Lanegan are a killer combo. Check out Lanegan’s other project with the Soulsavers.

  3. Jonny Hamachi October 20, 2009 at 7:55 pm #

    Anywhere Lanegan goes I will follow.

  4. bryantp October 20, 2009 at 9:39 pm #

    Briefly…on my way to get a flu shot…likelihood of problems from a flu shot is far less than the likelihood of poor reporting from Faux News.

  5. samh October 20, 2009 at 10:22 pm #

    You too should continue putting the “fuck” back into riding, Mr. Kinevil.

  6. Stevil October 20, 2009 at 11:29 pm #

    I forget that Fox news affiliates outside of the Bay Area suck. Can I get a ‘Dennis Richmond’?

  7. N@ October 21, 2009 at 2:09 am #


  8. Teamfubar October 21, 2009 at 5:09 am #

    Shit. I got all excited that you were bringing back REO Speedwagon with “High INFidelity” and then I got all tingly that you were gonna drop a Bruce Hornsby reference, but then I was a bit bummed it said “High Fidelity” by Nick Hornby. It isn’t ’80’s crap rock, but I’ll have to check out the Afghan Trees album.

  9. Crank October 21, 2009 at 6:40 am #

    Get the vaccine. I avoided it for years, and found myself questioning authority, having random creative ideas, reading, going outdoors, and avoiding fast food. Since I got the vaccine, I am much more content. I work M-F, 8-5, watch TV, plav XBOX, enjoy the honesty of the nightly news3, 8-j12life has reall3 1empru7ed 4 citizen 1269-lm. 1100110111100111001001110.

  10. White Lobster October 21, 2009 at 7:17 am #

    Re. vaccines: conspiracy theories are fun and all, but data is the jam.

  11. Stevil October 21, 2009 at 7:38 am #

    Dammit people, I’m not talking about curtailing all vaccines across the board. No, that’s not what I’m saying at all.
    Counterpoint to my point on Friday.

  12. krexus October 21, 2009 at 7:43 am #

    I gotta second the White Lobster’s sentiment:
    thats a good synopsis from Reason Magazine.

  13. Karl Hungus October 21, 2009 at 8:09 am #

    Dennis Richmond would beat the shit out of Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson and then bench press the A-Team.

  14. irishpunk59 October 21, 2009 at 9:06 am #

    flu shots happenin little too late for us up here in Reno but don’t think I woulda got one anyways. And Dennis Richmond bad ass for sure good thing they think Reno is in the bay area

  15. Loudass, Esq. October 21, 2009 at 2:27 pm #

    When I was in middle school, I would ride my MX-II out to The Bridge in Golden Gate Park on Sundays to watch Vander and company do their tricks. The dude never wore a shirt. And he pretty much defined the meaning of “rad” in 1983. I actually wrapped duct tap around the toes of my Van’s high tops so I would look like those guys.

  16. Chezedog October 21, 2009 at 6:01 pm #

    Turn off FOX and get a flu shot, you.

  17. ryan October 21, 2009 at 7:18 pm #
    facts are almost always better than fear. yes, it is a remote possibility that she developed dystonia from the flu vac., but there are also a large number of unknown factors that could have caused this.

  18. DaveYeti October 21, 2009 at 11:32 pm #

    there’s a big difference between an adult making a decision not to vaccinate himself against a disease(s) that may infect and kill others and the decision that crazy ass parents make against vaccinating their helpless kids against diseases that could kill them before they even know wtf is going on.
    just sayin

  19. D.Matt October 22, 2009 at 6:30 am #

    Dystonia case follow up:

  20. Photo-John October 22, 2009 at 1:11 pm #

    Thanks for the Gutter Twins tip. Good stuff.

  21. JP October 22, 2009 at 3:47 pm #

    I vaccinate myself with tequila. Is that bad?

  22. Levi Johnston October 22, 2009 at 5:23 pm #

    The effects of Dystonia are kind of sexy. If that cheerleading business falls through, that woman is welcome to front my no wave band.