Hump day’s for humping.

“Hey Stevil, that’s a very clever title. Good call.”
“Why thank you Stevil. You’re very polite and marginally good looking.”
“Thank you, so are you.”
“Why, thank you.”
“Let’s party.”
My hangover from Sunday just made it’s way out of the room, so to celebrate, here is a picture of a cake;

For now there is a whole lot of detritus to discuss, so we might as well get down to it.
At the head of today’s post, I would like to bring your attention to an email that was sent to me from a likable douchebag about a buddy of his who is clawing his way back up from a devastating crash. Instead of attempting to put my own spin on the story, I’ll just lay it out from the horse’s mouth;
I’ve been waiting to ask for your help in this matter so the Williams family could pull this all together.
My good friend Kirk, and when I say good friend I mean like cutting trees down in the backyard, try and teach an old dog (me) to ride a wheelie, mountain bike race team mate good friend, friend had a bit of a mishap this past fall. The boy broke his fricken neck…sort of.
Now you know how I like to take care of the ones I love and Kirk is one of those people I think the world of even though he moved to Boulder where they take bike riding seriously and not so much as a card or a come see me or a ‘get bent’ (didn’t I just say he was a good friend?) but now I’m rambling. What I’m needing is to tap into this here intertube and access some cash for my boy. The links here and here will help but it is a bit of a pain in the proverbial ass due to insurance what with the giving and then the coverage and insurance companies not liking spinal cord injuries and trying to get out of coughing up enough cash to take care of the William’s needs.
Cripes, this email is long…So Ray (father) and Julie (mother) live here in Virginia, by the way everyone should come visit me soon, it’s a wonderful place, have jobs and have to fly out to Denver and stay in hotels and Kirk has needs.
Short story long, give and give often because my boy Kirk is coming out of this and will ride again and that’s worth all the tea in China.
So There,

It seems that everyone I know is balled up financially, and when something like this rears its ugly head, we’re all pretty fortunate to have a network of folks like we do to reach out to. So here is to keeping a candle lit for Kirk’s recovery and throwing a bit of aide to him in assisting him on that road.
In other news of the whirld, as an upstanding profhessianal person, I shouldn’t neglect to take the opportunity to thank my most recent advertisers/benefactors/sugar daddies at Planet Bike. They’re good people who make good things for good people, and I’m honored that they should be interested in pulling up a chair.
As a visual aide, here is a photo of Marko from Planet Bike, taking his house to the shop;
Now then.. If we can get back to the mailbag for a second, one of the main stays in said bag is our friend George. Well, the boy’s been strangely silent as of late and I either was chalking it up to him being mad at me, going to jail, or a combination of the two. I was relieved recently when jumping back and fourth between my inbox and Dale Jr.s site what should show up but an email from the man himself.
(George, not Junior);
I’ve been on three rides in the past 2 weeks which has been incredible when my taint hasn’t been frozen to the seat. flat pedals, hiking boots, mittens, neil young and the national led me through a lovely dusk to dark spin across dirt, snow pack and a bit of asphalt. At one point Neil stopped crooning which resulted in a complete stop to change the tunes that resulted in seeing one enormous shooting star across the galaxy. killer.
Yesterday (terrifyingly) I rode the fixed machine in a 40mph head/sidewind on hard pack ice over to the grand opening of Aloha Mountain Cyclery in Carbondale where they raffled off a surly big dummy and had a couple of computrainer bikes set up for racing. Goldsprints may be the “rage,” but the computerized crazy trainer things sure do put up one hell of a fight and you get to race the pants off one another. basically, you’re like, huh – how about a 2 mile 13% climb – check or maybe a slight incline vomit fest. anyway these trainers are awesome.
CFO and I met last week at a bar about 2 minutes before last call and I’m surprised that I remember and that I made it out alive. good shit, good dudes and good times.
whatever, check out this dude Andreas Kapsalis rewrite the book of shred.
enjoy the rain,

It’s always nice to hear from that George.
I also got an email from Nick. You guys remember Nick, right?
Good old Nick….
I hope this finds you mending well and that the weather out west is better than the weather in NYC. As you noted in Monday’s post this time of year can be brutal in the motivation department. This little video has been serving as my kick in the pants to get going and log some mileage for a little while:

I hope you enjoy it. Stay Rad.

I did enjoy it, but as I sit here, questioning just how much juice I have in my hand and how far I might be able to push it without the risk of sending myself back to square one, watching some of that makes me cringe.
There’s a smile on my face, no doubt. It just has a little bitter sweetness to it…
In closing, would you now like to broach the subject of USAC’s new rule banning feeds one more time?
El Capitan Tremendesio Super Sporty would;
I didn’t think this was suited for a “comment”, hence the e-mail. On the subject of hand-ups, do we really know who is doing the handing? If we look back, the Bartali-Coppi/Coppi-Bartali hand up comes to mind. This famous photo seems to show Bartali handing the bottle to Coppi, or is it the other way around? There has long been debate about this in Italy. When Bartali passed away (after Coppi), someone spray painted “When you see Coppi, tell him to give the bottle back…” on the side of a freeway overpass, suggesting that the issue may never be settled.
If photographs are to be presented as evidence at USA cycling hearings, I suspect the cases might not be as air tight as they first seem. It’s not as if the lawyers can call into question the character of either party, since both are usually lacking in that dept. Most likely they will just throw the book at both of them. “I’ve been banned from USA sanctioned cross racing… a spectator”. Be careful folks. Just because someone offers you something doesn’t mean you have to take it. And what could be worse than not being allowed to watch people race bikes?”

Well if they have their way, it would be like saying “I only want some of the rain drops to fall on my head, but those other rain drops.. they have to fall somewhere else.”
A certain race promoter attempted to do just that to a group of ner-do-wells back in the 90s, and with veins bulging was heard frantically saying “you people are never to be allowed at one of my events, ever!”
Fat lotta good that did him.
My point is, there will always be the people who follow every rule to the letter, because that is how they were raised, and that is how they live their lives.
Then there are those who buck they system just to spite it. Though I subscribe to one above the other, I’m not saying that either is superior. After all, you cannot have the yin without the yang, young Grasshopper.
I’m sure that there will certainly be some panties bunched as this rule grows legs, and some unfair disqualifications might occur.
For example, Adam Craig, Molly Cameron, or Kendall Ryan might be disqualified from the world renowned ‘Cross Vegas Cyclocross Extravaganza’ because they took a dollar (or in Adam’s case, a gigantic slice of pizza, and in Molly’s case, whatever was within reach) from someone’s hand, who in turn could now realistically be ejected as well.
Though that would be somewhat akin to being kicked off a short bus for being too smart, it would still be unfortunate for the parties involved.
Or at least for whoever paid the racer’s entry fee, anyway.
All I know is that I have my opinion, which really matters in the least, and due to this ruling, I may very well find myself in hot water directly, or at the very least as collateral damage.
Either way, I probably should go on record to declare that I absolutely don’t care.
As I said before, when hand-ups (or in some cases, hand-downs) are outlawed, only outlaws will engage in such activities, and at that point, I’m sure the world will just keep on turning.
One thing I can say with complete authority and unfaltering truth however, is that the original claim made by the man behind the Cross Vegas Cyclocross Extravaganza that ‘real pros don’t take hand-ups’, thanks to Jeremy from Vanity Bikes, would appear to have finally been epically and completely debunked.
So really at this point, no matter on which side of the debate you sit, you can pretty much stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
Or if you wish, as the beginning of this post directs, put that in your cake and eat it..

Spread this like it's sick

Leave a Reply

14 Responses to “Hump day’s for humping.”

  1. reverend dick January 27, 2010 at 9:54 am #

    Bartali handed the bottle up.

  2. YATE January 27, 2010 at 10:23 am #

    Eject / ban everyone. Damn the man, save the empire.
    And so forth.

  3. Nick January 27, 2010 at 11:17 am #

    Who’s gonna ruin races if everyone is banned?

  4. Pinto January 27, 2010 at 12:06 pm #

    Holy. Shit. That Colt Fake vid is the best I’ve seen in awhile. But at 1:13 he’s clearly dq’d….Damn shame.

  5. a41 January 27, 2010 at 12:27 pm #

    Yeah, Bartali handed the bottle up to Fausto “steve carell impersonatour” Coppi.

  6. Beefy McManstick January 27, 2010 at 12:45 pm #

    Cake and Cock Sparrer? Best post ever!

  7. warthog January 27, 2010 at 2:08 pm #

    Shit, just look at the photo. Bartali with bottles in both cages + Coppi with two empty cages = Bartali to Coppi handup. Coppi kinda does look like Steve Carell in that photo though. Weird.

  8. Jay January 27, 2010 at 4:18 pm #

    I ride with Kirk’s Dad when he comes down to the Outer Banks for work. Small world.

  9. pedalman January 27, 2010 at 6:37 pm #

    Do not depair young grasshopper. The wrist will heal. The rain will end. There will be sunshine and singletrack and all will be radtarded and the douchebags will be vanquished!

  10. pilderwasser January 27, 2010 at 8:08 pm #

    you fucking kick fucking ass like a bag of BBQ cornnuts in the back of the van on a roadtrip to Reno. I’m not joking I look at a few sites everyday and yours is one of them. word.

  11. Erik January 27, 2010 at 10:23 pm #

    I can not fully condone the cornnuts/van/Reno scenario. Being from/in Reno there is no need to come here. The rest is radtarded though.

  12. Loudass, Esq. January 28, 2010 at 12:11 pm #

    Wait a minute: Reno has good pawn shops, strippers, and gun stores. And the Peppermill. Show a little a respect for the place…

  13. N@ January 28, 2010 at 1:06 pm #

    Shit, next year just ban cross vargas and have better race down the street. The course should pass through the McD’S drive through, and perhaps the drive through chapel, and include a burger and a beer hand up from an Elvis impersonator, or perhaps the man himself.

  14. irishpunk59 January 29, 2010 at 8:15 am #

    shit looks like a Jack LaLane stunt pulling the Airstream, course Jack would have it tied on his nuts or sumthin. And hey now no shit talk on Reno, I have come up with our new slogan “at least we’re not Las Vegas”