Jason sent that video with no information attached other than that “they don’t make them like they used to.”
Of course there I was as usual, whiling away the afternoon with a head full of liquid acid, an assortment of watermelon flavored candies, and a dozen chattering teeth.
Ready for a bunch of rubbery USO dames I was not.
I hope that you all had a forgiving couple of days away from the proverbial salt mines.
As you might well imagine I spent a better part of the weekend nursing my little pal back to health, and picking the pieces of my jaw up off the floor after I was presented with the bill for his care;
You know, through this, I have realized that I’m not so much a cat person, or a dog person as I am an animal person. I would assume that I perhaps missed my calling as a veterinarian, if I didn’t become so absolutely shattered any time I saw a fuzzy buddy in distress.
“Where’s Dr. Kinevil?” the techs would say.. “Ohhh.. He’s in his office crying about the gerbil he had to put down this morning..”
I’m all hairy and pissed on the outside, but in my chest beats the heart of a sissy.
One of these days soon however, that sissy heart will once again be pumping an excess of blood to all parts of my body as I reenlist in the forces of people who ride bikes outside.
The day is coming.
I can feel it… Until then however, I remain toiling away in my garage. Every bike has new cables and housing, cassettes have been cleaned with care in the bathroom sink, derailleurs have been adjusted, and dried dirt clumps chipped away from clipless pedals.
Truth be told, I don’t think my bikes have ever received such attention. Once I turned the final set screw and greased the last thread, as I mentioned before, I got cracking teaching myself the finer points of faking my way through Photoshop. I wouldn’t exactly call it a New Year’s resolution simply because I’ve been promising myself that this is something I would do for some time.
Taking care of the pile of t-shirts that’s threatening to come crashing down and suffocate me in my sleep is next on the to-do list, but like with most things in my life, there is always tomorrow.
As far as today goes, I am proud to now throw up a collection displaying the fruits of my labor;
This here photo is a shot of HOSS. He is a photographer who has a web log called ‘Hoss Drinks Beer In The Woods With His Friends’ on account of because he does;
Actually not all of my time is spent mucking around on the computer. Some of it is spent documenting the effects of nature. For example, on January 7th, at some time or another in the morning, we here in the Republic of Northern California experienced a 4. something magnitude earthquake, (the exact details of which I can’t recall, because I was busy maintaining my quaff). I did however retain the presence of mind to snap a shot of myself reeling in the after effects of said quake in hopes of having some legal recourse due to the fact that as a result, I stained my nicest casual wear;
Once I calmed my jangled nerves I went back to work on my masterpieces;
Like for example, this one of John maybe, possibly, feasibly, plausibly, practically, and Prolly Is Not Probably;
Wishing that I could go back and see what some of my friends were like in high school is occasionally an idea that crosses my mind.
“Would so-and-so and I have been friends, or would they have been the object of my torment?”
In my mind’s eye, Loudass probably would have been the latter.
I’ve like the idea of nicknames. When I was in the first grade I remember wanting people to call me Rocky.
Suffice it to say, ‘Rocky’ never stuck.
Through my life however, there have been a number of people whose nicknames have ranged from the creative to the staggeringly obvious. For examples, there is Michelle who is known as Miss Hell, and Big Dave who is known as.. well… Big Dave.
The folks in Minneapolis have always been good about conjuring up and then maintaining nicknames. There’s Tito, Kenny Bloggins, Hurl, Catboxxx, Zitox, The Buzzard, Chevil, and so on. In some cases folks that have spent a fair amount of time there don’t even need secondary monikers.
Take Wakeman for example. His name is so cool he didn’t even need a nickname.
Anyway, my point is that I have used individual’s nicknames for fodder in my new hobby as well. Case in point, Skinny Bee, who now will be known as gay-ripped-and-keeps-his-head-covered-in-the-tanning-booth-Bee;
Or as Danny B has affectionately dubbed him, Shiteye Bee;
For my part, my own sobriquet was hard won, as for some reason nicknames have never suited me. To the best of my knowledge, ‘Stevil Kinevil’ came about a decade ago in a drunken haze while playing with fire in a backyard somewhere, though of that I can’t even be certain.
To be safe however, because I’m so obviously capable of delivering the package, I have decided to simply change my name to ‘U.P.S’;
I’m sympathetic that so far in today’s post there might be a little bit too much dudeskin being thrown around for some people’s tastes. I can dig that. For those of you who might feel as such, I offer this total hack job of former professional mountain bike racer, primary recipient of scorn in the first 50 Yards of Hell, and current resident in my home town of Evergreen Colorado, Mr. Daryl Price;
I feel good about this one.
Or at least I will until Daryl and I cross paths again. And to that end, I understand his wife was none to pleased with my antics at the 1999 SSWC, so I’m sure that my treatment of her husband’s likeness will secure me in her heart just that much more.
Sunday saw the last of this area’s cross races for the season. My heart was heavy because this particular venue is one of my very favorites. Instead of going to the race I (shudder) went running and then made a vague attempt to spend the afternoon at the Death Star® to finally get the AHTBM store up and running.
Suffice it to say, it’s still in the works. Then again, you know what they say about rushing perfection.
As we transition to a close in today’s installment, I can’t neglect to include many thanks to Andrew for the use of this week’s header photo;
The title that he’s given this particular photo is “Everything That’s Right With Cycling”, and I can’t say that I disagree with him in the least.
Finally, Patrick from Red Kite Prayer contacted me and made mention of the 2010 Bloggie Awards. I am not entirely sure what this would mean for AHTBM to win such an honor, but if it allows me to be that much closer to buying a giant purple hat and a 1979 Trans Am, then it is on bended knee that I beg for you to take a minute out of you day to vote.
I suppose I would fall under the ‘Sports weblog’ category, though I’m not entirely certain if I maybe shouldn’t be included under either the ‘Canadian weblog’ or ‘Teen weblog’ categories due to the fact that I’ve A) been there, and B) was one once..
Secondly, if I win, I will do everything in my power to assure that the celebration party will have no fewer than fifteen margarita pissing statues, and a live performance by Shirley and Company.
However, you have to bring your own satin pantsuit and whimsically colored kerchief.
It’s Monday, so get cracking. Geebuz would want it that way.