I’m a liar.

At the conclusion of Monday’s post I’d mentioned that I had incriminating photos of Ruth Buzzi. That was totally false, and I was so high on Spencer’s love that I made the part up about the monkey and the fly friendship video too. Lucky for me though, I can rely on my ever increasingly mediocre photoshop skills to at least provide a near facsimile of the former;

I was actually in the process of burning breakfast while I made this one up, which got me to thinking that one day I’d like to see a show consisting of a bunch of contestants attempting to do the best possible photoshop job they could while simultaneously attempting to make breakfast for their girlfriends before they have to go to work.
If this was my entry, I suspect I woulda lost.
Just as I was putting the finishing touches on the above masterpiece however, photographer extraordinaire Bob Croslin was apparently able to take some time away from hanging out with P. Diddy on his yacht to send me this video;

It might be a reflection of my incredibly low standards, but finding out that people do projects such as this tends to give me a warm feeling of hope for the future of humanity.
Now then, aside from whoring myself out to perspective advertisers, selling my clothes, CDs, blood, hair and semen to afford to pay my bills, I’ve recently taken a sojourn into the totally unfamiliar territory of freelance writing. I call it a sojourn because I don’t know how long I’ll be staying here.
That is to say, I don’t know how long it will be before my client wakes up from their powdered donut induced haze and realizes that though I am incredibly good looking, the fact of the matter is, I can’t string a sentence together to save my life. Well, as I was hanging out with them on Tuesday, I came to find out that the design company who had been contracted to do their visuals, are actually some other friends of mine from a company called Juice Design. Since it had been a little while since I’d seen any of those cats, we swung by for an unannounced visit to first stand around and look cosmopolitan;
Not being very good at that activity however, I immediately made a b-line to the roof to take in the sights with CP;
and to see Mr. Owl;
and then finally to take a spy photo of a mystery individual, who if can be named will award said namer with a AHTBM prize pack, which will most likely consist of an array of products so incredible that it might make your head explode.
So in short, and because I don’t think the above sentence makes any sense, tell me who is the focal point of the photo, and get yourself some goodies;
Bonus points will be awarded to those who can tell me what the hell he is still doing in San Francisco.
In news of art that sucks so badly that it doesn’t suck, Dylan got ahold of me with this offering;
Re: For the artist in you.
“A couple swiss dudes getting rad with colored pencil
Regardless of the quality of the drawings, I have always been a sucker for large scale installations such as this, and it’s somewhat reminiscent of a show I saw many years ago at the old Capp Street Project in San Francisco for which the artist on display had a daily hour and a half train commute to work, so he did what any self respecting creative sort would do, and for ten years created a single painting each way. The show consisted of something like 10,000 one inch by one inch paintings hung from floor to ceiling, all over every inch of available wall space in the gallery. While I’m sure it was an art installer’s absolute nightmare, it really was something to behold, and disproved the old adage that quality isn’t necessarily always better than quality.
Finally, since this here generally is a bike related weblog, I’ll include a shot of another incredible ride I had yesterday. The birds were chirping, and the wind was in my face as a traversed a winding and little traveled road, through fields of roaming Snuffleupagusus, this time on the coast of Southern France in 1927;
It really was something to behold.
Welp, welcome again to hump day. It’s the middle of the week, and for the first time in a few, the clock is ticking on other obligations, so I’m going to cut this one off and wish you all a fond farewell until the next installment.

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23 Responses to “I’m a liar.”

  1. stupidpuma January 6, 2010 at 6:36 am #

    Scott Bourne?

  2. Velorambling January 6, 2010 at 6:38 am #

    I say the pic is of the person in the front seat of the grey car with the roofrack. You know where to send my loot. I’ll be waiting.

  3. devo January 6, 2010 at 6:43 am #

    Ummm… I’d guess your buddy Dave from Evil? What’s he doing in ‘da Bay Area? Perhaps getting some Evil merchandise together, other than socks?
    that’s all I got at this early hour.

  4. Fat Chance January 6, 2010 at 6:56 am #

    Good luck at the new gig.

  5. Brent Marshall January 6, 2010 at 7:28 am #

    How many WTB saddles can one person own?

  6. Bob C January 6, 2010 at 7:46 am #

    Diddy sent me the Metallagher link. He’s a huge fan.

  7. Gypsy January 6, 2010 at 8:42 am #

    “…though I am incredibly good looking, the fact of the matter is, I can’t string a sentence together to save my life.”
    Ironically, that’s actually a pretty well put together sentence. Although a bit long… Ever hear of a period?

  8. MikeH January 6, 2010 at 9:20 am #

    You live in CA correct? Why in the hell are you ever on rollers? Christ if I could find the asphalt here, I’d be all over it. For your sake I hope one of the following are applicable: a)Instead of skin your covered in thin layer of the same protective powder applied to Popeye cigarettes b)Your in protective custody and hence seclusion because of your testimony in Grundelgate or c) your related to these poor bastards. http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/cbc/091221/canada/canada_britishcolumbia_bc_viviers_prince_rupert_porphyria

  9. Stevil January 6, 2010 at 9:24 am #

    You are correct, but due to an injury I’ve been relegated to the rollers. It’s ether that, or nothing, and frankly, I just don’t think I could handle nothing.

  10. kale January 6, 2010 at 9:34 am #

    ‘quality isn’t necessarily always better than quality.’
    You proved your point.
    The photo is of Celtics point guard Rajon Rondo. He’s out in the 415 ‘repping’ the National Guard.

  11. marko January 6, 2010 at 9:49 am #

    i was gonna say ol’ black arm myself. stupidpuma beat me to it.

  12. grfegrf January 6, 2010 at 10:26 am #

    “I play a real sport for real men, not trying to be the best at fucking exercising. …”

  13. HansInColorado January 6, 2010 at 10:58 am #

    I’m guessing it’s Floyd Landis on the phone with Michael Ball scheduling out when would be a good time to sign onto the team, and when they can switch clothes again. What a night! Throw the horns.

  14. JP January 6, 2010 at 11:19 am #

    It be yo Pimp, Beee-yaach!!

  15. reverend dick January 6, 2010 at 12:18 pm #

    Nah. It’s clearly Michael Jackson crossing the street. He ain’t dead, he’s everwhere.

  16. Chezedog January 6, 2010 at 1:22 pm #

    Can Guns ‘N’ Roseanne be far behind?

  17. Troy B. January 6, 2010 at 1:23 pm #

    Pssst…Steve..buddy… got any more of those HAWT Ruth Buzzi pics. I’d like to umm… study them for … historical reference for… a ..umm.. paper that I’m working on yea. Also if you have any photos of School Lunchroom Ladies, like them all hot, sweaty photos “using” large serving spoons, spatulas, and saying ” What you want?!” or “Hey honey” and “sugar”, etc. Please be descreet, thanks!

  18. flynn January 6, 2010 at 2:11 pm #

    easy, that’s Bodie from The Wire working the corner. you ship to france, right?

  19. Case January 6, 2010 at 3:30 pm #

    Is it Bodie or is it Froggy from Pootie Tang? I always get them mixed up. All wrong though, black dude is Rakwon and the white dude is obviously Ghost Face Killah, they’re trying to keep their reunion tour on the DL until you fucked it up Steve. Asshole.

  20. leif January 6, 2010 at 5:54 pm #

    david byrne or steve austin

  21. chiefrock January 6, 2010 at 9:55 pm #

    Guns ‘N’ Roseanne? I call and raise you a Guns N Rosa Parks

  22. Ezra Manners January 6, 2010 at 11:45 pm #

    is it Kirk, in SF to catch a plane to Seattle?

  23. Chezedog January 7, 2010 at 8:59 am #

    Samhain Kinison?