You know.. Like they are in Boulder.
Photo courtesy Ritte Van Vlaanderen
As was pointed out to me several times at the end of last week, the puppet master behind the ‘Debacle In The Desert’ is relinquishing his strangle hold on the event to take on the task of moving Cross Nationals to Boulder, Colorado USA.
As Ghostship Matt pointed out, this may very well mean that under a different directive, CrossVegas might actually revert to what it was the first year it was held; A light hearted event full of fun, and camaraderie for competitors and spectators alike. Might we once again bear witness to Nat Ross and his brilliant libation snatching skills on the run up? Could we live to behold Adam Craig once again rounding the turns with a piece of pizza dangeling from his mouth? And dare I say, will it be possible that we see Molly Cameron drinking the second beer of her life while in the heat of competition?
Due to the fact that during the sophomore year of this event a few bad apples truly did spoil the bunch with what I only vaguely remember to be glaring offenses, I suspect that the law has been laid. Time will tell, and until the call for fifteen dollar cover charges, and no open containers has once again been made, I remain cautiously optimistic.
I wish Golf Clap well in his bid to show the world how seriously the sport should be taken, and I hope for everyone’s sake, all attendees follow in lockstep with his directive.
Never one to follow anyone’s rules, DPow! sent an email that has nothing to do with anything but sheer mediocrity, and the mind numbing antics of a couple contemporary musical acts.
However should said sheer mediocrity be wrapped in a body suit and American flag cape, I’m game;
“Just in case anyone missed the aforementioned Ke$ha performance:
Which is perhaps the best live performance from someone I’ve never heard from ever.”
In response, John drew the line, and laid it all out on top;
“Your mind: prepare to have it blown
1) Ke$ha says what if we’re the aliens?
2) Brokencyde are from New Mexico
3) Arizona has apparently lost its collective mind and wants to keep out illegal aliens.
4) Ke$ha says what if we’re the aliens?
Brokencyde is from NM and NM is next to AZ
5) AZ, yer totally fucked now.”
I’ll let you take a minute to collect your brains from the floor.
She’s a sage of wisdom, that Ke$ha is.
Life around these parts found me handling an assortment of chores, not the least of which was putting the finishing touches on a piece I wrote for the upcoming issue of Bike Monkey Magazine (it took me about 15 minutes to write and three weeks to edit), stripped my beloved Hunter mountain bike for repaints and repairs;
-spent a fair amount of time wheeling around with Jordi, Alex and Brij;
(As I’ve been battling a spring cold for the last two weeks, I was reluctant to go out with them. Each of them is no slouch on a bike. Fortunately for me, on their side there was an array of fatigue, and hangovers, so the playing field was reasonably level.)
and also witnessed a bunch of grown men in stretchy pants and tap shoes laying around on the ground;
Now, before the cops get here, I suppose we should throw out a couple of emails, the first being the standard dash of brilliance from The Snakehawk;
“Fucking pin it, bro. Find that piece and you’ve found forever.”
Believe me, this is a truth I know all too well. The next time I find impossible ridiculousness in sweater form, I am going to hold on to it with both hands and never let it go;
I dare not bring up the saga relating to the clown sweater again, because it just hurts too badly. I suppose if any of you don’t recall the story, and ask nicely, I will face my demons and tell the tale again…
The moral is, if you love something, don’t set it free. Attack it with a choke hold so it can never escape.
Someone who understands this all too well is my old friend Dan from Shifter Bikes. This bit of news is months old at this stage, but then again, I suppose if you were really interested in timely reports about factual events, you would look elsewhere. Anyhow, the point is Dan’s relocated his studio, and after piles of trials and tribulations the past year, has finally landed on his feet;
As it turns out, I get more invitations to come visit friends in Melbourne than I do to see my own parents. One of these days, I really have to bite the bullet and roll through for a spell.
And by ‘one of these days’ I mean this fall sometime. I can almost guarantee it..
Finally, from our friend Kevin at Cog Magazine, we get a heads up on these;
As I told Kevin regarding the Trackosaurus buttons, I don’t really feel like the track bike needs saving. Messengers on the other hand.. That’s a sentiment I can get behind.
Ok retards, and rettardettes, I’m up and out. High five your asses for me.