Sweep the leg, wing, and breast, Johnny.

Who has two thumbs and just got a new order of stickers in?

This guy.
Of course it could just as easily be you, unless you don’t have two thumbs.
I wouldn’t dare hold that against you however.
If a new AHTBM decal design is what would make your world right, then by all means, pick some up.
“But what do they mean?” you might be asking yourself, and to that I can only respond with “exactly.”
This next piece of news is old by now. At least in terms of internet age, the shelf life for most items for which is about four hours at best, but I wouldn’t feel right not being one to include as well.
The number one reason Jens Voigt is more deserving of tough guy jokes made about him over Chuck Norris, Bobby De Niro, and Punchy, the boxing Kangaroo combined.
After they made Jens, they truly did break the mold.
Though that phrase is not always indicative of someone that is of an admirable quality.
Case in point? The following link that was sent to me by Aron;
“One moustache is never enough.”
Like the kids say, “true dat, Aron… True dat.”
Now, as much as I would like to assume the forehead moustache is photoshopped, I know this is not the case.
I would also like to mention that my Voigt/Taxi driver mashup might be one of my finest efforts yet.
Relating to this, Brian Vernor gave me a heads up concerning some straight up nonsense;
From what i’ve seen over on the Black Market it seems you’re becoming a Jedi of photoshop. I’m not sure if this will get you a job at BP, because they got some guy working there with skills that rival your own;
Such an f’n joke that journalists are barred from truly reporting on the gulf spill. That’s what we get if we let BP report on the spill.
kind of like what we get when BP reports on the safety of it’s own wells.

Firstly, I have to say that I’m not terribly surprised by this. Disappointed yes, but not surprised. Secondly, I should mention that not only could I have done a much better job at constructing a far cleaner looking image of the fake BP command post, but each of those individuals would have a fine looking penis attached to their heads, because after all, that is my motif;
After all, who better to be illustrated as dickheads than the shameful excuse for humanity that BP has proven themselves to be?
In news of bicycles, and bicycle related athletic events.. As I mentioned at the top of this week, I am fairly certain that in regards to Tour de France rider Andy Schelck’s misfortune in stage 15, my utterance of the phrase ‘Chaingate’ was among the first;
chaingateScreen shot 2010-07-22 at 8.32.jpg
Besides the previously linked article, the ever aware Nick from Biyckel notified me that indeed during stage 17, one of the Eurosport commentators uttered the phrase ‘Chaingate’. This occurrence confirms that I do in fact have a bright suture in this profession, and am more than happy to come up with as many turns of phrase as Phil, Paul, or any of the rest desire.
From Cory at Kona Bikes I got this little slice of wonderment:

Not much to say about that one, except that 50 Tyson is pretty good with the numbers.
“Hit me up. And I’m sweet sixteen. Right now I’m sixteen. And then next year I’ll be…
And then I’ll be what?
Seventeen, all day, I will be seventeen next year. Sweet seventeen, all day every day.”

In closing, I have a little jpeg reminder describing just how operations within the confines of the AHTBM world headquarters exist from day to day;
It’s Friday. Take whatever thumbs you have at your disposal, turn it up, break it off, and make no apologies to anyone.

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Leave a Reply

10 Responses to “Sweep the leg, wing, and breast, Johnny.”

  1. matt July 23, 2010 at 8:26 am #

    hell yeah 50 TYSON

  2. kimbrolio July 23, 2010 at 8:36 am #

    Man, that copperplate sure is pleasing to the eyes. Forgot inspirational jpegs, you should write your entire blog with it!

  3. Nick July 23, 2010 at 9:43 am #

    If my hair wasn’t racing for the back of my head, I too would have a forehead mustache.

  4. Lanolin July 23, 2010 at 10:37 am #

    You’ve performed your duties proudly, Stevil. You’re the best penis-on-face photoshopper we have at Ritte.

  5. Andy Reimer July 23, 2010 at 2:14 pm #

    Jens Voight compared himself to Conan the Barbarian! There can be no argument. He must now become my favorite cyclist of all time. (he was previously top 3)

  6. Bluenoser July 23, 2010 at 7:11 pm #

    Things are tough when you are in front of the camera Stevil. Like when you were drinking beer with Fit Chick and that other guy… you had to swill beer and think quick on your feet.
    Oh yeah you were sitting.
    You are a grown man and this boy is… well he’s not sure. So 50 needs a “brake”.

  7. bRado1 July 24, 2010 at 10:59 am #

    Whoa! Double Mustache! What does it mean!

  8. Skippy July 26, 2010 at 1:23 pm #

    Do you suppose 50 Tyson needs to shack up on top of the 117 N. Washington. He could be legendary at 17.5.

  9. Snake Hawk July 26, 2010 at 8:36 pm #

    calling out copperplate is a move vor doze mit ein obshession.

  10. Ken August 3, 2010 at 8:19 pm #

    Get ’em a body bag Jonnneeeee!! New Zealand Rocks!!!