“Remember Danny – Two wrongs don’t make a right but three rights make a left.”


You might be curious what Caddyshack has to do with anything (other than being the greatest movie of all time, ever.)

The salad days, when cocaine fueled the movie industry.
You see, I’ve been thinking about polo shirts lately, and the fact that not many folks wore a polo better than Mr. Ty Webb. I myself have never been much of a polo shirt wearer, but as of last Tuesday, am about to start.
As I do from time to time, I stopped by to see The Skipper and AndywhoIhaveyettogiveanicknameto at the warehouse. My first order of business was to steal some candy and do some work on the tuna sandwich and can of beer that were in my backpack.
The second order of business was to grab one of their new Campy polo shirts;
According to their website, this is made of a proprietary blend known as ‘lightweight e²-tech fabric’.
“During the early 1940s scientists working in Swobo’s secret underground lab had been recklessly pushing the envelope of evaporative efficiency (e²) in an effort to produce a material capable of cooling a soldier (or rider) before he even got hot. During what might otherwise have been a serious accident, these scientists also discovered that their miracle fiber could also evaporate spilled beer nearly instantaneously, effectively protecting the wearer from spill-based embarrassment. What they produced was e²-tech fabric, a material designed to maximize coolness in every situation. Recognizing the humanitarian potential of their discovery, Swobo’s scientists published the process of manufacturing this super-material. Today it is used around the world and is now known as polyester.”

Plus it’s got a little loop from the front from which you can hang an emergency snack;
Shot in black and white to retain artistic integrity.
In the short time I’ve had it in my possession I’ve already tested it in both its cooling properties as well as beer repellence.
The next tests will be the ‘spend several days in a row, and also sleep in the same shirt’ assessment.
Results will be forthcoming, but for now, I am a believer.
In other news, not totally unrelated to black shirts, Captain Dave sent an email to let us know that despite the Ironclad team being comprised of a bunch of dirtbags, they still can ride the hell out of their bikes;
“Dig it.
Rapha Ride – 120 miles, 6300 feet of climb, 96 degrees.
Ironclad men place best time on the day, winning all the beer, 27 cases to be exact, for each team in the race. Top notch. Winners.
This after winning the Twilight Crit in downtown Portland Friday night, and before placing a champion in Sunday’s state hill climb championship race.
Thank you for your support!

For power, I would like to take that jersey and scrape some of its seasoning onto an avocado. Gods would bow before me.
As we steer away from black things to black names, Andrew from Blackbook stencils (the creator of the new AHTBM stencil set donchaknow?) emailed me with an image suitable for framing;
Chewing on raw sausage links can ease the pain of incoming baby teeth.
In an additional thought regarding all that is black, Chopper of BIKE Magazine fame, as well as Smith Optics sent me an email depicting what he simply refers to as the ‘black tambourine’;
Damn the luck. Wouldn’t you know that this had to happen just before the annual Left handed High Five World Championships. That guy just can’t get a break.
No pun intended.
Keeping with the theme, from the previously mentioned bicycle utopia that is Portlandia East, where black is the color of their souls, I received this event flyer for a bicycle related event that was drawn up custom by the mighty pen of Mr. Roger Lootine;
There is sure to be politeness, civility, and reserved imbibement the whole day through.
With what little time we have left here today, I have a request. It occurred to me recently that it might not be a bad idea to begin collecting random imagery of AHTBM goods caught in the wild. If it’s a shot of you posing, that’s fine. If it’s a shot of you winning;
aaaharwood and spahr in the sprints.jpg
Even better. If it’s a candid shot of some fetching creature standing across a crowded room wearing a cap, or a homeless guy in a cardboard box wearing a t-shirt, all of my dreams would be answered.
If you’re still confused, this might clear things up.
If you have already emailed me a photo, then do it again. My inbox and photo files are a complete disaster. Starting from scratch is my middle name.
I thank you for you time and consideration on this matter.
So with the conclusion of today’s post, all is right with the world, and you know exactly what you need to.
Black is black, and the weekend is upon us.
If there are any questions left unanswered, just remember the following;
“Be the ball, Danny.”

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6 Responses to ““Remember Danny – Two wrongs don’t make a right but three rights make a left.””

  1. Velorambling August 20, 2010 at 6:10 am #

    Wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?

  2. Dwight Trashe August 20, 2010 at 8:44 am #

    and just for our brothers and sisters out in Minneapplepuss-West, this recent quote by Mayor R.T. Rybak: “Portland is just another street in Minneapolis…”

  3. Nick August 20, 2010 at 10:16 am #

    Wanna see my AHTBM cap winning? It wins daily.

  4. Anti-stu August 20, 2010 at 10:24 am #

    “Your uncle molests collies.”

  5. Crank August 20, 2010 at 4:42 pm #

    Yeah, well, most of mine involve titties instead of bicycles, so you prolly don’t wanna see em.

  6. devin August 20, 2010 at 7:40 pm #

    Fnnnn shnnnn funnnnnnnnnn
    and to think I grew up to be a fire watcher