Tied to a chair by Al Gore’s internet.

Regarding Wednesday’s trivia corner, sometimes the Googles are too much of a good thing, as every bit of information one could hope to know can be found there, but alas, I like to think that the correct answer (which was finally provided for me by Jesse Englert) as well as all of the other attempts were bits of pre-existing information tucked away in the dark corners of the reader’s minds.
(Also, I’m going to get a second run out of the following graphic, on account of cause it’s sweet and it took me a long time to make.)

So yes, yes… The correct answer was Roland Liboton;
‘The Rolandinator’.. ‘The Beast from Belglandia’. J.P.H.N.H.’s former teammate and a monster of a bike racer who was the last world Champion to win a ‘Cross Worlds aboard a Guerciotti;
guerLIBOTON Roland.jpg
… And who apparently laughs like Ernie from ‘Sesame Street’.
Here is Roland in recent days, looking particularly De Niro-esque;
So to Jesse who wins the booty, and to Ghost Rider who came in second, congratulations on your big brains, but as we all know, second place is the first loser, so Jesse, shoot me an email with your address and I’ll send you your box of crap. Er… I mean Prizes..
In news of other greats from a time mostly forgotten, Furryknuckle sent me this piece of information concerning a recent passing;
“Re: To raise a toast in his honor may be inappropriate.
Radomir “skids” Simunek, cirrhosis of the liver at age 48. normally I’d raise a toast to the passing of a champion, but the irony in this case is too hard to bear.
That, and the fact that he was, even by eastern european standards, something of a cunt, makes me wonder instead if this is a more noble way to go down than having your heart burst while still in your twenties…”

That being said, this video tribute is reallyfuckingweird;

Anyway Radomir, rest in peace. Here’s to the demons not cursing you in the afterlife that so obviously did while you were here.
I seems suitable that I should take the chance to post the following trailer, which you might remember seeing here previously, for Brian Vernor’s latest offering, ‘The Cyclocross Meeting’.

From making films with a very specific and unique flavor, to growing the hell out of a beard in a matter of minutes, Brian half steps nothing, and I’m quite looking forward to seeing this in its entirety.
Back to the standard rigamarole, we’ve got some mailbag to get into.
Concerned that we might be curious as to B-Rad’s whereabouts, Huber sent in a heads up. (Pun obviously intended);
While on the topic of B-rad, here is another helping for you, and an update of sorts. Hurl sent out a call to a couple of Burleigh county residents last week to give us the heads up that B-rad was going to be passing through on a some what meandering cross country adventure to Florida. He was in town for only one night, and it was spent at Bismarck’s dirtiest of dirty karaoke bars ripping filters of cigs and burning them down. The next morning I heard he split, but I guess this warm North Dakota weather we’ve been experiencing must have got to the guy because when I showed up the next day at my buddy Lancescaping’s castle for a little BBQ, B-rad was still in Bismarck.
Apparently he made it to the world’s largest holstein before overheating and being rescued by Lancescaping via automobile. Anyway, he’s doing fine, we had some shots of tequila and beers that night to re-hydrate him, and I also got this photo of B-rad laughing in whiskey dick’s face.

From Malcolm T, I received a shout concerning an event, ala this past spring’s Gravel Metric Invitation;
“Dearest Stevil, I just wanted to write to make sure that you have seen this video:

If not, you must get with the times mon frere, it ‘totally dropped back in the day’ (which at the time of writing this email was 18 hours ago). Anyway, just wanted to shamefully plug this shit, should be tuns-o-fun, for details, checked out:
Pirate Cycling League(dot)com
Bring you bike, ride you bike, why not on gravel?
Yours truly,
PS, I haven’t throw up on my kit yet, what am I doing wrong?”

So there you go. If you find yourself in or around Lincoln, you know what to do.
As far as throwing up on your kit, if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.
So there you have it… Hard men of the past and hard men of the present all joined together in a single post. With the exception of drinking yourself or anyone around you to death, do as they say and do as they do.
As we jump from over there, all the hell the way to over here, I have a bit of a plea. You see, my old and very dear friend Heavy Metal Cookiehead (don’t hold her name against her. She was born to psychotics) has a young son struggling in the throes of Autism. After I read this article recently, I of course immediately thought of her.
So my plea is this, if any of the Black Market readership have an iPad that they are thinking of selling, giving away, or trading for any number of delightful vegetarian recipes, then get in touch with me and I will connect you.
In her words, “this might give my son a voice!”
From where I stand, that’s kinda hard to deny.
So it’s with that, and in the name of making the weekend ours, let’s hoist a clenched fist in the air and shout to the gods in unison, “All Hail.”

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10 Responses to “Tied to a chair by Al Gore’s internet.”

  1. TimothyDay August 13, 2010 at 6:30 am #

    RE : Software for Autism.
    Proloquo2go also runs on an ipod touch or an iphone. Which are cheaper/more easily stolen.

  2. bikemike August 13, 2010 at 8:09 am #

    Roland still looks like he could chew off your face like a pet monkey & not think twice about it.

  3. Jen Dial Santoro August 13, 2010 at 8:58 am #

    What about Daniele Pontoni in 1997? Either he switched bikes that year or he was on a Guerc.

  4. stevil August 13, 2010 at 9:10 am #

    Jen, now that you mention it you might be right. We’ll have to let H.N.H. weigh in on it, but I think the fact remains that he and Pontoni were never on the same team.

  5. Hurl Exotone August 13, 2010 at 9:19 am #

    Could only take about 2 min. of that reallyfuckingweird video tribute. I was hoping that the ‘Saxon’ kit referred to the NWOBHM pioneers of the same name. But then I see it’s a line of batteries & watches. Not only that, there’s also Breitex “pantys-socks-slips.” Oh, and B-rad’s a cocksucker…xoxo.

  6. Ghost Rider August 13, 2010 at 5:01 pm #

    Shoot — I “would” have won, but I had to wait for blog owner approval of my comment!
    Sour grapes, I know. In any case, rock on Jesse! Great minds think (or at least search the Intertubes) alike!

  7. stevil August 13, 2010 at 10:33 pm #

    Negative, Ghost Rider. Your comment came in seven hours after Jesse’s. Check the time imprint. I let nothing slip through the cracks.

  8. Ghost Rider August 14, 2010 at 5:26 am #

    Well, then I really AM “first loser”!!! I knew it in my heart but I just didn’t want to admit it…
    I also figured you knew what you were doing, Stevil — you’re a pretty sharp fella.
    Congratulations again, Jesse!!!

  9. Cookster August 15, 2010 at 6:50 am #

    Ah! So Eastern Europe has a bigger proportion of cunts than the rest of the world? Coming from an American? REALLY?! I think the Chinese say “when you point tne finger there’s three pointing back at you” – but I guess they’re just cunts too.

  10. Scott Larson August 17, 2010 at 4:11 pm #

    Hey Stevil, just sitting here w/ my bro in law and he spotted the Nebraska countryside right away. Anyway, he is painter photographer and I just hooked him up with a great Frankenstein bike. (He lives in Lincoln, NE)
    Once again a incredibly small world. BTW are you in love with Jordie?