Parker Stevenson is twice the man of Shawn Cassidy.

I will kick today’s post off with an additional reminder that the AHTBM/Pushbike bag making machine is poised at the ready. You want one? Yes you do.

As I mentioned previously, I would like to limit the runs of bags to smaller batches so as to not overwhelm Ian, the individual who lovingly crafts each of them by hand.
Place your order now, and I can almost guarantee that your bag’s thread will be spun from the beard hair of the man himself;
Also, if anyone can tell me what kind of bike Ian is riding in the above photo, you win the distinct honor of knowing your ass from a hole in the ground.
As long as we have broached the topic of holes in the ground, and how they may or may not relate to one’s ass, Michael ‘Tweeted’ me the following link that is one part dumb, and two parts dumberer.
If yu think yu kan handl it, the ful story iz hear.
Did you catch that footnote in there? The person who is concerned with his baby’s well being also happens to be a twice convicted child molester.
I’ve said it before and I’m sure I will say it again- The fact that it’s more difficult to get a driver’s license than it is to create an entirely new life form becomes increasingly shocking to me. Then again, every time an inbred hillbilly has a child, Walmart gets a new customer, and that’s good for the economy, right?
Speaking commerce, as I’m sure most of you are aware, the disaster in the desert otherwise known at Interbike (or ‘Innerbike‘ for those of us with lazy tongues) is just around the corner, and as usual, I have been furiously searching for something to wear that will allow me to present myself in the most appropriate light possible. After finding the following item, I think it’s safe to say that my search might very well be over;

But aside from an undersized tuxedo, what would possibly do such a thing justice? Luckily Chris from Electra Bicycle Company had my back and sent me this sharp little number.
I can already hear my dance card filling up.
An individual who wouldn’t be afraid to wear a rubber prosthetic in Las vegas is the enigmatic Jordi, pictured here engaged in some rad getting;
If I remember correctly, he used to be employed doing something along those lines anyway.
Now back over to the mail bag, from Ken I got this short and sweet one;
“Thanks for the SF Weekly link, and never forget…
-“Your ass backwards if you chase hoes, chase the cheese they come with the shit.”

I think that’s funny, but funny in an uneasy sort of way. Laughing at Laurence Koolaid Maroney is not a lot unlike laughing at a retarded kid, and as you and I both know, that’s just not nice.
Sean sent me a shout for an event that warms my heart and is exactly the sort of throwdown for which my fantasy road trip is tailor made;
The Durango Gay Mountain Fest.
A beavy of fat tire loving homos and homettes, all coming together in a beautiful mountain setting to engage in their mutual love of the fat tire?
And for those of you who might think I’m being facetious, let me assure you, I am not.
Two things I like just about more than anything are riding mountain bikes in Colorado, and partying… No… raging until my face falls off, and very few people in my life know how to tear the holy hell out of a celebration better than the gays.
Though if I had my way, the BBQ/pool party would have been scheduled for an entire day.
Alright, before I go I have to show off a pet project of mine. You see, two years ago I decided to place an order for a 29er with my pal Rick Hunter. Upon receiving the request, he flatly questioned “don’t you already have enough bikes?
That’s good business practices right there.
Anyhow, as I chipped away at my debt to him with anything from bribes to beer and everything in between, I began amassing a collection of parts. Friends from all corners of the industry very graciously provided me with whatever odds or ends they might have had stashed away in their desks, closets or garages.
As I mentioned to someone recently, ‘for a 40th birthday present to myself, I ordered a custom frame and started collecting parts when I was 37.’
After all is said and done, I have turned the final set screw, and crimped the last cable on the newest addition to my stable;
New bike wood is in full effect around here, and I finally see what all the hubbub about 29ers is.
On that note, it’s Monday. The sound of clocks being punched is ringing out across the land and the nation’s work force are filing into their respective cubicles.
Though from my perspective, today seems as good a day as any to call in sick.
If you need me, you know where I’ll be.

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18 Responses to “Parker Stevenson is twice the man of Shawn Cassidy.”

  1. Brent Marshall August 16, 2010 at 7:31 am #

    Holy Shit, Next you’ll be riding tubeless… That is one sweet ass ride.
    That orange, no-name frame looks like a nashbar.

  2. Mike H. August 16, 2010 at 7:59 am #

    What, no ball frog?

  3. brandon August 16, 2010 at 8:03 am #

    i wanna know where the dude got the kool-aid pendant!!!
    great idea for a 40th! I’ve got 5 years to plan…

  4. Hugapotato August 16, 2010 at 8:15 am #

    What’s the head angle on that beast? Looks, uh, “steep.” And a RockShox Post/WTB combo on that wagon-wheeler? You don’t say….

  5. Brian August 16, 2010 at 8:50 am #

    @Hugapotato – Looks like an old fashioned Gravity dropper to me.. Nice Hunter! I’ve been going back and forth on one of those or a Black Cat..

  6. Stevil August 16, 2010 at 9:11 am #

    Panty dropper, maybe. Gravity dropper, no. It’s just a Rock Shox post, which in my opinion is just about the best thing they ever made.
    Also, Todd makes really nice bikes, but you know where my vote falls.

  7. patbastard August 16, 2010 at 9:29 am #

    What’s with you and suspension seat posts? Is your tushy so fragile, that any little bump bruises your battered bung-hole? Or, are you trying to maintain your virgin turd-cutter status until you meet the right guy?

  8. stevil August 16, 2010 at 10:36 am #

    You missed your calling in the greeting card writing biz.

  9. 333 August 16, 2010 at 11:43 am #

    i wish i was a little bit taller, so i wouldn’t look all silly riding a 29er. congrats and here’s to another 40.

  10. Rainer August 16, 2010 at 3:00 pm #

    I’m surprised that you’re going for the “good looking man” mask and not the “satan” mask… just saying…

  11. blacksocks August 16, 2010 at 5:30 pm #

    sweet orange bike = blue collar? oh, and i have spare parts for that post if you need ’em.

  12. biscodo August 16, 2010 at 5:58 pm #

    It’s an orange bike.

  13. Teamfubar August 16, 2010 at 8:27 pm #

    I need a new bike for the 24 Hours of Moab. That Hunter looks perfect. You’ve got my address…

  14. Sean Hurl August 17, 2010 at 10:45 am #

    WTF! gears? Next you will be drinking micro brewed beer and throwing shakas instead of goat horns.

  15. clarky August 17, 2010 at 1:50 pm #

    I think that there orange bike is a Marin.

  16. Fletcher August 17, 2010 at 5:28 pm #

    The orange bike has a KHS Montana vibe to it, circa 1994.

  17. Stevil August 18, 2010 at 7:04 am #

    The frame is none other than one of the original seven Blue Collar one speeds built by Robert Ives, Scott Berg and myself, twelve years ago. The down tube gusset might have been the giveaway.