When you’re busy playing grab ass, sometimes the world sneaks up on you.

That is to say when I play grab ass, sometimes the world sneaks up on me.

Which in reality is just way to illustrate the fact that while I’ve been poontangin’ around with these show folk fags (that’s a Buford T. Justice reference for those of you who might be offended by the use of the ‘fag’ word) another week has passed me by, and with it, an opportunity to post another varying batch of correspondences.
Speaking of.. On Monday I mentioned that no female types of people had sent me postcards. As it turns out, I got one postcard from a female type of person on that very day;
My mountaintop needle dick and I have had such fun with this, and we are both quite disappointed that it got partially dismantled while in transit.
Even though hers was late, and the USPS ended up apparently having its way with her entry, Natalie won the competition hands down. Should she be reading this, Natalie needs to email a proper shipping address so I can send her a rightfully earned prize pack.
Moving on to the virtual mail bag, I have an assortment of fodder eager for your attention.
Andy from Fyxo came through with a mass email chock full of the whatnot;
“Greetings followers of fyxomatosis,
If you managed to stay with FYXO through the past month you are a little worse for wear. A few crashes, some posts, and a minor facelift.
Coming out the other side of Yarrenberg Forest is the FYXO cycling kit. Available for pre-order*. Winter Jackets and caps now in stock.
Melburn Roobaix is a mere 3 weeks away and there will be other Melburn velo-cultural events to be part of for those coming from far and wide to ride. Not just a Sunday in Hell. Follow my wheel as close as you can for more!
Here’s a sample of the past and future for June;
As always, ride safe – ride often.
Andy White”

Note taken?
Note taken.
Malcolm also got ahold of me with some fairly pressing information;
“Hi Stevil, greetings from your favorite (at least that is how it goes down in my dreams) race ruiner.
First off I wanted to send you a pic I snapped on my commute home the other day:
Double backing and getting a closer look, yeh, that IS what you are thinking…
I will let you readership draw their own conclusions as to what is going on and where this guy is going…
With that out of the way, I also wanted to give a heads up to something arguably more important. I was planning on getting this info weeks ago, and now I am a bit late to the game as you’ve already posted about several such events, but not only is ours is wayyy cooler it is a fully UCI endorsed World Championship…
Last year you posted info about The Pirate Cycling Leagues, Gravel World Championship. Well as luck will have it, it will be going down again this summer, August 20th, 2011.
Come one, come all, and ride your bike on some Nebraska Gravel, Arrggg! Send in a post card, and show up in NE this summer. Ride bikes, drink beer, play on gravel, its fun.
Keep up the good work Stevil, you make the days more bearable,
Malcolm T”

I would like to note that this guy is simply going on a ride with a friend. Who here among us hasn’t done the same at one point or another?
Secondly, I know a pirate or two in Nebraska, and as a matter of fact, El Pirata Gigantor and I were just discussing the possibility of coming to visit them.
Perhaps the end of August might see that visit become a reality.
In news of heavy metal fantasies, Bee came through with this;
I believe you are the proper person to share this with the masses.


Wherever there is a need to assist in the promotion of a video containing a fat hairy man on a poster coming to life, I hope to be there.
Finally, as the curtain draws to a close on this, our mid-week edition of AHTBM, Blakey from the land of Australania comes through with a heads up regarding their topsy turvy seasons;
“Hey Stevil.
Been a while! I’d love it if you could throw this up on the blog…
Around these parts we’re getting ready for CX season again, and this year’s Dirty Deeds looks like being even bigger than ever. Check it, we even cracked a mention on cycling news.
Which in turn resulted in the attached picture;
cyclingnews screencap.jpg
The thing I love most about this is there’s a picture of Andy Schleck looking all pro right next to a picture of Greg Brunt wearing a rubber fucking chicken on his head. In most of my cycling endeavors I feel like it’s my job to bring down the tone of proceedings, to score a win for the punks, scummers and dirtbags, and I’m going to claim this one.
Much Love,

I’m a few days late and about seventy five cents short on this one, and I hope my friends down under don’t hold it against me, but it should come as no surprise that my blind spot is sometimes expansive.
I have a few more items in need of attention that the clocks are running out on, which we will attend to on Friday.
While it’s not exactly and art form, nor is it terribly difficult, when it comes to sneaking up on me, as it turns out I happen to be better at it than anyone.

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3 Responses to “When you’re busy playing grab ass, sometimes the world sneaks up on you.”

  1. pablo picnostral June 8, 2011 at 9:04 am #

    I usually hate seeing photos of people getting hurt. And then there’s bullfighters.

  2. irishpunk59 June 8, 2011 at 9:40 am #

    speaking of blind spots a fucking garbage truck ran over and killed a girl riding her bike in a fucking bike lane and despite he had to fucking have passed her blamed it on her being in his blind spot, wanna bet he walks, hope the fuck can live with himself hope the RPD can as well

  3. Josh RVA June 8, 2011 at 1:57 pm #

    A postcard from a female!