Just a little off the top.


‘The power of the afro’ has come up a few times in recent days, most recently when discussing this new video ‘edit‘ that my friends at Kona Bicyclesdropped‘ featuring Spencer Paxon and none other than his afroness himself, Mr. Barry Wicks;

I love nearly all disciplines in cycling, but certainly, riding cross country is one that is probably nearest and dearest to my heart.
Furthermore, and not relating to my love of riding a bicycle in the woods, but while I have been perusing the interwebs this week, I took note that the debate between big and small wheeled enthusiasts seems to have recently regained a bit of momentum. I would include the primary link that I came across here, but I was so overwhelmed with apathy, I’m certain I don’t remember where I saw it. Obviously you can type the topic into a search engine, which will generate a similar article like this, that will inevitably send your eyes into a state of glaze, and your mouth into a state of drool.
I was excited however that something so mundane and inconsequential to everyone and everything, everywhere was once again picking up speed, that I publicly declared hope that the Cool Mo Dee/LL Cool J feud might still have a breath of life in it.
That’s like arguing over if Chinese or Italian food is better, or if it’s preferable to be clean cut or let your hairy orb fly;
Clearly the latter of both are better, though the sideburns could probably take a hike.
It was 1992 after all, so most of us had the excuse of not knowing any better.
The fellows in this clip forwarded to me by Handsome Cycles have no such luxury;

Speaking of things that will make you go gay, it was through Sarah that I discovered this list of vaguely homosexual, but most very definitely destructive musical acts.
I had a half a mind to email the curator of said list, a Ms. Donnie Davis (or would that be Mr.? Donnie is a fairly unisexual name, which leads me to the conclusion that Donne is working in cahoots with the devil himself! *Upon further investigation, I’ve come to find out Donnie is a he.*) and offer up a list of random, spontaneously invented bands who, if they existed would most assuredly be spreading nefarious bits of homo-ness all across this great, Christian nation;
Pillow Talk
Hot Boxing
A Frayed Not, and their pants tightening and never before released hit “A Razor’s Edge
The Explorers of Horror
Captain Howdy
Back Room Blackout
The Table Legs
M.C. Tunnel Vision
The Abandoned
Silca Wash
The Fuzzy Buddies
And many, many more. It’s like a WHAMCO compilation of the best bands that never existed.
Another thing I’m totally gay for is this bike;
I know I’ve gushed every which way but Tuesday (is that the saying? What the hell does that even mean?) about this bike, and I didn’t think I could love it more until some TRP 8.4s came along and made the bike… Mmmm, like, a thousand times more dreamy;
It was just this past Tuesday when I took it out on a mountain bike styled athletic pursuit, that I realized this might vey well be my go to bike for all seasons and all reasons. As a matter of fact, the only issue I’ve experienced was both hubs completely seizing up after San Francisco’s SSCXWC. A painless bearing swap remedied that situation with quickness, and I have been picking bugs out of my smile ever since.
Now before we part ways, I have a query that was sent to me from Mark;
“I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this “Elf on the Shelf” craze that is going around these holidays.
I’ve tried to convince my sister that this would be a traumatizing thing to have around my niece and nephew…but she disagrees. She is also a crazy wingbat.”

You know, when I was little, my family had one of those, but he would just come out with the Christmas decorations. It was only a couple of years ago when I finally learned of the game that parents play with their kids and this little elf, wherein he is hidden in a new location every night, and it’s up to the young ones to search him out the following day.
Personally, I like Mark’s version of the game better.
Just as long as he leaves the ‘fro alone.

Spread this like it's sick

Leave a Reply

19 Responses to “Just a little off the top.”

  1. Pistil Pete December 16, 2011 at 6:43 am #

    “next thing you know you’ve got a homosexual for a child”
    Those Christians bust me up.At least the kid ain’t a singlespeeder,Heaven forbid.

  2. Admiral Longpour December 16, 2011 at 6:45 am #

    Stevil, JVA is auditioning for our new celibate boy band: The Strength to Wait Ratio. We still need a vaguely ethnic bad boy, and golly if you don’t fit the role like a skin tuxedo. Send an audition tape to our agent. We’ll be in touch. (Rumor has it we might be opening for Stryper at the Woodburn Outlet Mall in June. Keep your fingers crossed.)

  3. Jason December 16, 2011 at 6:45 am #

    When I picked up my All City, I sold three other bikes and made this my go to bike for most of my rides.

  4. mikey December 16, 2011 at 7:59 am #

    I believe the saying is “Every Which Way But Loose,” which is also the title of the seminal 1978 film starring Clint Eastwood and Manis, the orang-utan who would, of course, later star in Cannonball Run with none other than the great Mr. Reynolds hisself. It’s all six degrees of Kevin bacon up in here.

  5. Troy B. December 16, 2011 at 7:59 am #

    Lookin’ fwd to seeing you front for the celebrate, straight edge, boy band. Love the elf-on-da-shelf photo too! Your ethnically vague bud,

  6. Kirk December 16, 2011 at 8:06 am #

    That list is pretty comprehensive and random. I noticed that Metallica is the only band that is listed in bold letters, does this make them ultra-gay?

  7. Keith Earickson December 16, 2011 at 8:09 am #

    From Love Gods Way:

    We Strongly recommend that you burn the CDs. Make sure your child is watching. Make sure they can feel the heat. It is crucial that the image remains emblazoned in their young minds. They need to know that if they continue to listen to these bands they may Burn eternally as well.

    You know else your child can feel the heat? Nuzzling their face into a hairy chest framed by leather suspenders and a chain-choker.
    NOFX is gay punk? Gay as in “happy?”

  8. Andrew B December 16, 2011 at 8:50 am #

    “Elton John (really gay)”
    That list made me laugh out loud, for real. I’m not sure what makes a band “gay” according to that list. And are the bands listed in descending or ascending “gayness?” I think you need a guest post from the creators of that list. I’m sure Ted Nugent would be happy to find out that he’s gay for wearing a loincloth, too.

  9. Kenji December 16, 2011 at 9:59 am #


  10. yafro December 16, 2011 at 10:14 am #

    I can totally see Michelle Bachman jammin’ away to Cheap Trick in her capitol hill office.

  11. Ervgopwr December 16, 2011 at 11:51 am #

    So you and I share a birthday…but I 12 years in the future, or what was the past; yeah, the 80’s.
    P.S. I like Thai food.

  12. Hayes December 16, 2011 at 7:21 pm #

    I wonder how Tech9 and Ghostface Killah feel about being on the “gay” list.

  13. Josh RVA December 16, 2011 at 8:52 pm #

    You mess with the ‘fro, you gots to go.
    BTW it’s _K_ool Mo Dee, honky.

  14. Lucie white December 16, 2011 at 10:22 pm #

    Godam I love those elves…

  15. Dave December 16, 2011 at 10:40 pm #

    I’m sorry, Cyndi Lauper does not ‘foster heterosexual desires’ in me.

  16. Loudass, Esq. December 16, 2011 at 11:05 pm #

    Frank Sinatra?!

  17. Nived December 17, 2011 at 11:42 am #

    The All City rig you are riding looks as if it could be hours and hours of fun.. must be a midwest thing..

  18. Queen Catastrophe December 18, 2011 at 5:28 pm #

    Loved the fact that George Michael had TEXAN after his title…what does that even mean? Only if you live in Texas could he influence you to become homosexual? Glad I left that state then! lmfao

  19. BiggerMig December 20, 2011 at 8:16 pm #

    I had my first homosexual experience at a Stryper concert. Go figure.