Mondays are like Fridays.

Except instead of two days of awesomeness following it, you have five days of suck.
I guess on second thought, they are nothing alike at all.

Welp, today’s post isn’t gonna write and then read itself, so let us get down to business.
Last week some folks accused me of being all Chicken Little about the National Defense Authorization Act, and I thought, “hmm.. Maybe they’re right. Maybe it’s not such a big deal. I mean, I’m a law abiding citizen, and besides.. I don’t honestly think there’s any way it will pass. Maybe I just read to many leftist news sources and I don’t have anything to worry about.”
Then I read this.
Fortunately, Jon Stewart is always there to add humor where otherwise there is none;

Thankfully I have all of my fingers, I won’t mention anything about guns and I generally only have about three days worth of food in my house, but I am guilty of having what some might consider subversive thoughts and on the chance, however slim that chance might be, that one day I mysteriously disappear, I would like for you all to tell you ‘I told you so’ for me.
Now let’s get into the mail bag, shall we?
There is a guy called Brado who is in our midst and he is responsible for an array of bad ass AHTBM designs. I send him a cocktail napkin with a drawing on it, and he sends me back a computer file that allows me to make bitchen stuff like the socks and the shirts and even the new kits which I recently have received a teaser for;

Anyway, he sent me a pretty sweet illustration of Jesus that proves what we all thought he was doing in all of those images all along;

Making hand farts.
This puts a whole new spin on praying for me.
And speaking of praying and Jesus, and how gay people in the military don’t want children celebrating Christmas, last week I did a little half assed Photoshop job myself on a screen grab of Rick Perry, which made me feel a tinge of (gay) pride;

I felt a strong sense of accomplishment that of all the images I’ve done the Photoshopping to over the years, the one I finally learned how to make the blurry on was this one of Perry and his buddies.
Short of making things blurry, I would only be able to put penises all over everyone’s foreheads, but that would just be obvious.
Hey, you wanna see what I found in a creek on my way home from a mountain bike styled athletic pursuit this weekend?;

It’s good times here in this town now that some young white supremacist has donated his or her boom box to the little stream.
I looked around for the Skrewdriver tape which I was sure must be nearby, but unfortunately I found nothing.
Daniel emailed me with a request for a call to arms;
“Hey Stevil,
We’re starting up a new team out here in Boston called STAMPEDE. We’ve got a about 13 strong and passionate riders/ne’er-do-wells. We are both lazy and talentless when it comes to design. Also, we’re poor. A killer combo, I know. So we’re running a contest to have our kit designed. The winner gets $100, jersey, ad space on our jersey. The bottom line is we want to look good without really having to try. We’ve already been spreading the word on our limited blogosphere but would you mind throwing up a flyer? We sure would appreciate it. And please continue ruining cycling for everyone, especially women. Thanks.
-Daniel Cariolo

ps The original art is from Josh Keyes.
So there you have it, any would-be designers. An opportunity to make a little bit of scratch and help some aspiring bicycle athletic pursuitists not look like the Bad News Bears.
Here is my contribution;

Some say I have a future in this racket.
As I prepare to take my leave from today’s post, I suppose I have to address the elephant in the room and acknowledge that Christmas is right around the corner. Personally I have for the last two decades or so avoided the holiday like a over commercialized plague, but this year Zolton sent me a greeting that just started to crack the crust. To complete the process, I appropriated it for my own devices;

Now that Monday’s over, we have Wednesday to look forward to which is like a mid-week Friday, but still not as good as the actual Friday, which if you have to work until Wednesday is like Monday….
Party.