Be back at o’dark thirty.


Technically that’s not true, but I am, for the first time in at least two decades, taking a short break from all aspects of my existence. There will be no phone, or internet, or bills, or daily responsibilities. All I need to worry about is changing my socks and eating three squares a day;
I will be back good as new (mostly rehabilitated) on Monday the 27th.

The only thing I ask is that you not forget about me in my absence, and I thank you for your time and consideration on this matter.

With that said, let’s get on with this, the first post of the rest of our lives.

Firstly, as we are all well aware- that big throwdown in Boulder called the Cyclocross Nationals happened this past weekend and there was a lot of talk about it both between people face to face, and between people sitting in some proximity to their naked lady boxes. One occurrence I found of particular interest was one Mo Bruno Roy winning the women’s one speed race;
Photo Steve Anderson.
My interest in this was two fold. One, because I think Mo is a pretty great person, (despite the fact that I remain unimpressed with the above depicted victory salute. I would have preferred something along these lines), having just been personally acquainted with her for the last year, and two, because I think one speeds are a pretty great thing, having only been personally acquainted with them for the past seventeen.

I’m also fond of her perspective on things, which she touched on in an email relating to a query I made about this Tweet;

She wrote;

The event itself was a SRAM “meet the pros” at Boulder Cycle Sport and a silent auction for the Amy D Foundation;
I spent most of my time at the auction trying not to cry and hanging out with an awesome artist who makes these, and then being a nerd in the corner.

Tons of really nice people there (literally hundreds), tho Boulder needs to get more weird and start riding bikes as a vehicle. I barely see bikes in the racks at markets here or events. Seems like the racks at the schools are always full tho so maybe the next gen will have it dialed!

This is a thing that’s long perplexed me. I remember when Brian Vernor’s film ‘Pure Sweet Hell’ premiered in Santa Cruz (which if you haven’t seen, you should);

The iconic Rio Theatre was beyond sold out. It was standing room only, and I was one of maybe five people who rode their bikes there.

The older I get, the bigger the part of my brain that’s easily irritated by things gets.

It’s the grumpy old man syndrome, which can probably be alleviated with hormone therapy, but this phenomenon is a thing that has always and will always irk me to no end.

And the really crazy part is that seemingly nobody recognizes the irony.

Anyhoo- I’d like to offer a hearty congratulations to Mo on her victory, and a thanks to her for being one of two people who rode their bike to the bike event.

To those who did not, I shrug and shake my bowed head in your general direction.

And speaking of cyclocrossing, dig this photo that was pulled from the archives of Nationals when it was held in Berkeley’s Tilden Park in 1975;
As Chuck Schultz illustrates, back then saddle grab remounts were a popular thing, as were tiny shorts and wearing your cap on the outside of your hairnet.

I feel like I just ate mushrooms.

And speaking of which;

I went on a big old off road/on road ride with Cody a few years ago, and though it clearly doesn’t need to be said, the guy is a monster.

And he has really nice hair.

Alas, he didn’t beat Yannick Eckmann for the U-23 win (*my bad. It was Logan Owen, but if you wanted actual news, you’d go to an actual news source), nor did anyone beat Katie Compton for her eleven billionteenth National title.

Congratulations to the whole gaggle of riders, and I can only hope that the crowd behaved themselves.

Golf Clap would prefer it that way.

On that note, I’m outta here Vladimirs. Don’t forget to write.

Or send a cake with a file in it.

Spread this like it's sick

Leave a Reply

21 Responses to “Be back at o’dark thirty.”

  1. dan January 13, 2014 at 6:00 am #

    Don’t drop the soap…

  2. livingminimal January 13, 2014 at 6:23 am #

    Imma put some money on your books so you can buy some ramen at the canteen (I saw that shit on Lockup) all hail the prison industrial complex!

  3. Largo January 13, 2014 at 7:31 am #

    Fuck me.
    That clip of Cody owning those stairs was damned inspiring. Dude didn’t even pedal.
    So unless those were some of those Penrose type stairs, I’m in awe.

  4. al b - madison January 13, 2014 at 9:35 am #

    i just… do not understand how physics allows that stairs thing to happen.
    that bike handling makes “F=ma & you can’t push a rope,” look like a fairy tale.
    ALSO: thanks for your work & hope you return with a sweet homemade tat’.

  5. Tim Wesolowski January 13, 2014 at 10:11 am #

    Cody Kaiser won the U23 style contest for sure, that was some amazing ish. But it was Logan Owen who gets the stars and bars not Yannick…

    • Stevil January 13, 2014 at 12:53 pm #

      What a difference ten seconds makes.

  6. trama January 13, 2014 at 10:14 am #

    The iconic venereal Rio bike racks were similarly empty at the ‘Breaking Away’ screening, although one or two did ride their sweet longboards in

  7. Dabby January 13, 2014 at 10:22 am #

    Keistering a file is not worth it in the long run….

  8. Ben January 13, 2014 at 10:38 am #

    Boulder, where they take not using a bike for anything other than racing VERY seriously.

  9. billy January 13, 2014 at 12:38 pm #

    My experience with Boulder is similar. People amass tons of gear… talk only about their sweet gear… then proceed to not use any of their gear besides their frisbees and flip flops…

    • Ismail January 13, 2014 at 5:11 pm #

      And glass bongs!!

  10. Davey Simon January 14, 2014 at 8:03 am #

    Hey If you want a fun race with a great course and cool people race downhill bikes. Northstar has been fun. It is like the sawdust pile in 1994. I’m having a blast. The cool thing is you can’t ride a DH bike anywhere, so it’s cool to drive.

  11. Haywood January 14, 2014 at 2:26 pm #

    Maybe Mo had her eyes closed, but I didn’t, and can honestly say that there were bikes literally everyfrickinwhere at Valmont. Seriously, bikes locked to and leaning against anything that wouldn’t move.

    Also, Billy– take a ride in Boulder any weekday morning or afternoon commute, it’s often a traffic jam of bikers.

    That said, Boulder does suck. The rules and the rich have basically destroyed the place.

    • Tom A January 24, 2014 at 7:26 pm #

      Agreed on all counts!

  12. Crank January 16, 2014 at 6:54 am #

    Zero dark thirty. “O” is not a number. Perhaps you should stick to tennis balls, and tennis ball related things and leave the military jargon to the oil companie, er, I mean the military.

    • Zonker January 16, 2014 at 3:56 pm #

      You are wrong sir. “O” is correct, as in “O” 800 for 8:00am as the military likes to say. This vernacular is also popular with those not under their own recognizance. Zero dark thirty is straight up wrong. I don’t know where the hell Zero came from but I would not question someone that got camo or an orange jumpsuit as a gift from their own government.

    • Largo January 18, 2014 at 8:39 am #

      Someone’s got their cranky pants on.

      • Crank January 19, 2014 at 2:38 pm #

        As stated in name, and reputation sir. It is one of those small things that irks a person, toilet paper clock or counter, orange juice pulp or no, Klarice in her new dress, or with flava beans and a nice chianti.

  13. scooper January 17, 2014 at 5:39 pm #

    Cody is the new Sagan.

  14. steve January 20, 2014 at 8:06 pm #

    Dude, Cody rides those stairs like they are an uphill pump track! Hells yeah! #pumpit.