The future is now.


Hello, and welcome back to our thrice weekly ten to fifteen minute time suck.

Because we’re friends, and with the exception of only a couple of you, I trust you with my life, I feel compelled to make mention of the fact that unless I have my laptop with me, and I’m capable of hodge-podgeing a post together, I will be gonesville until next Friday. The reason for my absence I alluded to on Monday.

You see, since my days climbing pallet shelving and hucking boxed bikes around 50 plus hours a week during my employ with Swobo, my wrists have been in a constant downward spiral. While the arthritis in my left wrist was initially spawned from a break when I was younger, followed by many years of use and abuse, (i.e. riding mountain bikes with rigid forks), the issues with my right came spontaneously two years ago when I suffered a sprain while doing nothing but coming to a stop after a long and enjoyable cyclocrossing adventure.

I’ve dealt with the inconvienience with a partial smile on my face while engaging in a year and a half of strength training and physical therapy, and I thought I’d gotten ahead of it well enough until last Tuesday my right wrist again went out on me while holding myself in a stretch.

Realizing that this just isn’t a sustainable way to go through life, I investigated as many options as I could, but beyond cortisone injections, I was coming up with nothing.

At one point a coupe of months ago, one of my PTs noted that he reckoned I’d be a good candidate for stem cell therapy. As it turns out, him recommending it, and me actually finding a qualified clinic outside of Iran (who ironically is leading the charge in terms of stem cell research) were two entirely different matters.

In a move of desperation, I made a plea on The Book of Faces, and in short order, it turns out that a dear friend’s father runs one of the most revered stem cell therapy clinics in the country called the Prolotherapy Institue.

After a brief phone conversation with Dr. Darrow I was convinced that while this might not be the answer to all of my prayers, it very well could be the answer to some of them, which at this stage in the game is good enough for me.

For those who don’t know about this procedure, the short version is described in the following video;

So over the course of the beginning of the week I will be face down on Dr. Darrow’s table, getting my pelvis drilled, and not in a sexy way.

I can’t describe how excited I am to engage in this process, while simultaneously experiencing utter terror, but as I noted before, where I’m at currently just isn’t working for me, so I’m willing to forge ahead to find a solution.

As I’m sure you can guess, this procedure doesn’t come cheap, so it’s on bended knee that I humbly make a request to anyone who might find the need to restock on any or all of the goods from the All Hail The Black Market Market, there’s no time like the present.

Relating to that like, a little bit- in a fortuitous bit of timing I heard tell that there was gonna be a swap meet in Oakland this weekend, but then I saw the flyer;
Being one who is immediately repelled by things that look like they were made by a six year old with a potato sack over their head, I promptly made a revision that looks much better to my particular aesthetic;
Like something made by a twelve year old with a potato sack over their head.

Point being that I will be there with a whole fat stack of stuff from my basement. In fact, some of it is brand new and in the box. In more fact, some of it will be from the aforementioned Market. In even more fact, all of it will be priced to sell, so come one, come all, to see a broken man sitting alone in a park selling nearly everything he owns.

Anyway- as always, I thank you for your time and consideration on this matter.

Now, if you’d do me the consideration of doubling back around to the topic of the southern part of the state, Mr. Hernan Ezequiel Montenegro and his MMFG imprint have a hoedown scheduled for just about one month from now;
Hern is reputed as being just about one of the baddest M-er F-ers on two wheels down in that neck of the woods, so mark your calendars and know if he’s participating in the event, the best you can hope for is second place.

Then, while we’re discussing bikecycle honches, Gavin came through with a heads up from a far away and cold land;


I know you are a fond collector of documentary evidence of your wares in action. Given your pal Chuey’s recent good news, I hope this is an opportune time to send you the attached photo;
This was taken last Sunday at the top of the Tourmalet during the 22nd running of the Etape du Tour. As you can (kind of) see, the weather threw us a fastball and, despite warm conditions in the valley, at the top of le mountain it was freezing cold and raining.

The French organisers (a contradiction in terms if ever I heard one) opened up the town hall at the bottom of the descent to treat the many victims of hypothermia. I declined their kind offer of a space blanket and pressed on, unwilling to let months of training be derailed by some pissing French rain.

As you may recall, your quality control department had an off day when it picked my order, so I am unable to send evidence of the Blackweiser socks in action.

Yours etc etc

p.s. That is not my bike behind me, I did the whole thing on my trusty steel Condor.

p.p.s. Forgive the tight lipped expression, it was extremely unpleasant out there, and I still had 30 miles to go and the Hautacam to climb.

There is nothing more that I appreciate than a little love in the form of an email notifying me that the sender is a thousand times tougher than the person who is currently typing these words.

Circling back around to, and continuing on with news of injury-risking bicycle hi-jinx for a second, it was just a couple of weeks ago when Swobo, New Belgium and I descended on Minneapolis and One On One Bicycle Studio to unleash the most recent Folsom Fist Fight.

There were spills, and thrills, and chills and pills, and nearly some of it was caught on camera;

A number of curious onlookers were lurking at the end of the alley, in an attempt at figuring out just what the hell it was we were doing. Some folks sauntered in for a closer look, while others stayed at a safe distance.

I invited one young couple in to have a beer to which the male counterpart said “I’m just trying to figure out what you’re doing.” In response I offered this- “Do you remember when you were a kid, and you and your friends would spend the day goofing off and ripping around on your bikes in a vacant lot?” After a short pause he said that he did, to which I said “it’s just like that, except we’re a little older now.
That’s when it clicked for him, and I could see a knowing smile cross his face.

And in turn, I realized that what all of this is. This site, this community, this way of life. All it is, is an extension of what we did when we were kids.

For some reason, when people go through puberty, a majority of the population moves on and forgets the importance of slogging around in a creek bottom, or having BB gun fights, or exploring a cave, or, in this case, skidding around in a back alley while swapping lies and simply enjoying being alive.

Engaging in this sort of activity is nothing new. We’ve done it since we could walk;
The most crucial aspect of these events, or living the daily life that we do is to serve as a reminder that it’s still the most fun you can have with your clothes on, and sometimes clothes coming off is part of it.

Finally, while we’re on the topic of clothes, it’s recently been brought to my attention that orange jumpsuits are now considered too cool for jail.

I’ve been saying this for seventeen years. It’s high time the status quo finally took notice.

Clearly, my Amigos and I live in the future, and the future looks orange.

Spread this like it's sick

Leave a Reply

13 Responses to “The future is now.”

  1. hellbelly July 25, 2014 at 6:26 am #

    I may have shared this with you before, but my memory could be going old schmuck that I am. My hands are my career so for more than 15 years I have worn wrist guards like I used to do back in my skateboarding daze. I employ these over my gloves on all off road rides. I generally go thru several pairs a year, but at $20 a pop they are way cheaper than fixing my wrists. These things have saved my ass countless times. There are less armored versions, but these are the no bs heavy duty ones. Maybe it’s too late if your damage is already done, but I had trashed my wrists/hands too many times prior and have been fine since. Good luck.

  2. Stevil July 25, 2014 at 7:24 am #

    I’ve used variations of that off and on over the years, but am certainly willing to give them a try as well. Thanks for the tip.

    • hellbelly July 25, 2014 at 7:58 am #

      My only caveat would be if you are a Grip shift fan, but I don’t recall seeing any of those doo-dads adorning your steeds. As an added bonus, having basically a built-in hammer in the palm of your hand comes in handy for dealing with pesky QR’s or smacking whatever errant part is vexing you.

  3. John July 25, 2014 at 7:34 am #

    Oh man, as a person with trashed wrists I am right there with you, bro. Best wishes for a great outcome.

    And yes, adulthood. I’ve come to appreciate that it’s a bit of a sucker’s game. I’m actually in the middle of a big life reorganization, trying to shed as much of adulthood as I think I can get away with. I was one of those people who skipped straight from wee little kid to grownup and now, having realized my mistake, I’m clicking the undo option.

  4. Largo July 25, 2014 at 8:30 am #

    While the image of The Scribe airing up the little dudes tire is just too damned cute for words, it does need a caption such as “mess up my valve stem and I’ll kick you in the balls, mister”

  5. John Thorstensen July 25, 2014 at 8:41 am #

    Stevil — Be careful that this guy you’re going to fork over money to is not a quack. There are far too many shady MDs out there who prey on people with chronic or degenerative conditions. This may be entirely on the up-and-up, but in many cases the net result is a wallet-ectomy. Look around the internet at places like Quackwatch and Science-based medicine; ideally, go to a high-quality academic medical center such as UCLA for a second opinion before you commit.

    • Stevil July 25, 2014 at 8:44 am #

      I appreciate the concern, but I trust that Dr. Darrow is on the up and up.

      • matt July 25, 2014 at 10:10 am #

        long time lurker, first time commenter.
        I have a PhD in stem cell biology from Stanford. From looking at the website of the doctor you mentioned, I would echo John’s concern over quackery. I also understand how desperate one can get when a degenerative condition stands between you and what you love.

        It seems like he offers two “treatments,” one that involves the injection the plasma fraction of your blood into the site of degeneration (the so-called platelet therapy), and the other (the so-called prolotherapy) that seems to involve injecting random chemicals or growth factors into the site of degeneration. I would consider neither of these to be “stem cell” therapies, because there are no stem cells involved.

        In any event, it would be worth searching the peer-reviewed literature (NCBI Pubmed) to see if there is any real evidence for these sort of therapies working. My guess is no…

        good luck

        • Stevil July 25, 2014 at 10:35 am #

          While you clearly are in a position to comment on this matter, and I am far and away from it, I’ve (as I expected) gotten wildly varying advice from every different corner. I’ve had prolotherapy previously, and experienced some degrees of success (though I would then constantly return to work and resume what was causing the issues to begin with.) If this blows up in my face, I will be the first to admit I was duped. I just hope that won’t be the case.

  6. buck owens July 25, 2014 at 8:00 pm #

    Stevil I wish you the best with your treatments. All of us bikers have our stories and injuries that we laugh and cry about…just take my advice and dont get hooked on pain pills like I did…and thanks so much with helping me remember my child hood with your remebrance of ol’ James Rockford and his dad Rocky

  7. Amanda Sundvor July 26, 2014 at 12:05 am #

    I missed the Minneapolis party by one day. We’re about due to party together.

  8. livingminimal July 26, 2014 at 4:43 am #

    Best of luck man. Might be high time to get a AHTBM cycle riding uniform sweater vest. Hope the treatment works.

  9. meli July 26, 2014 at 11:57 pm #

    ill be thinking of you. ill drink a budweiser a tu salud in the next game de mis A’s.