In the land of the broken toys…


The one legged man is king.

And really what are we all, but broken toys, each to a varying degree?

As one who is the mostest, I’ll take the helm today and get this sinking ship cooking.

First of all, in response to a group of the worst kind of cowards pulling off Wednesday’s massacre in Paris, I offer an image of the most appropriate response I’ve seen;
Indeed, we all stand behind not only the friends and families lost in the attack, but the unwavering notion of the power of free speech;
As Edward Bulwer-Lytton so aptly said almost two hundred years ago, “the pen is mightier than the sword“.

You can kill people who have the ideas, sure, but no matter what, you can never kill the idea itself.

It’s with my final breath that I would fight for, and support this directive.

While we’re in the topic of mighty pens, we’ll discuss a person who wields his not with the power of a sword, but rather, with the power of a turd.

It seems as though after a long hiatus The Dirtbag has again donned his writing britches. We’ll see how long this lasts, because he apparently is fairly easily distracted.

“I’m gonna concentrate on writing! Would you do me a favor and link the new post I wrote?” he says, his enthusiasm burning brighter than a thousand suns.

Sure thing man. Keep up the good work” I say in response.

Two weeks later:

I’m gonna concentrate on my modeling career! Would you do me a favor and link the new headshot I took?
Unconventional portraits of people and things.
Photo shot by Nicolle Clemetson.
Anyway, as I was saying, he’s back on the writing wagon, and his newest effort is certainly worth some time if you care you pay it a bit.

Hey- So were you super into Wednesday’s news regarding all previously manufactured road bikes to be obsolete now that they’re available with dropper posts?

If you’re like me and can’t live without less money and more garbage in your life, then you’re probably already a member of the $300.00 a year, Super Exclusive At Which Bitches Need Not Apply Rapha Cycling Club®;
Moreover, if you like that, then you’ll love the AHTBM Cycling Club, where for a paltry $250.00 a year, you get to send me $250.00 a year.

Everybody’s gonna want to join.

In news of “why the fuck was the cop fumbling with his gun in the elevator just before he shot himself in the stomach, anyway?“, we have this story out of Cincinnati.

Besides this guy being an A-1 knucklehead, he should be booted off the job for donut abuse;
And apparently the man’s wife was concerned as well, as she took out her phone to call 911.

Or maybe she took a photo and sent it to her friends with a text that was all, “Darryl was just acting a fool and shot himself in the elevator. lol!“;
If only a good guy with a gun was there to protect him (and the delicious donuts) from himself.

Because everyone is in Austin this weekend rallying around the epic Cyclocross Nationals circle jerk, I’ll roll out an email regarding some of the same from a different kind of jerk;


Just wanted to let you know that we attended Japan’s largest cross race and had an absolute blast. Of course having a great time in our day and age isn’t nearly enough, you need to show and tell. Well, I’m very proud of how the photos from the race weekend turned out, and thought that perhaps your readers might be interested in what the cross scene is like on the other side of the world.

This link will take you there, and all of the photos are hosted on our Flickr and available.
We’d be much appreciated if you’d share this if you find it worthy.

All City Jeff

That email was so formal. I feel like I’ve finally arrived.

Now then- before we part ways, and speaking of the cyclocrossing- It’s been brought to my attention that the edit from the most recent Bilenky Cycle Works Junkyard Race was kinda just but not really released, which if I’m not mistaken looks something like this;

To further the adage, in the land of the rusted metal, the one without tetanus is king.

Spread this like it's sick

Leave a Reply

8 Responses to “In the land of the broken toys…”

  1. somedudeinFLA January 9, 2015 at 5:31 am #

    Id like to propose the “AHTBM Cycle Club, SomedudeinFLA Chapter”, in which local members send me $250 a year, and i send you $5 for every member. Do you prefer check or money order?


    P.S. Are you in Austin?

    • Mike p January 9, 2015 at 8:56 am #

      As one of the 5 Florida “attendees” of this here gathering I’m not really “down” with this “donation”. Better luck with Freeman and Mendenhal. Once I get healthy though lets ride.

      • somedudeinFLA January 12, 2015 at 8:02 am #

        How about once it gets warm and stops raining etc. Amazing what a pussy i am when its below 60… what part of the state are you in? If its the jax area, im sorry and i wish you luck with the suburban redneck drivers. I say that because im in the jax area and the suburban redneck drivers suck… anyway, if youre around, hell yeah, lets ride!

  2. Dballs January 9, 2015 at 8:32 am #

    In the land of metal, the one without tinnitus is … Not doing it right.

  3. Leif January 9, 2015 at 9:09 am #

    Love chainsaws!

  4. reverend dick January 10, 2015 at 10:24 am #

    Which looks like the funner approach to riding bikes: the Rapha country club, or the Bilenky junkyard?

  5. Grippy January 11, 2015 at 12:07 am #

    Darryl was acting a fool. Still laughing.. However many minutes later this is

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