The rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.

derp copy

The short version of the last few days is as follows-

The surgery went really well. My ACL was repaired, the MCL had healed itself, and while my surgeon was in mucking about in my kneebow, he cleaned up the meniscus. Plus, when all was said and done and I was regaining consciousness in the recovery room, I had a couple hours to talk with my nurse whose name was Alana, was very pretty, and who also happened to be a cyclist.

None of that sucked.

So since then, I’ve been posted up on the sofa swimming through an impressive fog of pain killers and consistently interupted thoughts. I’m as green as they come in regard to opiates, (it took me five attempts to even spell the word ‘opiates‘ correctly before I had to ask the Googles.) This is a brand new bag to me, and as I said somewhere else on the internets recently, “I totally understand why people get addicted to painkillers now. They are fucking awesome.

Please do me the solid and allow me to get through the next day or two to clear my head, and I promise we’ll pick up right where we left off with our two wheeled and beer fueled shenanigans.

Or rather your two wheeled and beer fueled shenanigans.

From my corner, for the time being, I’m so wrecked I can’t even figure out which way to point my business finger.

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16 Responses to “The rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.”

  1. Justin Qualey April 27, 2015 at 6:36 am #

    opiates are great until you have to poop.

  2. MM April 27, 2015 at 7:06 am #

    I said the same thing about pain meds after double hernia surgery. I liked them a little too much, so I flushed them.
    Heal up!

  3. Dr Ray April 27, 2015 at 7:09 am #

    Mazel Tov! Enjoy a speedy recovery!!!

  4. el gecko April 27, 2015 at 8:17 am #

    I rode the crap out of my bmx this weekend, because you reminded me of where I was 3 years ago and how far I’ve come since then. Your words and Cranpa’s videos unwittingly helped me through probably my darkest time. Peace and healing, dude. Errbody got they own kinda ‘inspiration’.

  5. Patrick Brady April 27, 2015 at 8:39 am #

    Be well, friend.

  6. Monroadie April 27, 2015 at 8:53 am #

    Glad your on the mend. God speed.

  7. doubt April 27, 2015 at 10:11 am #

    Thanks for the update.

    Get well

  8. Beth April 27, 2015 at 10:43 am #

    Opiates don’t taste as good as beer. Heal up and take good care –Beth

    • phuck eeuw April 30, 2015 at 11:23 am #

      did you mean to say opiates go good with beer?
      If so I’m right there with ya.
      Cheapest buzz ever-10mgs perc cple beers 1 turntable and a mountain of records= Friday night. Or you can be all bike guy and call it “recovery time”

  9. Loudass, Esq. April 27, 2015 at 11:46 am #

    The street value of that oxy is $1 per milligram… so your surgery can pay for itself!

  10. Mike P April 27, 2015 at 12:22 pm #

    YAY you’re not dead

  11. cary April 27, 2015 at 1:53 pm #

    take only what you need and Ebay the rest.

  12. Largo April 28, 2015 at 8:11 am #

    Now would be a great time to experiment with Laudanum.

  13. JP April 28, 2015 at 9:50 am #

    can’t wait until the posts come once you figure out how lortab and coffee interact. F-O-C-U-S.

  14. Deathbike April 28, 2015 at 12:49 pm #

    Heal up soon! Take it from me, DO NOT try to get off the pain meds cold turkey. When I was recovering from kidney surgery I got so tired of being constipated I tried to quit the oxycodone too soon. Boy was that a bad idea. I too see why people get addicted to this stuff, because besides being awesome, the withdrawal is a bitch and a half. Taper, bro, taper.

  15. allezaaron April 28, 2015 at 10:49 pm #

    One day at a time! Seems like a good chance to experience the record collection at a new level.