Alright 2018, I’m ready to get off.
Let me start today’s post with a story I’ve told a few times before.
The short version is that on one bright spring morning in 1998, I stumbled across a guy who’d just shot himself in the mouth. Being a sensitive fella, I didn’t much like this at all. Two days later I was set to go on a mountain bike ride with my buddy, but being so tired I could barely move, I decided to head home. I fought losing consciousness all the way there until I got to my front door, and collapsed in an epileptic fit.
I came to in the back of the ambulance at the sound of my own voice telling the attending EMT what year I thought it was. “1989” I said with assurance.
I immediately knew that was wrong, and also knew my eggs were scrambled, so I took the ambulance ride to the hospital.
I’d never had any types of seizures up to that point, was fascinated by what took place in one’s brain, and how it manifested itself in different individuals. I learned that one in five people experience just such an episode at least once in their life, and upon meeting one fella at a party a month or so later, came to find that his seizures manifested themselves as overwhelmingly strong déjà vu types of sensations.
He had just had one where one minute he was standing on the deck of a half pipe, and ten hours later woke up in his bed, only finding out after the fact that among other things, he’d crashed his car, and walked home in the interim.
I assumed that mine was somehow related to finding the dead man, and I had experienced some sort of physical chemical trauma because of it.
It wasn’t until about eight years ago when I was going through a series of cardiovascular tests (EKG tests, tilt table testes, etc) for unrelated reasons, I was told by the PA operating the tilt table test that low blood pressure can sometimes result in seizures. The more I checked into this concept, the more likely it seemed. My glucose levels are constantly good, but my heart rate and blood pressure are generally that of a dying sloth.
So this past Wednesday morning I rode my bike never the hill to see young Carl for a coffee;
As I arrived he texted me to let me know he’d accidentally double booked. “No matter” I thought. “I’ll sit here and watch the dumb yuppie brigade trudge off to work.” I also got this roll thing that was full of eggs and cheese, and bacon, and it was amazing;
Eventually, the time came to get skedaddling back over the hill, and return to daily tasks. First things first, I had to stop by the post office. As I rode up and locked my bike, I was already experiencing a bit of tunnel vision. I walked into the empty lobby, and the fella behind the counter began asking me questions. I could hear the questions, but was unable to process or answer any of them. I knew shit was getting critical, but there was no way I could communicate that to the postmaster. Just then I heard a voice behind me say “I’m a doctor“, and that’s the last thing I recall. I came to strapped to a gurney, and being loaded into an ambulance. I still was unable to annunciate, or answer any of the questions that were being asked of me. As we made our way to the hospital, things got a bit clearer, but not much.
Like for example, whose barf was on the shoulder of my shirt?
They brought me into the ER, where I saw a few faces I remembered from past visits, and put me in a room where I waited for my wife. Upon her arrival, I tried to stitch together the previous few hours. Eventually I got a CT scan, which came back negative for brain tumors, which was cool;
Now my head feels as if it’s being crushed in a vice, apparently just had a grand mal seizure, (though thankfully not the kind where I piss my pants), had my drivers license revoked for three months, and still am no closer to figuring out how the hell I got here.
Eventually, upon my release from the ER, I made my way to the firehouse where my bike was located (OFD Fire House #24, whoop whoop), and the fella who snagged it for me explained that my glucose was on point, and my blood pressure and heart rate were both normal, if not a bit low, which to his perspective was weird, because after something like that, they should have been spiked.
So this is a long winded way of saying that I think caffeine coupled with a naturally low resting heart rate/blood pressure is a thing I should probably avoid, and also that I’m going to take a couple of days off. I have a splitting headache, and meeting with a neurologist today, was put on some anti seizure medication which I don’t trust, though will probably be off of tomorrow, and above everything am just generally completely exhausted.
I’ve been hitting it pretty hard recently, and I think I need a couple of days in bed.
I hope as the audience of this here site, you approve of this break, and I apologize in advance.
We’ll be back to normal, in no time… Or at least just as soon as I find out I’m not dying of anything other than over-radness.
Until then, I’m giving me a break, ’cause I sure need one