Here we are once again at the head of a weekly effort, and I’m coming out of the gate hot with the wildly inspired rhyming with the day of the week, and ‘booze’. Am I the first in history to make that association? Because I just came up with it, and no one has ever wielded the English language quite so deftly as I, I’d say the answer is likely yes.
So congratulations to you for coming here to the All Hail The Black Market web project yet again, where you shan’t hear even a whisper of how prohibitively expensive cranks can reduce ankle fatigue, (or whatever other garbage I could mindlessly pontificate about) because A) I don’t care, and B) I’m not 100% full of absolute shit. I’d say 35% of the time at best, and that’s on my most full-of-shit days, though those rarely last past mid-morning anyway.
That said, I suppose it would be time to conjure a bit of fodder with which to hold your momentary attention, lest I abandon my official bike blog douchebag (same diff) credentials, and return from the heavens to walk among the commoners.
Firstly, Katie from Thorpe Marketing reached out some months ago with an offer for an array of Finish Line products. I was in the throes of my move from my old life to my new one, and chain lube was understandably the furthest thing from my mind, so I thanked her for the consideration by saying something along the lines of ‘thank you for the consideration‘, and went on about putting my world back together.
Well, I’ll be damned if that fine bean didn’t come through with her offer, and fired me off a box of some goodies that made my head spin;
What we have here from left to right is their mechanics’ brush set, mechanics’ grip gloves, bike wash, sealant, and wet lube, all of which is just as sexy as you’d imagine it to be.
So for the sake of total transparency, since relocating, I left my five gallon bucket and all of my cleaning tools behind in the Bay Area. I no longer have a hose, so washing my bikes involves a long slog to someone’s house where hopefully they’ll let me use their water.I’m happy to have a new brush set, which I will surely use if I ever end up in a place that doesn’t look like a paralyzingly generic murder scene from Dateline mysteries.
Secondly, in all of my years as either a professional or home mechanic, I’ve never used gloves. I’m sure the various oils, solvents, lubricants, and so forth have done my liver no good, so perhaps it’s high time for me to turn over a new leaf.
The bike wash spray I still use is the watered down remnants of a bottle I received at a Kona Bikes launch a million years ago. It used to be bright pink, but now it’s just kinda mostly clear. The arrival of this was extremely well timed, as was the sealant. I just put a new tire on my cross/gravel/hybrid/comfort bike and to say the existing sealant was dry as a bone would be an insult to dry bones.
And finally, the wet lube that Finish Line has always made is a staple. It’s the flagship product, the work horse, the unwavering friend you can count on when you’re in jail and your family is ignoring your phone calls. Needless to say, I was in desperate need of all of these items and I can’t thank Katie, Thorpe, and especially Finish Line for keeping me in mind when throwing darts at the names of people who might receive them. I might be a mediocre mechanic, but when it comes to the products I use, I demand only the best…
Be given to me for free…
And possibly out of pity.
As a matter of fact, I utilized a few of these fluids before skedaddling off to sea and the woods with my homie Amanda the other day for a mixed terrain rip to a place I’ve never been before, and the name of which I can’t remember, in order for her to get a tattoo, and for me to drink some beers by myself, before making the exhausted slog back to civilization;
Though it doesn’t need to be said- Playing bikes with friends is better than just about anything in the world.
Moving on to other topics- Have any of yinzers seen this clip of Greg Minnaar’s recent run at the Val di Sole 2021 Worlds dust bow?l;
Apparently The Goat is still pretty good on a bike.
I’m sure I’ve said it before, but I don’t think the word ‘gadzooks’ is used nearly with enough frequency any more, and in this instance, is right on point.
Finally, because I waited until the very final hour in hopes that something of interest would cross my desk, and nothing did, I’ll mention that I have three scrapes of new product in the store to fill the vacant hole in your soul.
The first being two new decals, (or ‘deckalls’ if you’re Canadian);
And the the other being the badass new 5″ cuffs;
When it comes to keeping a grip of a tennis racket, my hands have never been so sweat-free.