This just in! I’m on vacation!

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Well, it’s not technically a vacation, but as the architect behind W.S.A.T.U., I have medium-sized plans which involved releasing myself from my immediate environs in order to go wizard it up someplace else, picked quite at random by a spin of a dial.

You’ll know if your town was chosen when I tap you on the back and ask you for spare change.

That said, Friday the 21st’s post will be postponed until Wednesday the 26th.

I thought it best not to board a plane on Sunday.

Given my current status on the ‘do not board’ list, I figured cold sweats and spontaneous declarations of being the most wizardy wizard of all would not bode well for future travel plans.

So anyhow, let’s get down to business.

You know what rules? This does;

First place wins a super cool trophy and a compressed spine.

Never being one to let my own compressed spine get in the way of a good time, I recently went on a bikecycle ride, (which I do from time to time) and I took a photo of my socks (which I also do from time to time).

These weren’t just any socks, but these came straight from Mark Adam Abramakowitzingham of KindHuman, and I mentally made note to title said photo “I’m a Kind Human from the ankles down“;
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They make me feel important… Kinda like I was part of a club;
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If you would like to experience that feeling as well, go here, eventually.

But remember, rule number one of the Red Socks Club is to never step on the head of another member of the Red Socks Club;
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That is an ejectable offense.

Now let’s take a casual stroll through the mail bag.

First up from Captain Dave of Ironclad Cycling, word came down that one of their own, (as well as one of the nicest people you’d ever want to meet) has recently done extraordinarily well for herself;

Hi Stevil,

We’ve been friends a while now, and you’ve “sponsored” my Ironclad/Yakima team up here in Portland for a few years as well. And by ‘sponsor’ I mean occasionally breezing through town and taking my plumbing to the mat.

In return, we fly your logo right at the very top of our ass cracks;
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Anyhow, in racing news, I couldn’t be more proud to share with you that our Anna Grace Christiansen fought, clawed, and scratched her way to winning the best amateur jersey at the Nature Valley Gran Prix on the last possible day in Minnesota;

A good opening TT had her in striking distance, and day after day she nipped away at the leader’s heels and finally usurped the coveted green Best Amateur. On the same day, the good luck spilled over to our Leia Tyrell, here in Oregon taking the OBRA State Road Race champion jersey.

Anyhow, Anna’s is a special story as last year, she totally sold her soul to get her then teammate, Brianna Walle, the ticket to the Nature Valley Grand Prix where she also won the jersey and subsequently signed her first professional contract with the OPTUM p/b KBS team. Brianna’s win was set up by selfless riding by Anna Grace, who did all the work in the qualifying race to set up Brianna’s win.

Just when things were looking up, the dastardly duo of illness and injury reared its ugly head. Anna got sick with a dose of pneumonia. Then had a relapse. Then had a crash, which got her cut open, which got infected, which sidelined her for some of her best opportunities in Oregon’s vaunted stage races.

Grit, guts, and perseverance, and a healthy dose of grace under pressure, saw Anna coming back, quietly training hard, getting back to her top fitness. Obstacles overcome, she won the qualifier race up in Washington, punched her ticket to Nature Valley, and the rest is history;
Anna Grace Christiansen
We’re all so very proud of her, and you should be too. Perhaps you can sashay into town and challenge her plumbing instead of mine on your next visit.

xo Dave

Everything that Dave says is absolutely true. I don’t do jack as far as sponsorship of the team goes aside from cause troubles with both plumbing and team member’s eventual entry to Heaven. Just the same, Anna Killed it (capital K) and I couldn’t be prouder to have my imprint associated with the greatness that is she, as well as the rest of her teammates.

In other news trickling out of Minneapolis West, Nick from 21st Ave Bikecycles made the contact in order to let me know they’ve recently ‘dropped‘ a new ‘edit‘ which looked something like this;

Stevil,

We have a new shop video and it’s pretty darn great, if I dare say so myself.
Coming hot on the heels of Cheever’s starring turn for PDW, this establishes that Minneapolis West is a hotbed for people being filmed sitting next to their bikes in parks.

As always we’d be most appreciative if this could find its way onto the pages of AHTBM.

Best Regards,
Nick Wood

Never let it be said that I’m not one who adores promoting independently run bike shops, young love, or anything featuring a soundtrack by Journey.

And finally in closing, and speaking of Cheever, from Shane I received probably the most disturbing email I’ve gotten in at least three days;

Could you ever convince Cheever to try this?
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Could I ever convince him to engage in child abuse, or to get him to cut his hair like that?

Either way, I would suspect not. He is a lover of all creatures, and like Sampson, is one who maintains power through his locks.

Alrighy folks…. I’m up and I’m out. If you get a call from a 510 number this weekend, be sure to pick up because I’m probably stranded at the bus station.

I hope that all of you have a brilliantly wizardy weekend and may the best staff win.

Fruit faces get bonus points.
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8 Responses to “This just in! I’m on vacation!”

  1. 1speedlos June 19, 2013 at 4:29 am #

    I sure hope Boise’s on the wheel of (mis)fortune…

    Los

  2. cary June 19, 2013 at 5:40 am #

    I rate each one of your posts on the ‘giggle curve’ and this ones about an 8.9 due to the young love vid. I don’t have to worry 510 showing up in South County, you’ll never find my apartment. I can’t find my apartment.

  3. Derek June 19, 2013 at 5:51 am #

    Why am I not surprised that those children are in a Little Caesars?

  4. pedalman June 19, 2013 at 6:19 am #

    Was hoping for some final training tips in regard to W.S.A.T.U. Should I be tapering right now or drinking heavily?

    • Stevil June 19, 2013 at 6:23 am #

      Water. The holier the better, but filtered will work as well. Also don’t neglect whole foods and a complete round of vitamins for the next few days. Do you think champion hotdog eater Takeru Kobayashi trains by just eating hotdogs? No, he eats well, goes to the gym, and trains methodically. This is serious business.

  5. Dave June 20, 2013 at 2:58 am #

    Not gonna lie, I damn near scared my cat laughing my ass off at the Cheever Video. Excellent post full of lolz.

  6. JapanTrack June 20, 2013 at 10:04 am #

    I honestly didn’t know there was a Nature Valley Team. I love their products!!

  7. Jake June 20, 2013 at 7:35 pm #

    That pic of those boys and mother reminds me of the time we were in Eugene (Tour of Willamette) minding our own business waiting in line at the local supermarket and a young man who looked allot like those boys picked up a wresting action figure off the shelf and begged his mother to buy it for him, she turned at him in disgust and yelled, “We are a WCW family!… just wait until I tell your father about this”.