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18 Responses to “One for the weekend from Abe.”

  1. Jim September 5, 2009 at 7:58 am #

    What does he have invested in that bike with the nice Groppo – about $7k? And it’s 17 pounds? I might have just taken the $7k and bought a Scott Addict off the shelf. And maybe saved $70 by not buying a jersey that only George Hincapie or Levi Leipheimer have earned the right to wear.
    But that’s just me, and I’m no porn star.

  2. dpow September 5, 2009 at 8:58 am #

    the 3 inches of cable hanging off the front brake is the new gold standard for PRO mechanics.

  3. Eric September 5, 2009 at 9:01 am #

    The douchebaggery is hardly subtle, the think the correct way to describe this guy is ‘cockbag’.

  4. sean hurl September 5, 2009 at 1:25 pm #

    Amazing! Did you see how effortlessly he lifted that bike off the ground. Is he a cyborg or perhaps a super human? no mere mortal could make a turd shine that bright. If only he was 40 I can only imagine watching him crush Levi in the tour of California. I guess one can only dream.

  5. jimmy September 5, 2009 at 3:16 pm #

    fucking goon

  6. Stevil September 5, 2009 at 8:42 pm #

    Yes Eric, I agree. The overall one-two punch of douchebaggery is obviously apparent, but it is the myriad of tiny little subtleties that when conjoined together make this man a gigantic DNA strand of lamesness. That’s what I am talking about.

  7. Robot September 6, 2009 at 4:58 pm #

    The only real problem I see is spending $7K on a road bike. I mean, if I had $7K to spend on a bike, I’d get a motorcycle and use it jump buses.
    But you know, whatever gives you a boner.

  8. JP September 6, 2009 at 6:13 pm #

    It’s all about Performance!!

  9. big jonny September 7, 2009 at 12:17 am #

    Worst part is I spend a few years of my life selling people bike just like that. If they could afford to buy, we’d bolt it on. Cash in the register means the shop is making money. Slam him if you want, but 40-something dudes rolling $7k bikes is what keeps the lights on in the bike industry.

  10. Elgee September 7, 2009 at 7:41 am #

    Oh my farking god. Is that a Jersey or a girdle? Top shelf duechebaggedness at it’s finest. Where is the anal probe that is supposed to be on the seat?

  11. uranhermit September 7, 2009 at 9:02 am #


  12. -dan September 7, 2009 at 3:58 pm #


  13. Stevil September 7, 2009 at 4:08 pm #

    Slamming? Yes.
    40-something dick heads are keeping the lights on? Yes.
    Civics rolling with twice their cost in accessories attached? Yes.
    Does Jack Lawrence claim on his website that he’s a former professional cyclist? Yes.
    Do I still think that guy’s not that rad? Yes.
    Is ‘fashion over function’ the lifeblood that keeps the industry afloat? Yes.
    Is that a sustainable business model? Not really.
    Do I have the answer? No.
    Would you like me to ask more questions? Probably not.
    Was Urge Overkill poised to be one of the greatest bands in the world until they snorted their entire career? I think so.
    Are scrambled eggs one of my favorite foods? Yes.
    Am I finished? Yes.

  14. Anonymous September 9, 2009 at 10:09 am #

    17 pounds is “a little heavy”? Better hit the gym/’roid dealer, Jack.

  15. snombie September 9, 2009 at 2:57 pm #

    Further reference from Urban Dicktionary…
    Public Douchebaggery
    When someone acts like a douche bag in public they are guilty of the offense “Public Douchebaggery”
    Howard got drunk, pulled his pants down and curled one on the dance floor thus committing the ultimate act of Public Douchebaggery.

  16. paul September 9, 2009 at 9:39 pm #

    His kit is severely lacking for his level of douchebaggery.
    I love seeing ding dongs like him pedaling away about 3 or 4 gears off,love handles and gut packed into a discovery jersey, trolling down the bike and hike.

  17. Jon September 10, 2009 at 8:41 pm #

    That dude’s name is really Larry Guynes. Bay area road folks will remember him getting blasted off the back of the Cat 3 field racing for Veloce Velo in the mid 1990s.

  18. cx March 19, 2011 at 6:46 am #

    You are fucking kidding me!!! Why would anyone remember a Cat 3 race from the mid-90’s. You race geeks crack me up!