The future is now.


Personally I’ve never gotten what the connection between the bicycle world and men who dress like women is. In all of the years of doing the dfL series, I’ve never put on a skirt, a garter or even a wig. The last few years of domestic single speed Worlds events have looked more like a Rocky Horror Picture show midnight matinee than a bike race.. Is it people showing how seriously they don’t take bicycle racing?
Granted, I’ve donned a pair of a tiny girl’s tinyer shorts on occasion, but mind you, this was only in a casual social setting. Nothing quite so weighty as our cherished two wheeled athletic pursuit.

Someone in Boulder is quaking with rage, and I can’t say I blame them.
Now then, I’m sure you’re all on pins and needles wanting to know about how this year’s Interbike extravaganza went down. For my part, I was extraordinarily hopeful that due to our faltering economy, manufacturers would rely on their own designs and concentrate on making a quality product and presentation above filling their booths with hired talent who, if when touched, would retain a dent;
Photo stolen from, of course.
This was only partially the case, but any advance away from using bimbos to promote their products is a step in the right direction.
Anyhoo.. Before my camera went missing I had all kinds of photos of all kinds of cool stuff like a bitchin creamy Colnago fixie and its tantalizing rear drops. Fortunately JMac got a shot of me shooting that, and it’s in black and white for your aesthetic pleasure;
*I had photos of the WTB booth and their super killer new line of city riding goods that will be going by the name Freedom, the ‘holy cow’ product from which is the ‘Thick Slick’.
Fortunately for me, Chipps was on the same page;
If I can remember correctly, their tag line on the product cards is ‘Dont buy this. Buy the movement’.
Amen, WTB. Amen.
*I met with Jim from Voler clothing and began a preliminary conversation regarding the production of the much anticipated AHTBM kit.
*I slapped hands and got my bromance on with Ben and Jesse from Handsome Cycles while we discussed the finer points of industrial subterfuge and corn fed Midwestern girls.
*I spent time chit chatting with the folks from White Industries and taking photos of the mouth watering sexiness surrounding them.
*At the urging of Captain Sporty Pirate, I stopped over at the Profile Racing booth and took a look at their rear single speed mountain bike hub, which may have been one of the coolest items at the show.
Just touching it, you know that they have changed the rules of the game.
*I spent a ridiculous amount of time with John and Joe from VooDoo Cycles, and was clued in on some top secret information that I am not at liberty to discuss here, but suffice it to say that you’ll want to keep an eye fixed on them in the coming year.
*I met with a myriad of possible advertisers, drank beer with some industry luminaries while being interviewed for a web cast about bikes and beer in the media fish bowl, while simultaneously sweating my ass off, was given a sandwich from Barry Wicks in the Kona booth, bottles and bottles of beer from Billy and Rob at the Chrome booth, a hug from Steve Peat in the Smith booth, a reacharound from Sov in the Surly booth, a long overdue display of affection and exchange of words with Tim at the Masi booth, and possibly what was the most exciting to me, a warm embrace and a chance to catch up with the very dear Antonio Colombo at the Cinelli booth.
All of this, and so much more was documented event-by-event on my camera, and sadly, the night of the Soulcraft/AHTBM throw down, my little blue sidekick went missing. Fortunately for us though, there were a slew of other people around whose cameras were not lost, and God willing I will be getting those trickled through as the week progresses. For now however, here is a selection from my dear friends Amigo #4, Ryan, Chipps, John, JMac, and Brian Vernor;
In no particular order, this is what parts of our eyeballs saw, first during the day, and then after the sun went down;
sturmy3xfixed 2.jpg
velocity roulette.jpg
From time to time I’ll come up with a sweet idea for a sticker and forget to write it down.
Other times I will will remember to take notes and then the following day I’ll have a record of what potentially is a fine idea to market.
During the night in question however, this was not one of those times;
Waking up at o’dark thirty the following day, or perhaps it was the day after, with Simon assaulting me in my sleep by punching me in the jewels, I made my return into the city streets and walked back to the scene of the crime to try and locate my camera. Shortly after my arrival, Red Hot Richie and his crew of all night alley catters bombarded the front door and attacked me in my blind spot, which at this point of the week was what my entire field of vision was comprised of, and graciously invited me to eat breakfast with them.
There was no camera, but biscuits, gravy and Budweiser turned out to be a suitable pacifier in the mean time.
2009’s Interbike was truly a whirlwind like few others I’ve experienced, the final substantiation of which is that until 1:30 on Saturday afternoon, I was of the committed opinion that it was already Sunday.
That’s concrete proof that we had a decent time..
At this point I can only quote someone who was much smarter than I am and say “after all is said and done, there wont be much left to say or do”, so it is with that, that I mention until you experience this disaster for yourselves, you cannot imagine how difficult it is to sit down and recount.
There was some stuff that happened before and some stuff that happened after, but I’ll be damned if I can figure any of it out. That’s what’s nice about having my own photographic evidence, which of course somebody in Las Vegas is now in possession of, and in all honesty, it’s kinda too bad for them, if you know what I mean….
Thanks for sitting tight, and I hope that I never have to do it again.
You know- at least until next year.

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17 Responses to “The future is now.”

  1. Bluenoser September 27, 2009 at 9:27 am #

    Sorry about the camera but like what I see so far. I’m so Vegas. Canada has nothing like Vegas…

  2. cary September 27, 2009 at 9:28 am #

    Losing that camera has serendipitously affected your Interbike experience and resulted in the perfect accounting of a Las Vegas event. You think Hunter Thompson was walking around with a camera? All in the minds eye brother.

  3. Gene o September 27, 2009 at 9:38 am #

    When you gamble sometimes you lose………….., your camera.
    Youre still a winner though……….., not your camera.

  4. coby September 27, 2009 at 9:43 am #

    Three cheers for freak shows and the LGBTGREA or however many categories fill that group now. The dfL final was a peach.

  5. Christo September 27, 2009 at 12:40 pm #

    Nice to have you back man, I’d had AHTBM withdrawals.

  6. maggie September 27, 2009 at 5:42 pm #

    you’ve got me thinking. i now want to start researching and possibly filming a documentary about the love children of interbike.

  7. pedalman September 27, 2009 at 6:07 pm #

    How much for some of the belgian mud? I know you got some.

  8. uma September 28, 2009 at 8:42 am #

    See? I’m not the only one making Hunter S. Thompson comparisons. It’s a compliment. I think.

  9. 'fers September 28, 2009 at 9:00 am #

    Best Interbike summary. Hands down.
    Please ensure that every AHTBM tshirt features iron-on decals.

  10. ERIC September 28, 2009 at 12:32 pm #

    Bimbos are people too… they are merely pawns in the great marketing game. Of course, if they challenged themselves to find a profession involving more skill than *donning diminutive clothing* they might get a little more respect… Awesome recap, welcome back.

  11. MG September 28, 2009 at 12:51 pm #

    What is El Corpo doing passed out in the booth on his first night in Vegas. Getting softy.

  12. chris duncan clothing September 28, 2009 at 12:57 pm #

    Yes sir the Vegas spiders are all over me still

  13. heyride September 28, 2009 at 7:17 pm #

    i sure as hell hope this gentleman was promptly disqualified, arrested and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for this blatant act –

  14. hillary Waddell September 28, 2009 at 8:02 pm #

    I missed you in Vegas, and you took the same damn pictures I did except I got a hot pic of the luna boys. Where the fuck were you?

  15. rocky September 28, 2009 at 8:53 pm #

    good summary of interbike. i wanted to go just to find out what happens at a ‘launch party.’ from the photos it looks like a really good show where the band forgets to show up but no one cares.

  16. reverend dick September 28, 2009 at 10:48 pm #

    Is that a tear-away shirt?

  17. FunkyLaneO September 30, 2009 at 11:40 am #

    Because they take Cross seriously in Vegas
    Nothing says “Serious” more than an Elvis impersonator.