Possibly the world’s first beer hand down occurred this past weekend and it went off without a hitch..
Since I have no photographic evidence of the event, you will have to rely on your imagination.
If your imagination doesn’t work, then you should simply refer to the drawing I just did;
There I was riding like a champ, all fat and pasty, as I withdrew my AHTBM cüzie wrapped beverage from my jersey pocket. I caught the eye of a bearded ne’er-do-well standing next to a shipping container and tossed the parcel, calling ‘heads up’ to make the pass.
The can bounced off the container and fell to the ground. He yelled “all right!” and I said “it’s a beer hand down. Tell your friends. It’s going to revolutionize the sport!“
I then missed the turn and crashed into the tape.
Other than that, it was perfect.
For those of you who’ve been asleep at the wheel, ‘the hand down’ was a brain child of Captain Dave in response to disqualifications occurring for riders caught taking a hand up.
Dave is a thinker, and when push comes to shove, much to the dismay of the shover in question, he typically returns the favor.
Oh, by the way, the drawing is available to the highest bidder. (*Update-The drawing’s sold, and presumably thrown away at this point.)
I hate the thought of my parents feeling like my art school education was wasted.
In other news, here is a clip from Michael, that the hirsute in our bunch might be appreciative of;
“this might be the best invention of out century!”
In prison they call goatees ‘face vaginas’.
Or it could be that I just made that up.
While we’re on the topic of hirsute individuals, early this week, the artist formerly known as Intern A rolled though my locale for a bit of business, but luckily had enough time to go out and get a quick spin with me.
Here he describes when he wiped his ass with Poison Oak;
That gaze of horror you see in his eyes is not fabricated. He was reliving the misery as he spoke.
“.. So I just grabbed the biggest, softest leaves I could find…”
Those big, soft leaves stand as proof that God has a sense of humor.
The dirts from Soil Saloon have another ho down happening in San Francisco this evening;
I have gotten periodic grief for not making it to any of these, and now that I am sans job, I thought I might be freed up, but as it turns out, for this one anyway, I’ve gotten the opportunity to attend a JanSport bag release/press junket.
It seems that the company has picked up the pace in the realm of bicycle related baggage, and are debuting them at an exclusive event, to which I assuredly will be the only one arriving by bike.
I’ve been told that in as far as the bike bags go, I am free to photograph and report back on what I see, which I can assure you I will.
Once I’ve had my way with the open bar and free food.
And by ‘had my way with’, I mean rape and pillage in a way that would make Vikings blush with embarrassment.
Up in the utopia of Portlandia there is a screening of We Just Work Here tomorrow night that will benefit the Oregon Food Bank;
If you haven’t seen the film, I recommend you check it out. It’s a groovy little flick about the lives and loves of a bunch of folks who work/have worked at Santa Cruz Bicycles, but that being said, it’s not a cookie cutter mountain bike film. It’s considerably deeper than that, plus your cover charge goes to a worthy cause, so get on the good foot.
Now here is a clip from DPow! that if it doesn’t bring at least a half of a smile to your face, you maybe should check your pulse;
All I gotta say is Grandma is gonna be pissed.
Colin gave me a shout from heaven letting us all know that even though they are up to their eyeballs in leis and luaus, they still have time to get their rad on;
Just thought I would drop you a line and let you know that another successful 24 Hours of Hell in Paradise has just finished. I posted a bunch (well not a bunch, since in true Kualoa Ranch style there were downpours which caused problems with cameras…. sigh.) of pictures on Flickr. Kendall Sexton of Crosstown Couriers won overall (which is great, since he’s an actuall messenger and beat everyone with a heart rate monitor…)
Overall it was great… as usual.
At that same location, a buddy of mine is putting a 3 stage mtb race, pro/am style 10/28-11/2. Lots of big names are supposed to be coming, should be awesome. There is more info at Hawaii Pro Am(dot)com.
Alright. Now we’re talking. I’m happy to go to Portland for the SSCXWC, or to Minneapolis for the Homie, but I think it’s about time I start going to the islands to report on what they’ve got cooking there.
It’s a tough job being an amateur journo, but somebody has go to do it.
Alright. I’m outta here, but before I go, I have new cüzies in stock. They look like the ones depicted, but they are a little more bomber. They’re still $6.00 each, and if you want one, Pay Pal me at stevil(at)allhailtheblackmarket.
I also have stickers, plus a bunch of other stuff that is unrelated to AHTBM.
T-shirts should be showing up this week, but when your printer is a total stoner, you take what you can get.
That’s it on this end. Time for me to get back to snorting piles of gold dust off the wings of angels.