Not only is being self righteous difficult..

But being this pretty is no walk in the park either.

I guess as I expected, I caught a bit of flack for some of what I wrote on Wednesday, and after spending a few hours returning serves and attempting to explain myself, I felt tired and in need of a quick 25 to 30 mile refresher. While I was out enjoying the sunshine, an interesting thing took place. I was actually penning an entire post in my head. Word for word, it was coming as naturally as something that … Um.. comes very.. naturally.
You should have heard it. It was poetry, but alas, as soon as I arrived home, my mind was as blank as it usually is.
I believe the gist of what I was thinking about is that regardless of what kind of bike you ride, if you insist on riding top speed past someone either walking up, riding up, or working on the trail in question, I’m gonna think you’re a dick, and as such, will use this forum to make it be known. For anyone who took exception to my words, if you don’t do any of these things, then you are not to whom I was referring.
Besides, I suspect that the people who I was referring to would generally rather be caught dead than spending time on this site, and really for that matter what difference does my opinion make anyway?
My insight should matter about as much as anyone else who you don’t know.
I suppose the ultimate irony in all of this is on the very day I was working up there, a tractor apparently was grating a nearby bit of trail which at one time was that smooth, loamy, twisty, single track that has since been covered with jumps, bridges, chutes and ladders, (not to mention being made about four times wider in the process) that I was referring to.
Before (No good. Singletrack is sooo 1998.)
After (Obviously, so much better.)
But, now that The Man’s done with it. Dirt road in Northwestern Oklahoma near  Kingfisher May 2005.jpg
What’s magical about all of this is that at the end of the day, none of it matters. We are after all, little more than mere blips on the radar screen of history and in 30 years, (30 months, 30 weeks, 30 days) no one will even remember this discussion occurring.
I suppose that all of this could be summed up relatively simply by saying that it’s a good idea to maintain that which you love, and if you’re out riding, don’t be an asshole.
Boom, doneski. Somebody make a t-shirt.
On to other matters. After completing the kit orders on Wednesday, I’ve come to realize that while some of the readers are indeed very average in size, there are handfuls of them that are freakishly large. I mean, when I saw that Voler had XXXL items available, I sort of thought it was a novelty size, like ski ball glasses, or one of those giant bow ties, but alas, not only was that size requested, but repeatedly.. It was like the Land of the Giants finally got an internet connection and they all came to my site at once.
There is no word yet whether or not this will result in ‘The Great Lycra Shortage of 2010’, but I’ll keep my ear to the ground and will report it here first.
Before I pull the plug on this subject, never to breathe a word of it again until the UPS person drops them on my doorstep, I want to say thank you for helping me make this project a reality.
Obviously I could have twisted designer Kim’s arm behind her back till the cows came home in terms of getting the graphics done, but without the orders, that wouldn’t have been worth anything, and the sheer volume of the orders placed has been absolutely astonishing.
And in the spirit of being honest, I thought about taking the money and skipping to Mexico exactly twice.
Speaking of Kim’s arm, volume, honesty and Mexico, Andy from Surly Bikes wrote in;
“Coaster puke: Is that YOU?!
Did you know Surly has really tall, thickish socks available now, just in time for warmer weather? It’s true. They match well with knee length pants so that you don’;t have to wear full tights and look like Milli Vanilli. I don’t actually have a picture of the sicks yet, so instead I am including a picture of Dave.
It’s nice out today. Don’t forget your shiv.”

Andy’s a knowledge dropper, don’t you know?
Mike also sent me an email which broaches an equally random topic that now pollutes my brain;
“Hey Stevil Let me preface this email by admitting I live in a small Canadian town. A place that is not exactly the cultural epicenter of the nation, just the same I was a bit stunned (& excited) but the latest pastry offering at the local cafe;
I stuck with the carrot cake.

Just on general principle, I would absolutely annihilate the nut buster cake.
I actually think it might be my calling.
Hey do you all like buttons? You know, you can put ’em on your backpack, or your mechanic’s jacket, or your propellor beanie, or your orange jumpsuit… Personally, I think buttons are pretty sweet, and to honor their sweetness, I’m getting some made that look like this;
You know, but round, and smaller.
Get a button and show the world what you think of visors.
Christ. I know I said I wasn’t going to do this, but something’s come up…
In an absolutely dumbfounding turn of events.. Just moments ago (like, Thursday afternoon) I got off the phone with Jim from Voler, and due to their (completely warranted) reservations about us meeting the minimums, they gave me the previously declared March 18th cut off.
Lucky for us the minimums were met and Jim has not only bumped up our delivery slot to the first week of June, but he has very graciously extended the window in which I can place more orders.
To be exact.. a four week extension..
I can’t blame them for this, as I am a small enterprise, and they had no way of knowing if my order would actually be worth their time.
I’m as surprised as you are by this. Here I have been busting everybody’s balls, because I thought Voler would brush me off without so much as a ‘get bent’ if I didn’t step up to their rules, and I guess their initial request of a ten day order window was sort of a test to see how serious we were.
I feel like I’ve been running a marathon, and killing myself to win only to find out I crossed the finish line days ago.
Anyway, the store is back online, and if you missed out the first go around, we still have some time left.
As a gesture of gratitude, I think I’ll go ahead and send Jim an 8×10 glossy of my ulcer.
So again, thanks for your patience, your support and your understanding.
I’m gonna go lie down for a couple hours. Or days.
Don’t forget to party.

Spread this like it's sick

Leave a Reply

22 Responses to “Not only is being self righteous difficult..”

  1. Bubba March 19, 2010 at 7:39 am #

    Add one of them thar buttons to my already-placed order and you’ll have a guide to Munich beer-gardens for life.
    no, seriously.

  2. Jim March 19, 2010 at 8:01 am #

    Y’know, if I didn’t know about mountain biking and I saw that hole in the ground where sustainable single track used to be, I’d hate the fuckin’ mountain bikers too. And I’m a fuckin’ mountain biker.
    As for the pushback about the guys blasting by you, there’s an easier response than the ramble you articulated. It’s: be a dick, get the dick. I try to live by that maxim, since even if I didn’t apply it others would apply it to me.

  3. pedalman March 19, 2010 at 8:30 am #

    Even though I’m ordinarily something of a dimwit, there are times when I’m riding when I have moments of absolute clarity. It only happens when I’m way out in the sticks, hours from home and civilization. I’ve solved many a worlds problem out rolling by myself but unfortunately I don’t ride with a pen and paper and by the time I get home through the traffic and masses of stupid people trying to run me over, I forget everything.

  4. irishpunk59 March 19, 2010 at 8:40 am #

    hey write about what ever the hell you want to write about sheesh it’s your blog, fuck em

  5. 3Bills March 19, 2010 at 9:12 am #

    RIP Mailboxes…. I think I’m gonna be sick.

  6. Loren March 19, 2010 at 9:13 am #

    I was thinking about selling off my golf clubs the other day…. Disc golf is where it’s at anyhow.

  7. Tman March 19, 2010 at 9:29 am #

    That shot of Dave is either really disturbing or strangely romantic? Hessians unite……

  8. SteveB March 19, 2010 at 10:21 am #

    Stevil!! Im totally going to buy some of those buttons!! And hopefully I can scratch some cash together to get me a jersey from you too now that you have an extended deadline.

  9. Anonymous March 19, 2010 at 12:12 pm #

    I would like to order a visor. When will those be ready to ship?

  10. One Eyed z March 19, 2010 at 12:36 pm #

    I write entire posts in my head while on the bike as well. And then can’t remember a damn thing that I wanted to post once I’m in front of a computer. Too many years of drugs, booze and head injuries I guess.
    Its nice Voler gave you some more time. I’ll get to kicking some kids I know that have been dragging their feet to place an order.
    I was just showing the buttons you sent me a while back to a local artist friend. I need to send her a link to your flickr or Drunkingham, I’m sure she’d dig it.
    Keep doing what yer doing. Fuck the nay sayers

  11. Milkshake March 19, 2010 at 1:59 pm #

    Keep up the good work. There are those of us who are on your side and probably not as vocal. Don’t like what you read here? You probably should be reading something else anyway. Enjoy your copy of Maxim!

  12. Stevil March 19, 2010 at 2:04 pm #

    Or Decline.. I encourage folks to voice their differences of opinions. I don’t presume to have all the answers, and am always open to a debate, but if I know I’m right, I’ll gladly shut you down. Like Jim Goad once said “I’ve had my ass kicked plenty of times, but I’ve never lost an argument.”

  13. Steve I March 19, 2010 at 2:44 pm #

    I ran a marathon once. Half of it went by like a dream. Then I started to wonder if I bit off more than I could chew. Then I cramped up and wanted to die for the last 6 miles. I signed up for another one. You’re doing a great job.

  14. Karl Hungus March 19, 2010 at 2:59 pm #

    Message for Stevil’s Storm Troopers: He’s a big boy. I know you “got his back” and all, but I think he can handle a little keyboard jousting with someone as mentally challenged as myself on his own.
    Oh, and Stevil, I want to receive formal accreditation for my contributions to this post when you receive the statue for “Blog most likely to feature bacon and denim vests” at the “Blog of the Year” awards ceremony.

  15. Norcal Fanclub March 19, 2010 at 3:11 pm #

    So your designer was Kim Dow? No wonder the team kit is so lovely!

  16. Bluenoser March 19, 2010 at 5:26 pm #

    Glad to see you have recovered some from the carrot caking your taking over the trail thing. Being the volunteer firefighter I am, I think the perfect use for that visor would be to slip it down on that asshole’s neck and give it a couple of twists to make sure the golfball doesn’t go any farther. Friggin golfers, and they think we wear funny kits.
    When was the last time you seen a cyclist with a waterbottle jammed down his throat?… Ok, don’t answer that, because it scares me that you most likely can.

  17. Stevil March 19, 2010 at 6:13 pm #

    You can walk the red carpet with me any time.

  18. Colin M March 19, 2010 at 7:41 pm #

    I need a Womens Skin Suit in XXXL. Yes it is for my cyclocowser girlfriend. Do you have a problem with that?

  19. ken e. March 19, 2010 at 10:13 pm #

    YES!!! thank you lord! up here in the tax return soon zone…

  20. Chezedog March 19, 2010 at 10:18 pm #

    I guess I need someone to explain the rhubarb to me, ‘cuz I seem to have missed it…

  21. reeed March 20, 2010 at 5:31 am #

    its easy to make a visor out of someone’s trucker hat with a foldable saw or a machete, they don’t even have to take it off their head first! glad to see that you californicators haven’t gotten a jump on us minnesohdans in the tan department! all hail the pale!

  22. March 21, 2010 at 7:58 am #

    sweet puke shot. wait til you lose the whole post you have just penned in your melon. hate that fucking shit – happens to me all the time, especially after a super large pre-ride binger.