Arybody’s got they own kind of work ethic.
As the old saying goes, “when all is said and done, there won’t be anything left to say or do.”
Why start this post off with that quote?
Because I’m the boss.
First things first. You all might be happy to know that every single package made it to the post office without incident. After I came home I had a momentary bout of panic that one might go missing, but I settled my jangled nerves with a can of diet Tab and relaxed in the soothing confines of my meditation pyramid.
I would like to mention again that the shipping module on my site ended up charging about half of what it cost to ship each individual kit, so if, for example, you live in Washington DC, or Texas Or Colorado, or basically anywhere besides next door to me and you look at your order, you’ll see that you paid anywhere from 2.50 to 5.00 for shipping.
In the olden days that would have sufficed, but in contemporary times, not so much. If you’re feeling randy, and have a three to ten spot you could Pay Pal me to stevil@allhailtheblackmarket, that would be sweet.
If you are of the opinion that, “well, it’s his mistake. He’s got to live with it.” That’s cool too.
There have been times since I’ve launched this site that the learning curve has been excruciatingly steep. This particular misstep cost me a nearly a grand, but I suppose them’s maybe the breaks.
I always have blood and semen to sell to make up the difference.
By the way, the Scoutmaster has asked that I throw some of his goods up on the site that he would like to unload on some lucky buyer;
Make sure if you decide to purchase these, that your pants are equally fancy.
Now then, it’s Monday and I hope that everyone has had resting and relaxful weekends. As for me, I slept and ate and rode and added receipts and did gravity bongs with my Nana;
Good old Nana. She sure does like to party.
In other news, Ray forwarded me on an article that rocketed Gustav Larsson to the top of my list of favorite cyclists.
While Cycling Inquisition’s Carlos Alberto Del Castillo Cabeza De Vaca noted in an email to me that Gustav was a poseur for not owning all of Manowar’s catalog, I had to point out in response that my man built his own stereo, which all by itself gives him more credit than most could ever hope for.
He’s like the bike world’s own Todd Trainer.
As long as we’re throwing around the poseur word, I should include this photo that was also sent to me from Carlos Alberto Del Castillo Cabeza De Vaca of Immortal’s “superbly awesome Marshall stacks”.
It’s a wonder they can sleep at night. Maybe instead of ‘All Shall Fall’, their album should have been called ‘All Shall Fail’.
While we’re on the topic of things metal, and heavy, my ace link farmer and friend DPow! from Portland Design Works forwarded me this bit of wonderment;
Mr. Twitty obviously knows what’s up, and seriously, I could just get lost in that man’s eyes.
In the world of outlaw bicycle races, the dirts from Soil Saloon have been consistently knocking it out of the park. Due to THE MAN’s watchful eye, they’ve had to go even further underground, but still maintain cryptic correspondences such as the following;
“This July 1st, 7pm at the Cross.
This July 8th, 7pm @ ????.
This July 15th, 7pm @ ????????Marin Bicycles have stepped forward with a prize befitting those that attend and love the saloon. A bicycle. Yeah, hank and willy are pretty taken aback as well. Wanna know how to win it? Read on.
We don’t want to give it to the ‘winner’ of the series. Just cause yer fast and fluid don’t mean you’re the best rider of the bunch. We like off road riders with a sense of humor, a sense of style, and a penchant for all things wild west, outlaw, and ‘saurian. So, the way to win that sweet 29er from Marin is gonna be a photo contest.
Between now & July 18th – stop by the Marin Bicycles downtown SF store, and take a Soil Saloon themed picture with the bike (or others in the store if you feel so inclined, and if the nice folk there will letcha.) Costumes, creativity, and madness are encouraged. Picture perfect smiles and static poses are not. You must be present at the final race to win. Send entries to firstname.lastname@example.org. It might be a good idea to include your name and race # as well.
We’ve got other great prizes from Mike’s Bikes, Mojo, the Freewheel, De La Paz, and Toronado for the same fast fellas and ladies that we tend to see frequently at our events, and wild checkpoints, outlaw shenanigans, and boozies for everyone else.
Per typical, tell yer friends. Don’t tell your enemies. If someone fits inbetween those two categories, we leave it up to your best judgement to tell them or not.
So as is the general rule of thumb with the Soil Saloon events, if you know, you’ll go.
In other news of the whirld, Chip Baker, formerly of the San Franciscos, and currently of the Hup Unlimiteds gave word of a Pedros event that’s set to help support I.M.B.A.;
I am sooo stoked for the AHTBM kit! Gonna rock that thing hard man….well as hard as an old broken man can…but inside I am the same plucky 20 year old with a complete disregard for my own personal safety…
Can I ask a flava flave? Pedros is doing a raffle to help IMBA out. Could you spread the word a bit? It would be a huge help.
It’s hard to argue with such a worthy cause.
Now, for no particular reason, here is a sweet photo of a frog with a snail on his head;
A couple of weeks ago, Ian from Push Bike (who provided me with one of the two tool bags that caused all of the uproar) and I began discussing the possibility of a run of custom roll top All Hail The Black Market messenger bags, similar to the one modeled here by one Sarah Murder;
The only difference between mine and the one depicted would be a large Downzig logo screen printed across the back in black, reflective ink.
As per a correspondence on the matter between Ian and myself, the details of the bag are as follows;
“The bag is made from 1000 denier Du Pont cordura with a fully floating 18oz truck tarp vinyl liner. The bag doesn’t have any pockets, though I could put one inside but its going to add to the price just ’cause of the labor involved. The closed bag measures 18″x14″x6″ so the volume works out to 1512 cubic inches, that’s 558 jiggers or 25 liters.
We are retailing the Pushbike bag for $140.”
Most likely I will first obtain one for myself, and then shortly there after have them available on the site on a pre-order, by order basis. As always, I’m open to any and all thoughts on the matter.
As the sun sets on this post, I should say that I have received a few emails from folks notifying me that they would prefer their recently recieved jerseys to be a size up or a size down.
Since I didn’t order six of every size and every style, the next best course of action would be for each of these individuals to sell their items to some dear friend and then use the cash to place an order for the correct size.
If that isn’t going to happen, I will try and figure out some way to connect each of these folks with one another and let the nation wide exchange begin.
*Again, for anyone just now ordering, or curious as to what size they should have ordered, the sizing chart information can be found here.
As I had said previously as well, the cut of the jerseys isn’t race cut, in the Euro cut sense, nor are they club cut in the baggy t-shirt sense. Just as Voler expressed, they tend to fall in between the two, so as a 6’1″ 190 pounder, I wear a large.*
I am rapidly finding that you truly cannot make all of the people happy all of the time.
At any rate, if you would like to try and work out some kind of a swap, send me and email to email@example.com and I will try and figure something out.
*Update* For those of you on the book of faces, I just started this. Worse case scenario, you’ll end up finding a date.
For those who wait for with bated breath for fall to come, I present you with an email from Brendan;
Race 1 of the CX series went pretty well. as per usual, the fit guys won, and the unfit guys had fun. you will be happy to hear that the winner of the CX category was riding a singlespeed.
here’s a couple of gif files that, for me, nicely sum up the day.
It’s like a seizure inducing flashback of race ruining.
In other news entirely, from Gypsy The Punk, I offer one more reason Austin needs to grow legs and get the hell out of Texas.
Finally I would also like to include a mention that Jenny OH! and T.B.O came though town for a visit this weekend, which gave us the opportunity to get rad for a spell and then for me to shoot one of the best photos I’ve ever taken;
Eat your heart out Morgan.
It is right about now that I have to pull the plug on today’s installment on account of I just hurt my shoulder patting myself on the back.
Monday will soon be in the bag, and come 5:00, so should you.
Come to think of it, maybe I’ll meet you there.
‘Texas GOP platform: criminalize gay marriage and ban sodomy, outlaw strip clubs and pornography’ – has a real nice ring to it, should find it’s way into a Country tune before long I reckon…
just got me a rad-filled envelope in the mailbox, and had to say: this is the best fucking kit EVER. and if you & pushbike should “collabo” on a bag, well, i’ll be in line for that too.
$5 additional on the way via paypal to assist with the shipping fiasco – i woulda done $10, but i live in the same sin-filled coastal state as you do. so suck it.
Another thanks for the jersey. With my beer gut fast approaching, I am filled with joy that the jersey allows for a lil beer packing space.
That gif is fucking rad! I was having second thoughts about getting a bike ready for cross season, but this made me soil myself in anticipation. Bring it!
I’ve actually been in the market for a roll top bag, great timing. Looking fwd to placing an order. I did check out Pushbikes site and my only caution would be the placement of the sternum strap, it appears to be a bit low. So once you get yours, I’d like to see it and maybe try it on before ordering. Sarah Murder, I remember when she just moved to Frisco about 8 or 9 years ago. She looked to doll faced, esp. among a sea of otherwise grubby messenger types (I delivered for Pelican back in the day and even further back in ATL for COD, class of ’88). Cheers!
Old messengers never die, they just wish they did.
Troy, the sternum strap is adjustable, you should be able to set it up comfortably unless you are unusually big or small. Thought all you old messengers carried everything about in wire baskets anyway? Mrs Murder says she cant place you, probably one face among the many leering from the statue……..
Bag would be siick if the downzig logo was so big that only half of it fit on there.
hit up the soil saloon in my new htatbm digs…life is good.