Like sands through the hourglass.

“The only thing funny about time is that I don’t seem to have enough of it.”

I put quotes around that because I assume someone has said that before. Just to be safe, I said it a second ago.
Anyway, a lot has gone down in this past 2010. Why, it was just 12 months ago that I may or may not have originally introduced you to Lanolin and his burgeoning Ritte empire. Besides getting a couple of haircuts and being drunk at least once that I know of, it’s been a pretty big year for him.
.. And I suppose the same could be said for me.
An interesting thing that El Corpo said to me right before, or possibly just after telling me that I no longer had a job at Swobo, that while heading off into the sunset to be my own boss, was to set marked goals for myself. Take a snapshot of where I was right then, and with specific goals in mind, gauge where I would like to be 18 months later.
My first goal was to ride my bike and drown my sorrows, which I handled immediately. After that I took to looking at the long term.
With that in mind, aside from the Black Market kits, as well as other assorted goods, I knew that there was one project I wanted to see happen, and I can’t think of a better time for it to than here at the head of 2011. In association with Earth, Wind and Rider, I am very proud to present the All Hail The Black Market ‘Smokey and The Bandit’ wool replica full zip jacket/jersey;
It is without even a hint of irony that I say this movie (Smokey and The Bandit number one, not number two, in which he actually wore this jacket) might very well be one of my top 20 favorite films of all time, and for those of you who understand, there’s no need to explain.
For those of you who don’t, I can only say that I’m sorry for you.
Like the Black Market kits, I have to sell these on a pre-order basis for two reasons.
1) I don’t have the money to lay down for an initial minimum order.
2) Even if I did, I don’t have room to sit on a bunch of these in hopes that they eventually sell.
By doing it this way, each of these very customized garments will come in the specific size that you choose. It goes without saying that after this order is done, it will never happen again.
…Unless the parasites from Urban Outfitters catch wind of it, and begin mass producing them at some crap-hole in China, which in turn *might result in some firebombing of their corporate offices, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
* Probably will.
Anyway, the nuts and the bolts on the matter is this;
Starting now, I have a 90 day order window. All orders need to be placed by Wednesday, April 6th. Should I be slapped with a cease and desist order, which my lawyers say is more than likely, then all the more reason to get your order in sooner rather than later.
Each full zip jersey is painstakingly hand crafted out of Merino Wool, and are an absolute steal for 160.00 a piece.
The Earth, Wind and Rider garment sizing is true, so as they say in their sizing chart, if you wear a large jersey, then a large size is what you should order. Or you can decide for yourself;
as always, if you have any questions, please direct them to me at
In other news of unprecedented importance, thanks to advancements in modern medical sciences, I think I might finally have a crack at having enough middle fingers;
Or as the case may be, enough middle finger.
Ray sent me the following clip that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that the effort Albert and Nys expend within a 45 second window of the Azencross Loenhout is greater than what I expend in an entire race;

It really is something to behold and I hope that at some point I can witness such a thing in the flesh.
In closing, and regarding my typo-ed epitaph from last week;
Style Impresario, founder of Vice Magazine, and Street Boners, Gavin McInnes has seconded my notion that the H-word in indeed dead.
Though this is apparently old news, I’m still happy to finally have a partner with which to lower the casket into the ground.
So what have we learned here today? Besides from you needing to place an order for your own slice of history, not much. I had an interview penned and ready to go with a legend of the Bay Area bike scene, but it would seem as though he thinks the funny thing about time is the same thing I do.
Which really isn’t funny at all.

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Leave a Reply

21 Responses to “Like sands through the hourglass.”

  1. mark January 3, 2011 at 8:10 am #

    Hey, I saw this jersey at the Pottery Barn this weekend!
    Time to switch to Coors.
    P.S. – Lose the captcha.

  2. Stevil January 3, 2011 at 8:20 am #

    Mark wins the first and only comment regarding the rape of my beloved Budweiser jersey. From here, no more will be tolerated.
    Secondly, if I had a personal helper monkey that went through my inbox and the comment field in the backend of this site and deleted the hundreds of home loan and Russian porn spam emails I’d get, I would be happy to loose the Capcha, but until then, saving the readership a minor inconvenience, isn’t worth me getting saddled with a major one.

  3. tylernol January 3, 2011 at 8:33 am #

    one new year’s resolution I had was: no more cycling kit. This jersey is too awesome to pass up though.

  4. Chezedog January 3, 2011 at 8:50 am #
    Come in silver?

  5. Kevin January 3, 2011 at 9:53 am #

    That jersey is just plain awesome. Soon I will ride my bike and eat my cake in style.

  6. innerlighter January 3, 2011 at 10:43 am #

    One of the best cross vids of the season. At 6:06, best section in a cross race ever!

  7. blacksocks January 3, 2011 at 11:43 am #

    visualize ‘cross worlds, and you’ll get there. best bike race i’ve ever seen, hands down. and as you know, i’ve seen a few…

  8. curtis January 3, 2011 at 2:07 pm #

    I’m pretty sure I’m the only reader of this blog to have ever actually jumped a muscle car (sonofabitch landed like a… well, a car) as well as a bicycle, which is why I feel pretty obligated to buy that jacket.

  9. sarah January 3, 2011 at 9:01 pm #

    i like listening to the commentators. and yes, 6:06 is amazing!

  10. bRado January 3, 2011 at 9:03 pm #

    Stevil, I’ll Be your Dom Deluise Capt. Chaos side kick!

  11. Andy Reimer January 4, 2011 at 11:25 am #

    When I die will you lover my casket?

  12. Ghost Rider January 4, 2011 at 11:38 am #

    My wife will kill me if I buy that awesome wooly bit of sartorial excellence…so I’d better pass.
    @Curtis — nope, there’s at least one other commenter who has done the same (my high-school girlfriend’s Nova SS…yeah, I was a fool to let her go). Hell, I’ve even launched a Hyundai, a Golf GTI, a couple of trucks and my beloved ’76 Ford Granada. It was a rite of passage or something, and in none of those cases was it as cool or effortless as the Dukes made it appear.

  13. Oded January 4, 2011 at 1:13 pm #

    The 6:06 part reminded me of Excitebike.

  14. defoliant January 4, 2011 at 2:20 pm #

    Welcome to the club, Curtis. Were you, like me, raised by Bandit, Hooper, KITT, General Lee, and the A-Team?
    I too have jumped a muscle car. On an icy road. On purpose. It was fun in the summer so it must be even better in the winter. Right?
    It’s a good thing I had a full tank of gas to periodically run the heater through the night, as I had performed a 180 upon landing and stuffed the car into snow to the bottom of the doors. Yes, I had to dig the banana/snow out of the tailpipe. Of my 87 Chevy Nova.
    As cool as it is, I’m gonna pass on the repro though, bro.

  15. Cary January 5, 2011 at 4:52 am #

    Car jumping’s cool and all but, now that yall have mentioned it, I drove a 18 wheeler from 1980 to 1982 and my brother has always kept a Basset Hound. So with that street cred I could wear this jacket to the dive bar in my old home town at the foothills of the Blue Ridge and not get my ass kicked. Until someone discovered my Storck Scenario C. 0.9 locked out front. After that I’ll be riding some carbon fiber over a few Harley’s.

  16. Stacks January 5, 2011 at 5:00 pm #

    Billie Joe McKay in his plain black leather jacket was way sexier, rollin’ across America in his 18 wheeler, than Bandit in his show-off satin jacket and muscle car.

  17. Stevil January 5, 2011 at 7:57 pm #

    Billie Joe Mckay (Greg Evigan) went on to play the bearded kook in ‘My Two Dads’ opposite Paul Reiser. His career was tragic, while Burt Leon Reynolds The Third, was magic. For you Stacks, I will make a ‘BJ and The Bear’ tribute woolie that is plain brown. Now that’s an exciting garment.

  18. Stacks January 6, 2011 at 7:10 am #

    That’s a nice offer but I don’t think a garment such as these is appropriate for a sweet and spicy lady like myself.

  19. PisgahWorks January 21, 2012 at 11:57 am #

    Hey Stevil. Props on the Bandit wool design. Nice work. Sorry to shit down your throat. The last EWR label I saw said Made in China. The last time I talked to the owner of EWR he told me it was made in China. I had to choke it out of him. Unfortunately China manufactures 95-99% of merino wool produced in the World. Even the stuff that says Australian, the raw material travels to China where it is spun into yarn. Will you keep us mind for other merino goods? I design and make the highest quality products produced in the World, whether made here in AVL or some other crap-hole. Get your hands on one my pieces. I use the highest quality yarn available in the World. Feel the difference. I can get the shitty stuff too, if that’s what you’re into. When all else fails, Pisgah Works. Google it. -Peace

  20. Helene April 11, 2012 at 1:29 pm #

    Hi, i know i might bi to late, but is it still possible to buy that bandit jacket somewhere? I really want it!!
    Here in Norway we can’t this!!

    • Stevil April 11, 2012 at 1:36 pm #

      I am in the process of getting a new run set for pre-order. Just keep your eyes on the site, or the AHTBM Facebook page and you’ll know when we’re ready to go.