Handsome is as handsome does.

Something that I find to be particular distracting about my current vocation is how overwhelmingly attractive the people with whom I consort on a daily basis are. The fact of the matter is, it’s a wonder I get any work done at all;

Before we get into anything however, based on last week’s ass chewing I got about not notifying readers of questionable content, I would like to formerly announce that I have included a final image in today’s post that is sexually charged and graphic in nature. Anyone who is offended by the natural and beautiful attributes that God gave Adam in the likeness of his own should turn off the computer and get back to work.
Thank you.
So anyway, speaking of handsome people, Ben from Handsome Cycles has sent me a selection of some top secret images lately.
Some of which are so awesome I actually peed my pants a little, but I can’t post any of those quite yet.
For now we’ll have to be satisfied with a few that he sent me of former Bridgestone Bicycles pro Gene Overfiller at the recent Buckhill Birchbump atop Handsome’s own XO-1 tribute, the XOXO;
Is it 1992?
I understand that Gene’s response is that the XOXO rides exactly like the XO-1 did, which I guess means that Handsome has done their homework.
From Handsome’s home of Portland East, over to Minneapolis West, Captain Dave and his band of hairy cranksters have got twilight crits going off this weekend;
As a title sponsor who didn’t send anything but a bag of dirty laundry, it’s my duty to make mention of it, so there you go..
While Loudass doesn’t necessarily qualify as ‘one of the beautiful people’, he’s been around for so long, and hung around with so many that he kinda qualifies as one. Anyway, the other day he sent me an email that just said ‘art that doesn’t suck’, containing this lone image;
The longer you stare, the better it gets.
… Much like this image of Professor Gigantor Sporty Pants, with his leathers and mullet fully intact;
With his CW bars, JT skins, and T&C shirt, and do I spy a ‘no Bozos’ sticker on the back of his Zeronine plate?
You know my man had cred… You just didn’t know how much.
While handsome people obviously live all over the world, I understand one of the greatest concentrations of them is in Boulder, Coloradowheretheytakecyclocrossseriously.
Though despite the general beauty of Boulderites, apparently at least a few in the public works department have maintained a sense of humor as well, as indicated in an email from Renee;
“Hey Stevil
Thought I’d send along this pic of one of our new B-cycle racks with a bike for you;

It’s nice to know that Boulder is thinking of our ilk.
Moving on, but keeping on the topic of beer, bikes and women I haven’t yet chased out of the bike world, Katie came through with a reminder of the film fest/drunken field lounge-about benefitting Project Bike Trip that’s taking place this very evening;
Be there, or be the shape that rhymes with ‘there’.
In closing, the anger over ESPN reporter/meatbag Michael Smith’s comments regarding the collision heard ’round the world has continued to spread. Two worthwhile editorials on the matter are the ones written by Bicycling Magazine’s Joe Lindsey, and Bicycling Magazine’s Eben Ulysses Fernando Weiss (handsome people, both of them). Not surprisingly they individually summed up the idiocy and insanity of the situation with quickness.
In an email exchange with a friend, I began wondering if ESPN might put their money where their fetid, festering mouth was and book Flecha and Hoogerland for a post-Tour interview, so that Smith, and the rest of the ATH sods could have a face to face with the men in question, and have a frank discussion of just how hilarious the crash actually was.
Inspired by this discussion, he sent the following email to ESPN;
“To ATH Producers,
If you have the balls, why don’t you book Flecha and Hoogerland, the two riders who were hit by the TV car in the Tour on your ATH show after the tour, run the crash footage in a loop and show pictures of the injures and have your commentators look the athletes in the eyes and laugh like they did in the show and call the Tour a ‘joke’? Will they think it is laughable?
I am sure when they were 5th string football players or whatever they were before being a TV ‘personalty’ they were the first to hit the bench when they would suffer a hangnail. Both of these riders are still racing with 33 stitches in one of them.
Oh, sorry they never got off of the bench in the first place.
Well, do you have any balls?”

I’m going to guess no.
Lucky for them though, I have marginal Photoshop skills and was at least able to provide them with the other part;
Now that’s handsome.

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11 Responses to “Handsome is as handsome does.”

  1. Uma July 15, 2011 at 6:32 am #

    Another idea: Put asshat on a bike and let Flecha and Hoogerland drive. Make Smith ride just barely ahead of the car for hours… knowing… any moment… any second… it could happen NOW… OMG… OMG!!! he’s gonna get tapped and sent flying into barbed wire and gravel. I think THAT would be hilarious! HAhaha Just imagine Hoogerland’s hysterical manic expression as he fake-weaves all over the road until… Whups. Oh… Oh my… Aaah… hahahaha! I know there are some who might think this violent retribution would only beget more violent retribution, but sometimes straight up revenge is the best revenge. Part of the reason cyclists aren’t respected –anywhere, either as athletes or just riding to work or on a Sunday pain cave shred fest—is we are not feared. Maybe it’s time to change that. Just sayin’. (And no I’m not deranged, unless lack of adequate morning coffee counts as deranged, then yes: I am as deranged as they come.)

  2. irishpunk59 July 15, 2011 at 6:42 am #


  3. chunksworth July 15, 2011 at 7:15 am #

    I’m the fleet manager for Boulder B-Cycle, and I’ll have you know that the bikes are being used in the most irresponsible fashion. Doing my daily bike checks I’ve found everything from medical marijuana bags, to pipes, to a stack of empties left in the baskets. Drunk wrecks are becoming common as well. It’s good to know that the handsome people of Boulder still party.
    Also, bike 666 has been renamed “Stevil” in your honor.

  4. Tee July 15, 2011 at 7:49 am #

    Thanks for the “heads up” Stevil! Good job keeping my wandering eyes away from the tool from ESPN.

  5. honest question? July 15, 2011 at 9:50 am #

    I wrote to espn care of:
    Any idea as to whether or not that is a valid email address, or do I have to sign up on their site to complain. which I will do.

  6. Erik July 15, 2011 at 10:42 am #

    Love me some Elko. It’s no Ely but damn fine anyway.

  7. El Camping Grande Pirate July 15, 2011 at 12:55 pm #

    I actually took the time to write ESPN an E-mail last night so thanks for gentle shove. As for Michael Smith et al., it’s well known in broadcasting circles that ESPN pays most of their people shit wages, so it’s no surprise that we’re not getting Edward R. Murrow quality there. I listen to a fair amount of radio at work, ESPN included, and it’s not just cycling they don’t understand. To hear them talk about the big 3 ball sports can be downright embarrassing. More importantly, they are giving their audience what they want, however substandard that may be. On another note, I’m confused as to which photo was the “sexually charged” one; the kid in leathers with the mullet, or the penis microphone. Either way, thanks for the warning.

  8. Gene o July 17, 2011 at 10:39 am #

    Notice in the race pictures that nobody is behind me, yeaaah.

  9. Der Capitan July 17, 2011 at 2:07 pm #

    Was I the only one to scroll all the way to the end after reading the warning and then go back to reading the post?
    Oh, and what can you expect from people with an IQ score equaling their age?

  10. paul July 19, 2011 at 7:46 pm #

    I’ve been to West Memphis and I didn’t see any of those people there.