Just another day in the office.

I would like to first say that I have no April Fool’s jokes today, because I’m still bathing in the glow from last year’s.

Man, I loved that one.’A Gap In The Curb‘… Seriously. Sometimes my own genius confounds me.

Kicking off today’s program I will discuss a matter or two of business. Along with the other drips and drabs of AHTBM merchandise that finds its way here, nothing has been so handsome as the new blue and gold crest shirts which I have just gotten made at Emeryville’s TNT’s Screen printing;

(Sculpted guns not included.)
If when wearing this shirt, complete strangers come up to you and shower you with money and affections, I can’t say you weren’t warned ahead of time.

If you would like one of these to call your own, all you have to do is simply head into the All Hail The Black Market Market.

And OMG! Something else that I can’t afford to pay for the production showed up over the weekend. My fancy pants and team colored (Wo)Man Can Cüzie;

As a matter of fact, I only had enough money to buy one can to show off both sides with.

I’m pretty sure Sir Richard Branson must have started this way as well.

Anyhoo, if you would like one of these so as to hold your can of tennis balls, or log of braunschweiger or whatever, point your thing here and shoot.

Now that we have that bit of business handled, we will move on. In the recent days I’ve spent away, I have received an array of correspondences, and notifications. Affectionately these items have come to be known as ‘The Mail Bag’.

Clever, right?

Anyway, I have some that I will post here now, and a bunch more which I have probably forgotten about.

Firstly, Willem came though with the following hubbub;

My friends and I started a little website to share our typical brand of nonsense
with the world. Please pass it along if you can.

Also, we are a bike team usually up to no good;


Anyone who combines the words ‘bicycle’ and ‘therapy’ is obviously up to no good. No need to reiterate that point.

Firstly part two, Dan from Maximo Supremo residents The Nashville Bicycle Lounge has sent a flyer for an upcoming occurrence which people will most assuredly take part.

“Music City Cycling, Nashville Bicycle Lounge and Brick Factory Nashville have teamed up to present April’s After Crawl, and it’s all about BICYCLES!
8 p.m.

$5 suggested contribution

ENTER TO WIN A SURLY CROSS CHECK (and other stuffs)!

Here’s how:

Raffle tickets available upon entry


You can purchase a punch card for the races. You will use this punch card to pick a winner for each race. The more times you pick a winner, the better your chances are in the raffle for the free bike! So, purchasing punch card + winning = new bike (and other stuffs)! All proceeds will go to East CAN. They help puppies and kitties find families.


Its all sounds good, right? Although I’m not entirely sure what ‘pizza buds’ are… Perhaps it’s a Southern thing.

To Dan’s point about helping wayward animals find their way to loving homes, the lovely human who I am lucky to call a friend, Jesse Lee Denning (for whom the link is probably not safe for work, unless you work in a place that doesn’t mind things that otherwise are considered ‘not safe for work’) turned me on to a clip that had me sobbing like a maniac, which was promptly followed by throwing all of the money in my pockets at the computer, and not just because the music is horrible;

When I finished crying I shottgunned a beer and headed out to lift some weights just to redeem myself.

Of course all of that beer chugging and weight lifting only helped take the edge off. The rest of the aide came in the form of this;
We are the champions indeed.

But back to business for a second…Speaking of Maximo Supremo, if you pay attention to the thing, and I beg that you do, you might notice that Ventana Bicycles has joined the party with an ad for not only their entire line of fancy, fancy ponies, but with specific attention to my beloved El Toro Bravo;

It’s fast and orange and truly a thing of beauty.

I would also like to welcome to Maximo Supremo the good people from Seven Cycles;

I’m not sure why the hell they would want to be here sullying their reputation, as they make some of the most mind blowingly perfect creations ever to have two grace the dirt and road, and are heads and shoulders above and away from our particular ilk, but then again, even the beauty queen likes to slum it sometimes.

Finally, I want to thank San Francisco’s Mission Bicycle Company for hosting this past Thursday evening’s get together;

It was a packed house full of shiny bikes, and happy people, rubbing elbows while discussing an array of topics;

And one fellow with a painfully perfect natural;

Which if were mine, I wouldn’t ever consider disgracing by keeping my head in the sand.

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Leave a Reply

14 Responses to “Just another day in the office.”

  1. Harold Holdren April 2, 2012 at 5:37 am #

    Good shit, dig the new shirt.

  2. Teamfubar April 2, 2012 at 6:36 am #

    Nice new threads…Although I didn’t know you got Mr. McCraig to model it for you.


  3. Crank April 2, 2012 at 7:17 am #

    Damn dog suffering. Makes my heart break. People generally get there by being assholes. Dogs get there by hooking up with an asshole human. Me and mine are on our fifth rescue and restore to health dog. It hurts to feel, but it does bring your heart to the surface. Allows the good to come in. By the way, how is Michael Vick and Nike doing these days?

  4. trama April 2, 2012 at 9:32 am #

    Hot lady not wearing much:
    Look Ma, I’m an artist!!!

  5. -dan April 2, 2012 at 11:30 am #

    there is definitely some weird shit down south… Pizza Buds is a truck that sells pizza out of it, and they put cinnamon and sugar on the crust. I’ll report on it next week.

    thanks fer the plug.

  6. Vanonymous April 2, 2012 at 1:30 pm #

    Edson Alberta Repesent!
    “Physical violence is the least of my priorities”

  7. Nived April 2, 2012 at 4:47 pm #

    You would have felt right at home at the Kick off of Hollywood Cycles part 2,,this weekend in the Cites. Portland East sure knows how to party.
    Their was even music By DNF>>>>>hwoodcycles.com the home of the fastest mountain bikers in MN.. Party On!!

  8. fupapack April 2, 2012 at 5:24 pm #


  9. Trailer Park Cyclist April 3, 2012 at 5:56 am #

    Some day maybe I will be one of the cool kids. That singing drunk: I’ve been in jail with their kind. Fun on film but not so much so at three AM when they won’t shut up or the next day in court when they are in line in front of you explaining the legal system to the judge and getting him all warmed up for the next guy in line.

    Are you aware that your tool board suffers from dangleitis?

  10. Andy April 3, 2012 at 8:46 am #

    Bohemian Rhapsody man makes me proud to be a Canadian.

  11. Latarian April 4, 2012 at 5:06 am #

    Dude, are the new shirts a racer fit (ie American Apparel shirt) or chub cut (sized for fat Americants)?

    Eat fried chicken,

    • Stevil April 4, 2012 at 5:20 am #

      They are pretty normal sized. They are Haynes, so whatever that is.

      • Latarian April 6, 2012 at 6:23 am #



  12. Sue Smith April 5, 2012 at 9:42 am #

    Damn, you write good! 🙂