Tales from the new West.

As I often do, I will come up with a title for a post and then do a Google search for something relating to it and build the content from there. After typing in ‘New West’, the above image is what was generated. It could have been the residual effects from the previous evening, but I couldn’t help but wonder who the ‘her’ it was that the skinscent spray was for.

This was my assumption;

Anyway, getting on with business… As both of you probably recall, last Friday I mentioned that I had planned to go to San Francisco (Or SinFrinSiski, depending on your preference) to get a book signed by Bourbon Jack. Not only did I do that, but a number of other people did as well, as proven from this bird’s eye view (that is, if the bird happened to be sitting on the railing at the top of the stairs);

I lounged around a little bit and waited for the crowds to thin before presenting him with my personal copy which he imprinted thusly;

Followed by collapsing into his half pint of grain alcohol.

Feeling left out of blogdouchesdonegood, I grabbed a copy of a book and signed it as well;

It was then that I began poking around the store to see if there was anything contained therein that would strike the fancy of an individual like myself. In particular I was looking for something in pink, and perhaps with a stripe and maybe a fetching cursive logo imprinted on it. Sadly there was nothing like that, but I did find two other items that piqued my interest.

The first of the two was an endearing quote by a person named Jens, who I later found out is a man.

A man named Jens! Have you ever heard of such a thing?;

I also found a drunk pink octopus who wanted to fight me;

Finally after retreating to the bowels of the Rapha store to say my goodbyes to our host, I left them with a parting gift;

For the sake of full disclosure, I did not in fact relieve myself on the floor of the basement. I merely posed in front of an already existing puddle. On the side of the motorhome parked outside however was another story.

Speaking of peeing on things (but not really), (but not, not really) The Reverend has got his own brand of non good dooery occurring this weekend at the world famous Sea Otter Celebration of The Bicycle (and for a few years, rollerblading);

A number of people have asked me if I plan on attending the world famous Sea Otter Celebration of The Bicycle (and for a few years, rollerblading) and as I have said ever year for the last fourteen or fifteen or sixteen, no, but I probably will anyway.

If you or your are in the mood to celebrate bicycles (and the memory of the few years of rollerblading), we will probably see you there, but probably not, but probably.

Hell, I’ve even heard that the organizers have finally caught wind of the popularity of a little known segment of the bike racing world called ‘cyclocrossing’, and have plans to milk that in any way that they can, so at the very least there will be opportunity o’ plenty to see just how seriously the discipline can be taken.

Anyway, all one can conclude from this is that if there is no post here on Friday, it probably means I’m there. If there’s no post here on Monday, it probably means I’m just getting back to town and/or hungover, and if there’s no post on Wednesday, it probably means that I’m dead.

Then towards the end of the month up there in Bellingham, the dirts from Hellingham are throwing a fund raiser alleycat for, you know… the kids;

Both of these events I have obviously, and thoughtfully and humbly sent various prizes for. At no other events in the world will you have the opportunity to win things that I have kept stored in my sock drawer.

That is with the exception of whichever other events might be so unfortunate to be the recipients of the super duper AHTBM mega prize pack.

Now in closing, because this is a bicycle and bicycle parts related sport site. I will leave you with an image shot on a recent bikecycle ride I went on with J.J. ‘The Assassin’ Newman giving the world a one finger salute;

I include this shot for two reasons. The first being because I have recently learned that if one maintains a bicycle and bicycle parts related sport site and one doesn’t document every single aspect of every single ride that one does, that the ride in fact, didn’t happen.

The second reason is that the jersey which J.J.'”T.A.” Newman is wearing is one of the new creations from the power players behind Cedar Cycling, both of whom darkened the door of my new abode on the very morning of our ride. They brought me one to call my own, which as it turns out was slightly too small to accommodate all of my muscles.

Riding with James while he was wearing his made the benefits of the garment abundantly clear however.

It made him anywhere from nine to twelve feet faster, 67.5% better looking and it may have been my imagination, but I swore I detected a smell intoxicatingly reminiscent of the New West.

Spread this like it's sick

Leave a Reply

19 Responses to “Tales from the new West.”

  1. Troy B. April 18, 2012 at 5:23 am #

    Now that’s just dandy, Mr. Danday:-)

  2. Fdub April 18, 2012 at 6:25 am #

    Well, it’s nice to see that nobody’s holding any grudges against Rapha for the whole SSCXWC thing. gosh, remember how disrespected we all felt? it’s nice to let bygones be bygones… Did ya’ll sing fucking kumbaya while you were there? NorCal Sidehugs at least?

    • Stevil April 18, 2012 at 6:42 am #

      I had to get my book signed and drink free coffee. What else was I supposed to do? If it makes you feel any better, before I left I broke all of their windows out.

      • Fdub April 18, 2012 at 7:36 am #

        Oh, free coffee. Had I known i would’ve been there as well. (just to help with the window smashing and RV pissing of course)

    • RaphaLawyer April 18, 2012 at 7:38 am #

      Team Rapha Cyclocross Professionals is a privately managed subsidiary brand of Rapha North America, which is itself is a separately owned and operated subsidiary of Rapha Performance Lifestyle Brand (TM) based in England. To hold a grudge against Rapha North America because of the innocent, fun-loving actions of two individuals in the employ of Team Rapha Cyclocross Professionals, would be as ridiculous as getting upset with R.J. Reynolds–makers of smooth, refreshing Camel Lites (TM)–just because a box of Kraft Mac ‘n Cheese (TM) didn’t meet your the unreasonably high standards at the Mac ‘n Cheese World Championships you held in Golden Gate Park.

      • fucxer April 19, 2012 at 9:25 am #

        Do you do criminal defense too? I don’t want to have to register as a sheepfucker.

        • Stevil April 19, 2012 at 9:28 am #

          Watch it. My parents read this site.

  3. trama April 18, 2012 at 7:54 am #

    things are really picking up in here, good job.

    • trama April 18, 2012 at 8:05 am #

      as a junior bloggist in training, I thought I would share with you my morning so far:
      stirred in sugar with a chopstick I found under the table, looked pretty clean so I shook it twice and now my coffee tastes like testes

  4. reverend dick April 18, 2012 at 8:17 am #

    That sleazy production, while hella fun, is the brain child of other folks/not me. I DO recommend it hole-heartedly!

    Rumor has it this year’s course is full up with fucking you over a la the Swiss(?) SSWC, when the KOM preme was $50 in cash, you had to present it at the finish to collect or you DNFed, and it was in change…no word on the flaming start line.

  5. reverend dick April 18, 2012 at 8:18 am #

    “ary week it’s the same shit with you people.”

  6. el Presidente April 18, 2012 at 8:35 am #

    Can you still get Carling Black Label?

  7. gelmski April 18, 2012 at 11:14 am #

    I thought we were going to learn about boobs today. WTF

  8. Josh RVA April 18, 2012 at 11:48 am #

    What happened to the balls? I mean bikes are great and all but where else am I going to get information on ball sports?

  9. Latarian April 18, 2012 at 1:27 pm #

    If Loudass was there he would have peed in the basement for reals.

    • JimG April 18, 2012 at 2:58 pm #

      So, if Loudass wasn’t there, who did pee in the basement?

  10. Brent April 19, 2012 at 8:16 am #

    Tales of the New West – San Diego’s own Beat Farmers

  11. EK April 19, 2012 at 11:29 pm #

    yes on boobs. they can be so confusing

  12. Velorambling April 20, 2012 at 6:40 am #

    Could you please continue with Tennis? All this bicycle related talk is old hat.