Here we go again.

As many of the literally tens of people who frequent this site recall, some time ago I was called out by a very passionate individual for wanting to keep women out of cycling.

It seems as though similar forces are at work again, as based on the following Underbike Industry Mixer© flyer, I, along with my compatriots in the event, have been recently accused of being sexist;


As I stated in response to one of the individuals who made this claim, the sponsors of this party have individually and as a group been accused of many things, but being sexist isn’t one of them, (you know, not counting this time). If the accusers knew even a single iota about any of us as people or as businesses, they would know these claims to be absurd, but as it goes, the bike world is jam packed with woefully uninformed individuals who are all more than willing to flex their ignorance from the safe confines in front of their computers.

If that flyer is indeed sexist, then I’m on on pins and needles in anticipation of what sorts of commentary the others that I had presented at the same time will generate;

What? I loathed school and fly intentional misspelling in the face of my parents who were both career educators? As a child I was obsessed with Steve Austin and for a time was convinced I had bionics in me? I dislike children and would only like it if their faces were upside down and were forced to wear car freshener costumes? I hate sweaters?

Perhaps those weren’t the best examples to use, but back to my point…

Go ahead and do your worst, know-nothing anonymeetos, because your opinion means as much as that of anybody else who’s never met me.

Anyway, if the content of the flyers is what’s causing your panties to bunch, then I don’t suspect we’ll be seeing you at the party anyway.

And while we’re on the subject of the party, the cat is obviously out of the bag in as far as what we’ve got in store. The last three years it’s been all nighters with some of the industry’s luminaries at the world famous Peppermill, where sexism abounded and people on both sides of the gender lines emerged offended. This year we’ve moved the location to The Double Down Saloon.

I don’t remember the year, but I’m thinking it was at least 1997 when we first discovered this hole in the wall. On the recommendation of Danny Boy Smith and Chris Scuglia (both of whom I was messengering with at the time), they’d said it would be the best place in town to get sideways in celebration of Robert Ives’ Blue Collar Bikes imprint, which as it turns out was, for all intent and purposes, the first ever Underbike Industry Mixer©.

To that end, aside from celebrating Soulcraft’s fourteenth year in business, Ritte Van Vlaanderingham’s third year at the show, AHTBM’s third year in operation, and Swobo’s reemergence into the industry, we’re actually celebrating Blue Collar coming into its own as a real, live custom frame business.

And lastly, I can’t neglect to mention this year’s entertainment. I have long championed Long Beach, California’s Who Rides The Tiger as one of my favorite forms of musical entertainment. (In the event of my untimely demise, I’ve requested their song ‘Sunshine’ be played at my memorial as my ashes are blown out of a cannon into Guy Fieri’s head.)

It was just after W.R.T.T. broke up that vocalist Bill had mentioned he had another trick up his sleeve called O ZORN!, which he promised would ‘melt my face’. As the months passed, I would get drips and drabs of what he had in store, but it wasn’t until just about a month ago when he sent me some rough cuts from the studio. About nine months before that I asked him if they’d be interested in playing the party, to which he happily agreed;

You wouldn’t think such a half assed operation would take so long to coordinate, but when its architect is filling my clothes, it’s bound to.

Anyway, for those with delicate sensibilities, prepare yourself, because if the nuded up coke head space people hurt your feelings, this one’s going to send you straight to therapy;

Come one, come all, to the lowest brow of all bike events.

Oh, and don’t forget your pig mask.

Spread this like it's sick

Leave a Reply

27 Responses to “Here we go again.”

  1. Jeff McFarland August 31, 2012 at 9:58 am #

    I find the 2nd image nerdist.

  2. Melissa August 31, 2012 at 10:34 am #

    Any man who would post a naked Burt Reynolds on a bear skin rug to thank me for filling out a survey is anything but sexist. People are much too easily offended these days.

  3. Younger, fatter Brother Discoe August 31, 2012 at 10:37 am #

    Upon seeing the nude, coked-up space people illustration, I think my mom rolled her eyes and said “Oh, brother”… then laughed at the humor (she’s married to a 30+ year bike industry vet.. and Army vet). My wife pretty much did the same, as she is used to my level of humor after some 14 years being hitched. I personally do not know the fine folks at Soulcraft, Ritte, Blue Collar and only getting aquainted with you – but I look forward to friendships, alliances we are developing with you all, the IBDs and customers we have met along the way. I can tell you that we will be hiring men and women from the industry and from out. Our wool gear is made by a woman-owned factory here in Colorado, our mom will most likely answer the phone if you call the office, my daughter and niece will be buildling bikes and loading pallets when they are old enough (8 and 10 now), right along side my son and nephew. I say piss on the haters – there wil be more beer, good times, memories, music and celebrating entrepreneurship and a great industry without them.

    • Ben September 4, 2012 at 6:23 am #

      I can wear a skirt to work from time to time if it helps.

      For years the Double Down was a staple of liver punishment. Don’t remember a lot of the time that I spent there, but I do remember getting absolutely sh*#@aced with Joe Murray in the back corner of the bar one time, and I’m pretty sure that I was lucky to escape that bar alive more than once. Thank god Ballbreaker’s RV was just across the street and unlocked. It was the only “safe” place I could find. Had to pack the used Hoosiers into the bathroom in order to have enough space to lie down. Then woke up in a completely different part of town to ‘Breaker telling his wife on the phone, “They’re DRAG SLICKS baby, DRAG SLICKS!!!”

  4. Maurice Tierney August 31, 2012 at 10:46 am #

    All I know is there better be plenty of Coke, as promised!

  5. Tman August 31, 2012 at 11:05 am #

    Back to the Double Down? Yup I was there, I think? I blame Grayboy.

  6. Ulysses Ronquillo August 31, 2012 at 11:20 am #

    Is Stan Beaver invited?

    • Stevil August 31, 2012 at 11:40 am #

      He’s going to be there no matter what we do to prevent it. It’s like trying to stop a tornado with a tea spoon. (I just made that adage up by the way.)

  7. Keith Earickson August 31, 2012 at 11:42 am #

    I always took you for a garden variety, elitist scumbag, which makes me wonder about when you’ll enter the world of politics. You got my vote.

  8. jacs August 31, 2012 at 11:43 am #

    I hope ‘D’ makes an appearance at UnderBike and regales people with the Dville taser story in person…

    Women always talk a lot of smack about equality until another woman (god forbid, a more attractive woman) walks into the room. Then- all bets are off and we’re back to bickering amongst ourselves instead of rising up, together, and being the unstoppable force we are destined to be.

    So, in the meantime, I’m just going to keep being badass.

  9. jacs August 31, 2012 at 11:49 am #

    Can’t we women band together and fight bigger issues that are ACTUALLY oppressive instead of tongue-in-cheek flyers? Jeez.

  10. El Pirate Grande August 31, 2012 at 11:58 am #

    I don’t recall ever approving the flier with the girls on it. Appalling. That said, had someone not been offended, I would have totally taken credit for it. As I like to say, “Privatize the praise, socialize the hate.” For what it’s worth though, I can plainly see one man-nipple, so I’m not sure what the problem is.

  11. Sarai August 31, 2012 at 1:39 pm #

    To equate the delightfully tongue-in-cheek humor of AHTBM to the deeply rooted and self-destructive issues of sexism that exists in cycling is patronizing, offensive, and a misguided and mediocre attempt to act the part of change.

    There I said it.

    See you at the party. Mound the coke, I’m bringing the girls.

    • Case August 31, 2012 at 4:14 pm #

      I think I just fell in Girl Bike Love.

  12. scooper August 31, 2012 at 2:01 pm #

    It was 1997. Working at Sinclair. My first Blue Collar was hand delivered . I walked taller after that. Strutter. I was then, have been, & willl forever be a groupie. I will do my part to keep the dream alive. Pantyless with cowbell on.

  13. Loudass, Esq. August 31, 2012 at 3:05 pm #

    Sexist? What the fuck? He’s sharing the coke, isn’t he? In any case, just look on the bright side: if you had used the picture of the black guy sitting in a bathtub full of donuts they would have called you a racist…

  14. Loudass, Esq. August 31, 2012 at 3:06 pm #

    And it was 1999.

  15. Hardrocking Jonny G August 31, 2012 at 5:06 pm #

    I think that they meant “sexiest”…

  16. gabrielle August 31, 2012 at 5:14 pm #

    Stevil… joke ’em if they can’t take a fuck.

  17. EK August 31, 2012 at 5:28 pm #

    there is nothing wrong with the flyer. i’d say the Downieville tazing, on the other hand, was sexist.

  18. Duncan August 31, 2012 at 6:03 pm #

    In the myriad months I’ve “known” you, and the upwards of 2-5 times we’ve met in person, I have to say I’ve yet to see you do, say, or think anything remotely sexist, except for that one time you slapped a woman out of the blue and, when questioned about it, referred to yourself in the third person: “The Stevil will slap a ho for cuttin’ her eyes at him. Bitch.”

    She did seem to be cutting her eyes at you, so, you know–all is forgiven.

  19. Sean Hurl August 31, 2012 at 8:47 pm #

    Mr. Tazedberg will be missing from our Vegas entourage this year. It turns out that he will be explaining himself to a judge instead. He will be missed and I’m sure he will be there in spirit.
    How come nobody calls you sweet steve anymore? I miss those days! Sexy? yes. Sexist? not even close

  20. Largo August 31, 2012 at 9:01 pm #

    There can never, EVER be enough women in cycling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    My bottom line (no pun intended), you’re a woman, you bike, you’re hot. Period.

  21. cary September 1, 2012 at 2:59 am #

    my nephew’s 4 year old son asked his Grandmother, “how come my penis sticks out when I see a pretty girl.” Grandma punted the ball with, I don’t know I’m not a boy.”

    I could use this kid in Vegas as my Wingman.

  22. eb September 1, 2012 at 12:42 pm #

    What’s wrong with being sexy?

  23. Topper Shut September 4, 2012 at 5:57 pm #

    What’s wrong with coke?