A whole lot of fun stuff.
And who among us don’t like some fun stuff?
Before the proverbial ink even dried on Monday’s post, I wound up with an inbox so chock-full of fodder that I had to rename my email account ‘The Good Times Express’. So as to not waste any time, let’s get right into the action.
A few times over the last year or so, I posted a teaser for the mini documentary All City Cycles produced, but now after many months, the full length is available for public consumption.
Kick off your shoes, pop some corn, crack the seal on your beverage of choice, and take in the sights and sounds of ‘Ruining It For Everybody’;
Who would have thought that back when those words were originally blurted at me, it would eventually become a war cry for the disenfranchised and no-goodniks alike?
I’ve almost never been prouder.
Why, it was just a month and a half ago when I got first hand experience with my inaugural Minneapolis Bandit Cross race. Though I was late, and stopped several times to document, I had a positively blissful time just the same. I whole heartedly encourage anyone who can find themselves in Portland East’s loving bosom to check one of these out for themselves. Barring that, get some friends and throw one of your own.
If a derel like Jeff, or worse, San Francisco’s dfL (for eighteen years running, donchaknow?) can put them on with some semblance of consistency, assuredly any of the bright minds who regularly come to this site can do the same.
And speaking of hijinx at the hands of dirtbags, many moons ago, long before there was a thing called internet porn, there was a magazine in the Bay Area called ‘The Northern California Bicyclist’. In the magazine’s ’employ’ were notable luminaries such as Chip Baker, Mike Ferrentino, Eric Richter, and Tim Parr. At one point, Ferrentino wrote an article regarding a specific form of sabotage which resonated with me.
I enjoyed this piece so much that I later reprinted it in one of the old ‘zines I used to make. (Remember, zines were blogs before ‘blog’ was a word.)
After engaging in some lighthearted electronic backs and forths on the matter recently, I decided to go back into my archives and pull the piece out for old time’s sake. Read on, enjoy, enact, and don’t hold me responsible for when things go pear-shaped;
I’ve done all of these at least once and in some instances, two or three at a time. And as far as Mark’s list down there at the bottom goes, the Thompson seat posts are actually tailor made for the nut on a thread trick.
I’ve even gone so far as to create an easy to understand graphic;
I’m reasonably sure that one made a little blond guy I used to work with cry one time.
Then again, I eventually got mine when in the midst of a race, the faceplate on my stem gave up the ghost after one of my co-workers had inadvertently cross-threaded it upon fixing a tech I busted them in the middle of enacting a few nights earlier.
Ahh, good times…
As we carry on to other matters, and getting back on the topic of Monday’s post, Misanthrosteve forwarded me a video from Gorgoroth, which of course was the former project fronted by Gaahl, who shortly after he came out of the closet, I paid tribute to at the second SSCXWCZzzzzzz….;
Photo courtesy of Brujo
Anyway, he is an intriguing character to say the least, the video is worthy of your attention;
Even though it’s not a flaming slide surrounded by an array of favorite vices, it’s still pretty damn fun.
I remember when people thought you were trying to bite on Sally’s KISS thing that year. Mini-West folk aren’t all that smart.
Ahhh, yes. the ol’ bike prank. I wish we’d known there was a term for it. Ours escalated from shifting someone’s bike right before city limit sprints to ball bearings in the seat tube, to water in the tubular.
After a while, people would check their tires at the start of our Saturday morning ride, so I got the brilliant idea of using milk instead of water. Installed Friday at the end of a long day at the shop while the shop manager was taking a dump. Saturday morning, he rolls his bike out of the shop, says something to the effect of “Funny, guys,” and proceeds to spray rancid milk all over his brand new, C-Record equipped Bianchi Reparto Corsa.
I got one of my bosses with a twist on the ball-bearing-in-the-seat-tube tech. I put a large dab of grease in the tube and then stuck a ball bearing into it. Eventually the vibration from riding in the woods caused the bearing to break free and subsequently rattle around. Also did this inside the relief of his stem. Great tech because it took about 3 weeks for the grease to let go of the bearing so it wasn’t immediately apparent.
I feel as though I am armed with very powerful information. Hapless souls beware. Although most of the people that I ride with have ticking, creaking, noisy bikecycles on a regular basis so I may have to get creative.
Hotdog in the seattube and peanut butter in the bottom brakcket & hub bearings of a former employer who treated us rather not so nicely. I enjoyed hearing from a local wrench about that discovery.
A co-worker and I put chicken wings in another co-workers seat tube during a shop holiday party one year. We were a little drunk and promptly forgot about it. A few months later the victim discovered a nasty mess of rotting chicken in his frame, he was not pleased to say the least. He blamed another and we have never confessed.
My favorite tech is turning every fifth spoke three full turns. When you are not suspecting this attack you will end up spending HOURS at the truing stand, at which point the perpetrator can heckle the victim mercilessly about their suckitude at wheel truing.
Quicksand is on tour. They’re coming to S.F. I belive you’re a fan.
This one was a self inflicted tech that we discovered in a shop where I worked: This guy brought in an old bike with a grinding bottom bracket and asked us to check out. He’d recently taken it apart and feared that it was reassembled incorrectly. We pulled it out and the whole shop began to reek. The guy had put a half jar of Vick’s VapoRub into the bottom bracket because it was the only “grease” he had. The smell was still around the shop a week later.
with an airhose one can drive a few loose ball bearings beneath the surface of a grippe. additionally, without the benefit of an airhose, one can tuck a few loose ball bearings beneath brake hoods. bearings are the ferrets to the beastmasters of bike tecque.